New Meanings for Old Words
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ARBITRATOR: n. A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds
DOCTOR n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.
ETC. abb. An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.
LIQUOR n. How a male animal cleans his mate.
AIRHEAD (eyr-hed) n. An act you put on when pulled over for speeding.
HAIR DRESSER (hare dres-er) n. A magician who creates a hair style you can never duplicate.
BAR-BE-QUE (bar-buh-Q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up – for the dinner he made for his friends.
BIDE, v. Past Tense of buy.
GOAD, v. Past tense of go
PROPHET, n. What a greedy religious organization ultimately desires (as opposed atheism, a non-prophet organization).
THESAURUS, n. A dinosaur that studies words.
CONGRESS, n. The antonym of progress.
HAMLET, n. A small pig.
BARIUM, n. What doctors recommend when their patients die.
BENIGN, adj. What you be after you be eight.
NODE, v. Past tense of knew.
SUDAFED: v. Brought a suit against a government official.
OXYMORON, n. Someone who is as dumb as an ox.
DISCLAIMER/WARNING: My love of words has finally got the best of me. This information is completely and totally PLAGIARIZED from alphaDictionary.com
