Humped that five-gallon gas can ten Miles each way.  Passed by a hundred trucks or more.  Middle of Nowhere, New Mexico. 

Rest Stop Guy Walking His Dog:  "No, I can't give you a ride, I'm not going that way."

Me:  "I saw you drive in.  You are going that way.  C'mon, I'll give you a hundred bucks (flashed the bill) for a 10-minute ride.  Please."

Guy:  "I don't have space."

Me:  "You're driving a PICKUP TRUCK!  I'll ride in the bed."

Guy:  I don't have time, I'm in a hurry."

[Awkward silence while we both watch his dog nonchalantly meander the entire rest area]

I hope his Labrador spontaneously combusts.  And I hope he drives over a half-mile spread of 3" nails, in the middle of that cellular dead zone, twenty miles from home.  At the same time.  Preferably tomorrow.

--------------------------

Me:  "I hate your town.  And your State.  And its people." 

Bubble Gum Bombshell Barbie cashier at the gas station:  "I've lived here my whole life.  Broke Dow a few times myself.  They wouldn't stop for me in a mini-skirt."

To the people of Eunice, and all of New Mexico:  you're rude, you're selfish, and I pray for the day that Texas secedes from the Union, declares war on--and annhilates--your ugly State, and forces your people into labor camps in Kermit.