"Liberty," "In God We Trust," "2005." That's all it said. That's what it said on the Money I picked up today at the book store. Yes, I picked up money, despite the fact money is quite possibly the grossest thing that exists. I picked up this piece of money because I wanted a token, a small reminder of this day spent with you, Mama. I read it, I read the words on this money and I felt the texture of the bearded man's face against my thumb. I did this because I wanted to remember, to never forget this day spent with you. "I'll keep it with my special things" I said as I put it in my pocket. I will put it with my special things and someday long from now, when I am much more mature and you have begun to whither I will gaze upon this money, read "Liberty," "In God We Trust," and "2005" and I will remember this day. I Love you Mama.



This is an ode to you, my Mother, Mama. For without you I would not have life, literally, and I don't mean because you gave birth to me I mean because each and every day I look at you and you give me new reason, sometimes the only reasons I have to live. This is more than a love, this is... healthy obsession, I both need and want you in equal amounts, and I know that, at least for now, I could not live without you. I love you Mama.

This ode is a celebration of you as a person, Mama, the woman who knows exactly what to say to both me your 23 year old son as well as your three year old grandson in the same breath without skipping a beat, yes it is no doubt you were born for the caregiver, the warmth bringer role. Anything spoken from your lips is enough to keep my sirens at bay. I love you Mama.

I am so blessed, fortunate beyond comprehension to have you, you are literally my everything. I realize how mismatched we are, you deserve a son so much better than me, a son who knows God, a son who doesn't destroy the gifts he gives you after he gives them, a sober son, a clean son, a son who respects your husband, a better son that isn't me. You have been hurt by me, hurt beyond measure, beyond redemption. If I could trade the pain I have caused you and receive it myself I would in an instant, and so I say for the umpteenth time I am sorry Mama, I am so sorry for everything. I love you Mama.

If you hadn't realized it I have been hugging you more often and in longer intervals lately, and I think the reason why I do this is in no small part due to what happened with Grandma. She taught me the meaning of time, the significance of beats spent in this life and I would die if I just let these years slip by without stopping every now and then to count my blessings before they are no more. I love you Mama.

When I ride in the car with you you let me choose what music we listen to, most often meaning we pump the songs to the speakers through my iPhone, my personal collection. You don't know this, but I watch you. When you drive I watch you, and I often skip songs until I see your finger tapping to the beat on the steering wheel. I've really struck gold if you start singing along to the song. When you do this I sit back, letting the music play, and just smile, I smile and cherish these small moments with you. I love you Mama.

I know that my dependance on you is unnatural, and bothersome to you when you want to be alone with your husband. I know I am at the age where I should leave you behind, replace you with a lover. I don't know if I will ever be able to do this, but until then you are my patient, my beautiful, my forgiving, my everlasting best friend. I love you Mama.

And so in this unconventional ode, a short ode without rhyme or time I... I just want to say thank you Mama, and I love you more than words can express.