So far this election, we've had pussy grabs, emails, the FBI and more celebrity endorsements than a starving African village would get. So really, just a regular day in the USA. So far on election day, we've had some killer Antony Green tie-shirt combos, awkward satellite crosses, and most tragically, an active shooter situation in Los Angeles. I'm going to very half-assedly keep an eye on the weird and whack in the USA election day.
All times are in AEST, and all opinions are probably irrelevant.
21:57pm: So, how did we get here? How did the orange mocha-frappe-chino of a human end up in the White House? Well, in two words: white people. In the USA, Trump received a high level of support from blue collar white workers who found strength and support in his promise to bring back jobs and money to rural and regional America. That's why so many votes that should have gone to democrats in states like Pennsylvania ended up heading to the republicans. Workers in industries like mining, manufacturing and construction who lost their jobs and their lifestyles in the the Global Financial Downturn found hope and strength in the promises to bring these industries back into the country.
Whether or not these promises will be delivered remains to be seen, however, what this election proves is that when it comes down to it, if you can convince a large, disenfranchised group of voters that their circumstances can be changed, then it really doesn't matter who you are or what you do. In the end, for Trump voters, it was largely about taking back their jobs, their money and their perceived American identity, and history tells us that nationalism and economic growth are two surefire ways to get elected.
At the same time, there were significantly lower voter turnouts in the Black community, many of whom voted for Obama four years ago. When presented with a choice between a somewhat tainted Hilary or a very xenophobic Trump, swathes of voters opted to not vote at all. There will be many people who are looking for a specific reason or cause for what happened, like blaming the electoral college, because Clinton won the popular vote, but in the end, if you ask historical figures ranging from Hitler to Reagan, nationalism and economics are the way in.
White people, perhaps it’s about time that we had a good look in the mirror and a quiet word with ourselves. In exactly four years time, you'll get another chance at this America. Hopefully you'll have better options, because the choice you made impacts us all.
17:06pm: Just when you thought this was all over, red rover, CONTROVERSY IS AFOOT. Hillary Clinton has refused to concede defeat, and the Democratic Party Campaign Chairman has come out on stage to say that "there is nothing more to say tonight, and more will be said tomorrow". Does this mean that they are planning on contesting something? Does it mean that Clinton has flipped her shit and refused to come out? Who knows, but only time will tell.
Now we wait to see what the big Don will say.
16:53pm: I'm not entirely sure if I should be saying congratulations, but it's official and it's over. Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States of America. Grab those toasters, warm those bathtubs.
14:54pm: While no one is willing to conclusively call the election yet, it's getting ever closer for one D-Trizzle. As you might expect, you can sense the excitement in Clinton HQ.
14:28pm: There is a very awkward wait while the final reports come in, so you have to love the lull in fact and cost in speculation. Nothing says 24-hour news cycle like wild speculation. I think I've heard "we just DON'T know" in response to rhetorical questions about what a Trump presidency more than ever.
14:15pm: The Republicans have certainly claimed the House of Representatives and the Senate, so even if by some miracle Hilary took the presidency, the political gridlock would be worse than with Obama.
14:13pm: Even though Marijuana has passed in a lot of places in the US, you might need something a little harder to get through the next few years.
14:08pm: The website for Canadian immigration has crashed. Not saying there's a causation, but there's certainly correlation.
14:05pm: Well, at least satire programs will have PLENTY of material in the coming years. It's looking VERY VERY likely that Trump will be taking the presidency.
13:50pm: Polls in the West are about to close, and we better start hoping that Tupac got down to the polls big time for some California love. Trump's big wins have slowed down somewhat, as the reports move west.
13:45pm: In a twist ending, Leslie Knope actually divorced Ben Wyatt and married John McCain.
13:33pm: A whole heap of markets have opened and fallen almost immediately, as people have realised that it's a lot harder to get money across a border that has a wall on it. The Mexican Peso has taken a little bit of a tumble. Here's their best option:
13:25pm: Loving the brutality on Twitter! Note: "LA" refers to the state of Louisiana.
