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Nerdgasm (w/ a sneaky Dylan reference... bonus points if you find it)

Here's the thing...
Over the last few months, I've been rewatching Lost w/ Solstice & Aiden. We're on Season 3 @ the moment. I've since restarted Season 1 w/ Sara as she has never seen it before. Watching her watch it for the first time reminds me of that scene in Freaks & Geeks when Lindsey is carrying American Beauty through the cafeteria & the Dead Head says, "I wish I'd never heard it before so I could here it again for the first time." Lost is sooooo good!

To make matters worse, I'm waiting for the Dish Network dude/dudette to come and fix the connection in the bedroom. At the moment, the TV screen is snowy. It spent the last day and a half showing just the "Starting Up..." screen, & I spent an hour on Saturday talking through the problems w/ a rather unhelpful Dish Network Help Desk person. I honestly don't watch a lot of TV in bed so it would normally be no big deal, but I wanted to watch the new Kevin Smith show, Comic Book Men in there last night. Seeing as I couldn't do that, I recorded it & in its stead, I read a new Batman trade paperback... it's a collection of Grant Morrison comics about Bruce Wayne finding his way back to the 21st century after being hurled back in time by Darkside.

While waiting, I've spent the last hour catching up on recent episodes of The Office, How I Met Your Mother, & The Big Bang Theory instead of reading 1984 for my Science Fiction class tomorrow. I've also been battling w/ my Internet connection so as to be able to blog about the whole situation. None of this bodes well for my status as a Schwartzernegerian manly man.

Following this train of thought all the way down its nasty spiral, my real concern is that all of this is really just killing time before I see Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 3D this afternoon. In fact, like, the Dead Head on Freaks & Geeks (& like the trailer for the Episodes 4-6 Special Edition releases in 1998, I get to see The Phantom Menace again... for the first time! (I'd like to take a moment to appologize for the fact that I've always been been a George Lucas appologist. Some people have The Lord of the Rings, others, have Harry Potter, still others have Star Trek... I have Star Wars... deal w/ it.)

Deal w/ it? Right! Easier said than done. I'm not dealing w/ it very well @ the moment. I feel like I may need to come to terms w/ an aspect of my life that I have been keeping hidden for lo these many years. I feel that perhaps I'm not the muscle-bound jock I see myself as, but rather something else entirely. I've spent all this time, since middle school in fact, trying to convince myself that this isn't the case. I look at boobs (although I kind of giggle), I've never read a young adult book (but then again even geekdom has its limits), I watch sports (albeit, soccer), & I have what I think is a a decent sense of humor (but who can really judge ones own sense of humor?).

I fear that after all this time, it's time to admit the truth. This is my coming-out narrative so you best enjoy it. The truth is that I may be a nerd. I'd write more, but I need to check on the chickens & look into getting ducks. There's nothing nerdy there... not at all. The only saving grace is that most of you can completely relate. We're all nerds, babe, it's a wonder we can even feed ourselves.

This post first appeared on Drifting Into Deep Water, please read the originial post: here

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Nerdgasm (w/ a sneaky Dylan reference... bonus points if you find it)


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