Movie theaters have obviously been going through a tough time, but we finally got a solid slate of big-budget cinematic blockbusters released in actual Movie theaters this year. (As opposed to the recent “theater” experience that consisted of your TV and a soiled futon). But even though they cost small fortunes to produce, some of 2023’s biggest films were hiding some surprisingly goofy behind-the-scenes stories. Like how…

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5 The Only Thing That Wasn’t CGI in ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania’ Was a Literal Pile of Crap

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania wasn’t exactly the most impressive entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, somehow ranking even lower than the one where Iron Man pals around with Elon Musk and pees himself in front of all of his friends. A common complaint among moviegoers was the film’s overreliance on janky CGI, such as the scene in which Ant-Man confronts his nemesis… Alfred E. Neuman?

But not every non-human element was made up of hastily composed ones and zeroes. Case in point: For one scene, the filmmakers built a practical set featuring practical piles of dirt. Not bad for a movie that cost $200 million to make. 

Unfortunately for the actors, they soon realized that the “dirt” in question was actually manure. According to star Paul Rudd, the “horrendous” stench quickly sickened the actors, and the dung was soon replaced with some less-smelly dirt, inadvertently creating the perfect metaphor for how this movie was received.

4 Christopher Nolan Gave His Daughter the Worst Possible ‘Oppenheimer’ Cameo

Once America realized that the story of a sentient children’s toy and three-hour movie about one of the worst atrocities in human history were the peanut butter and chocolate of cinema, Oppenheimer became a box office smash. 

The making of Oppenheimer was a family affair; not only was it produced by Christopher Nolan’s wife and long-time filmmaking partner, Emma Thomas, but their daughter, Flora, also has a cameo. So, who did she play? One of Oppenheimer’s students at Berkeley? Some unnamed communist party member? Nope, she’s the young woman whose goddamn face gets melted off during one of Oppenheimer’s traumatic hallucinations.

According to Nolan, Flora just happened to be visiting the set during a break from college and agreed to be part of “a somewhat experimental and spontaneous sequence.” While it may not have been the most glamorous role, at least no one can accuse Nolan of contributing to Hollywood’s nepo baby epidemic.

3 ‘Barbie’ Allegedly Caused a Worldwide Pink Paint Shortage

The finest film based on a children’s plaything since Cocaine Bear (which was loosely based on the struggles of Teddy Ruxpin, obviously), Barbie impressively created the world of Barbie and her friends, including her Dream House, convertible and a ton of pink plastic infrastructure.  

Director Greta Gerwig’s devotion to building practical sets, rather than digital ones, necessitated a lot of pink paint, so much so that the production reportedly caused a “global shortage” of that specific shade.

Though, to be fair, the company that manufactures the paint was already experiencing problems due to “supply chain issues,” and also because their pink paint supply was depleted after the 2021 Texas deep freeze “damaged vital materials used to create the paint.” Still, Barbie hogged the remaining supply, so anyone looking to give their house a bubblegum-colored makeover was shit out of luck.

2 Ilsa’s Badass Eyepatch in ‘Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning’ Was Created Because Rebecca Ferguson ‘Can’t Fucking Wink’

One of the best, least-problematic stars of the Mission: Impossible series is Rebecca Ferguson, who plays former MI6 agent Ilsa Faust. Ilsa thankfully returned in the recent Dead Reckoning Part One, this time with a sniper rifle and a badass eyepatch.

One might assume that the “desert sniper eyepatch” is a go-to accessory for all sexy assassins who don’t want to get sand in their eyes, but it wasn’t actually in the script. According to Ferguson, the reason for the eyepatch is a decidedly uncool one — it was because she “can’t fucking wink.”

While on set, rifle in hand, Ferguson was asked to close one eye to take the shot — but found herself incapable of doing so on either side. So instead of going to the trouble of CGI-ing her eye, Wesley Snipes in Blade: Trinity-style, the director asked for an eyepatch to be brought to the set.

1 Harrison Ford and Phoebe Waller-Bridge Swapped Faces in ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ to Scare Each Other

For the fifth and — barring any future CGI meddling — final Indiana Jones movie, filmmakers wisely swapped out Shia “I’m Not Famous Anymore” LaBeouf for a new sidekick: Fleabag star Phoebe Waller-Bridge (who disappointingly never once broke the fourth wall). 

Despite having a co-star on the cusp of becoming an octogenarian, Waller-Bridge was compelled to prank Ford. One time she reportedly “scared the crap” out of the Hollywood Homicide star by hiding in his trailer while wearing one of the lifelike Harrison Ford masks made for the film’s stunt team, which we can only imagine made her look like a grumpy, geriatric Leatherface.

This thankfully didn’t lead to Indiana Jones and the Massive Coronary Event; Ford merely ordered her out of his dressing room, then returned the favor by scaring Waller-Bridge while wearing her face, also known as the Travolta-Cage Maneuver.

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