5-star ride... for your too-tight Zara blazer. Uber's getting into the un-delivery biz with a "return a package" feature. Users in dozens of US cities including NYC, Chicago, and Nashville can now pay a flat $5 (or $3 for UberOne members) to send packages to their local post office, UPS, or FedEx. Uber has transformed from a ride-hail app to an everything transportation app, delivering people, food, freight, pharmacy products, and that purse you forgot at your friend's party. Now:

• Real-time returns: Users can send up to five packages per ride, live-track the driver's route, and get a picture receipt when the return's complete.

• Irksome errands: Nearly 80% of shoppers under 30 think mail returns are somewhat or very annoying, and that's helped create a market for courier services.

Race to return… Returns have soared since the pandemic online shopping boom, when folks used their bedrooms as fitting rooms. Last year, 17% — or $212B worth — of all online purchases got sent back. The habit isn't easy to break, and companies are catching on: in January, DoorDash launched a similar $5 return-package pickup. Last year, Walmart debuted its return-from-home service at no extra charge for Walmart+ subscribers.

Easing one problem can aggravate another… US returns are expected to hit $1T/year soon, and companies are struggling to keep up with extra shipping costs, restocking, and bloated inventories. In response, retailers including Zara, TJ Maxx, and Kohl's have gone from free returns to fee returns. H&M started charging for returns last month to discourage over-ordering. Last year, over 40% of companies charged return fees, up from 33% in 2021. As Uber and others make returns even easier, more companies could follow.

"Sapiens" at 2X speed… Spotify is coming for Audible. The Swedish streamer is giving paid subscribers 15 hours of audiobook listening a month, offering 150K+ titles. If listeners get stuck on a cliffhanger, they can pay an additional $11/month for 10 more hours. The literary perk launched in the UK and Australia this week and is expected to entertain commuters in the US and other markets this winter. The move could help Spotify retain and attract subscribers — especially after it raised prices this year.

• Prologue: Spotify got into the audiobook biz in 2021 with a $123M acquisition of audiobook platform Findaway, and started offering à la carte purchases last year (which struggled to catch on since users had to leave the app).

• Antagonist: Amazon-owned Audible dominates the biz, though Prime subscribers still have to pay for the audiobook membership. By offering listening hours at no extra charge to subscribers, Spotify could gain a leg up.

Trying earverything… Spotify has invested ~$1B in podcasting, sealing exclusive multimillion-dollar deals with everyone from "Call Her Daddy" host Alex Cooper to Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. But the investment has yet to pay off with a profit. The streamer has ended several of its big-name deals and laid off workers in its pod division. Meanwhile, music artists have long been battling for a bigger cut of royalties, as platforms and artists struggle to earn streaming $$. After losing $555M in the first half of this year, Spotify expects audiobooks to have high profit margins (40%+).

Books could be Spotify's high note… Audiobook sales have seen double-digit growth for 11 years in a row, with especially big spikes during the pandemic. More than half of Americans have tuned in to an audiobook, and listenership continues to grow as books in general remain popular. Plus, analysts say book publishers welcome competitors to Audible, meaning Spotify should be able to keep expanding its library.

🌶️ Spicy… In his new book covering the rise and fall of Sam Bankman-Fried, Michael Lewis ("The Big Short," "Flash Boys") says the former crypto billionaire considered paying Donald Trump $5B not to run for president next year.

⚖️ Judgy… Su Zhu, a cofounder of Three Arrows Capital, was arrested in Singapore after refusing to cooperate with an investigation into 3AC, news reports said. The crypto hedge fund lost billions when TerraUSD blew up last year.

🤔 Sus… Before FTX went bankrupt, several of its US employees reportedly discovered code that allowed sister trading firm Alameda to rack up a negative balance on the exchange. After the FTX employees' boss was said to have flagged the code, the boss was fired.