13:19am: Bit of technical problems with Google thinking I'm a robot. Although, Trump may have just shut down the "Biased Liberal Media".
Not to say I called it, but it looks like Clinton has more of the popular vote, but Trump is winning where it counts - the Electoral college votes.
Different sources will report different figure, based on what they think is occurring. Fox News currently puts the figures at 150 for Trump and 122 for Clinton. New York Times is somewhat more conservative with their numbers, at around 140 Trump/109 Clinton.
The magic winning number is for the first person to cross 270 Electoral college votes.
13:02pm: Donald is watching the Starcraft world championships with bated breath.
12:59pm: About 45% of the national votes have been counted, and at the moment there are reports that Mr. Trump is looking around 60% likely to become President Trump. Does anyone own a reinforced concrete bunker in their backyard? Is that thing about the UQ tunnels true?
12:52pm: Donald Trump's early reporting be like:
12:49pm: Clinton's party is being held in a room with a literal glass ceiling. I'm all for equality, but that's quite on the nose, Hillary. You're better than that.
12:42pm: Trump has pulled ahead in the polls, and it looks like a few publications have started giving him the election. Highway to the Danger ZONE! No swing states have been comprehensively called yet, so numbers are very much still speculation at this point.
12:40pm: Trump supporters are preparing for the next season of The Sing-Off
12:31pm: Distressingly, but somewhat unsurprisingly, assault rifle sales went up prior to the election. AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
12:28pm: If I'm going to be doing this political thing, I need to update my tie collection.
12:13pm: As well as deciding who will be the most powerful person in the free world, voters also have to decide on issues within their states. Californian voters will be deciding on huge issues like the death penalty being repealed, funding for schools and hospitals, and whether or not prescription drug prices will be regulated.
However, one of the biggest, and most important pieces, is whether pornstars will be required to wear condoms in their films. This has been huge, with massive lobbying from the porn world who have said they will tank the Californian economy by taking their $10 billion dollar industry elsewhere.
12:06pm: For the 0.03 persons wondering, Gary Johnson from the Libertarian party still looks like a Survivor Guatemala competitor.
11:58am: Trump's latest win in Mississippi brings his confirmed electoral votes to 66, compared to Clinton's 48. If you're a
11:51am: In case you were wondering, medical marijuana has passed in Florida by 70% to 30%, so if they put Trump in the White House, they can at least chill the fuck out about it.
11: 49am: Let's just remember this one, when we thought that a Trump Presidency was bigly un-possible.
11:43am: It's not like white people have done anything bad that mattered before...
11:35am: Huffington Post Politics have their eyes squarely on the important stuff.
11:32am: The ABC are doing a bang up job here. Marvellous stuff.
11:27am: The New York Times have hooked up with Channel 9's Wide World of Sports to get the cricket Spinometer for the election.
11:23am: Florida hasn't been this important since they won the World Series last year...
11: 14am: For people who don't really know what the electoral college is, think of it like this: Imagine if you voted, then your vote didn't really count. Not really, but to filter a really convoluted system down to a completely Wikipedia-ed short answer, each state has a number of electoral college votes that is based on it's population, and once a state's majority votes for one candidate, all that state's college votes goes to that candidate.
For example, if only 50.1% of voters from New York vote for Hillary, thats enough for all of the electoral college votes from that state to go to Hillary. This means that majority of voters can vote for a particular candidate, but if the other wins the strategic college votes, then they win. This has happened a few times, most recently in 2000, when Al Gore won the popular vote, but George W. Bush won the election.
11:11am: So far, the ABC have told us more about how they're planning to predict the electoral college votes than actually predicting them. There's nothing more exciting than going to a tarot reader who explains how she plans on shuffling and dealing the deck.
10:54am: The ABCNews 24 Politico cross looks like he's not old enough to be awake this late, let alone giving political commentary. Don't you have you be up for school tomorrow?
