Given that this blog is called "Assorted Thoughts From An Unsorted Mind" I suppose it's well past time I shared some actual thoughts with you.
 Not deep, meaningful nuggets though. I don't really do those. More like the sort of thing that pops into your head when you realise that the world is not only random but actively going out of its way to screw with you.

How come... whenever I change my duvet cover, it take ten minutes of grappling, copious amounts of swearing and way too much sweat to get the new cover over the duvet...
But when I put a duvet cover into the washing machine it will magically swallow everything else in there.

Maybe that's where I'm going wrong. Maybe I should wash the duvet and the cover at the same time and let them bond naturally.

How come... I can spend an entire night desperately trying to get to sleep...
But when the alarm goes off I suddenly can't keep my eyes open.

I'm convinced that I've spent most of my adult life surviving on the 40 minutes of sleep I get in the gap between my alarm going off and actually getting up.
 So tonight I'm going to try a little experiment. I'm going to set the alarm for 2345 and see what happens.

How come... I keep seeing discarded underpants lying in the street? What's the story there?

I can understand if there was an accident involved but I keep seeing perfectly intact, perfectly clean grundies draped across hedges. Never mind, "Who Shot Kennedy" I need to know whose kecks those were I saw on my way into work on Friday morning.

How come... I see people happily marching along with their nose stuck in the phone - but when I walk along reading my book I get shouted at?

That is, admittedly, a bit dumb on my part but some consistency would be nice.

How come...  I can use my debit card to buy a bottle of Coke and the whole transaction can last less than a minute - but it then takes two days to come off my account balance?

 The bank presumably knows whether I have the money or not, and Christ knows they're fast enough to put the kibosh on when I'm 15p short. So how hard can it be to have an account balance that reflects current events?  

Whatever. Now I'm in a bad mood so I'm going to go raid my fridge and watch dumb shit on Youtube.