At the end of 2013, I had completed the fourth draft of a project that would become The Little Big eBook on Social Media Audiences: Build Yours, Keep It, and Win. Instead of being able to celebrate the achievement, I felt somewhat dejected and stuck. The Book started really well. But everything fell flat around the middle, leading to an ending that could only be described as boring. Further, my initial idea of including quotes from readers of my blog at the end of each chapter no longer worked. There was clearly something missing. What could it be? Instead of waiting for the answer to reveal itself, I turned to a few marketing peers and friends whom I trusted. I sent them the draft, asking them for honest, albeit constructive Feedback. The first comments I received stated the same thing: While the book had great potential for sure, it tended to be disorganized and repetitive. “If I were in your shoes, this is what I would do,” people would invariably say. I was grateful for the advice, but I still could not see the whole picture. And then came the first day of the new year. On January 1, 2014, someone we shall call Mark sent me a long email in which he shared his unadulterated thoughts. According to him, the manuscript had three main faults: Mark also stated that there was something wrong on almost every page, before concluding that the whole thing sucked. (He still wished me a happy new year, though! 😜) The comment about men was inaccurate, so it did not bother me. The other ones hit me hard, though, because they just felt like sweeping generalizations and personal attacks delivered in a passive-aggressive tone. I wanted real feedback and that wasn’t it. So, I thanked Mark and decided to never ask him for feedback on my projects again. It took me a day to get out of my funk. “Only a day,” you are probably asking yourself. Yes, only a day. Mark’s email was actually a great wake-up call. And as strange as it may seem to you, I am very grateful for it. I took a break for a couple of days. Stepping away from the project helped me see things very differently. When I started working on the book again, I realized that the problem was actually the format. So, instead of writing something new, I built on what I already had. I got rid of some chapters and reshuffled and edited what was left. I also added more examples and takeaways. My efforts paid. Beta readers never mentioned the problems of disorganization and repetitiveness again. In fact, they all agreed that the book was worth a read (or three). Since its release, The Little Big eBook on Social Media Audiences has received an incredible amount of positive feedback. Many readers have stated that all the examples in the book (including those Mark had found stupid) are actually entertaining and insightful. And, the icing on the cake? The book won an award. So, now onto the moral of the story. Had I dismissed the hurtful feedback, my book would have probably never seen the light of day. If it had, its format (and success) would have be totally different. A few events have shaped my career as a writer and artist. My experience with Mark is one of them. Every time I feel that I am done with a project, his words pop up in my mind, forcing me to review my work to ensure that it is the best it should be. I often find small errors and inaccuracies that way. You should always surround yourself with people who respect you enough to challenge you at every level. Do not rest on your laurels and pay attention to feedback of all sorts. Of course, negative comments sting and hurt. However, once you take your personal feelings out of the equation, you will be free to focus on the important lessons at stake. And if, despite your best efforts, there is no lesson to learn, just let it go. You cannot please the whole world, anyway. 😉 This story was originally written a few years ago, but edited and adapted to fit the format of the Passing Ships Challenge organized by Vocal Media in April 2023: “Write about a small moment in your life that had a big impact.”

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