1. Julia Fox reminds her detractors she could send them down the drain

In an interview with the New York Times, she disclosed a lot of personal details: she said she didn’t have sex with Kanye, that she is paid $20,000 to show up at events and she prefers the emotional truth to the literal truth. She also outlined her writing process and how she decided which events to include in her book and which to cut: “A lot of it had to do with, ‘well, do I want to ruin people’s lives?’. It’s my story, but it’s also their lives… If anyone does get upset, I’m going to be very quick to remind them: “I went easy on you. I could have done more damage.” Wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of her.​

2. Joan Collins cements her reputation

Joan Collins is known for being forthright. And the actress demonstrated just that in an interview with the Guardian this week. Collins’ assistant, who is a long-time friend of her daughters, sat in on the chat and was asked by the journalist to describe her relationship with Collins. “I’ve known Joan since I was a little girl,” she said. “But Joan didn’t have time for me in those days.” To which Collins replied: “Oh, that’s nice! Yes, go on: cement my reputation as a bitch!” She also ranked all of her ex-husbands, and asked the reporter who his worst ever interviewee was, before suggesting: “Ben Kingsley! Nobody likes Ben Kingsley.” Poor old Ben.

3. All long coat and silk underwear

Ringing in at €5,330, Miu Miu’s new sequin and silk underwear comes with the proud accolade of being the most expensive pair of underpants on the planet. The knickers are selling fast and have been described by the New York Post as “the dazzling unmentionables [that] are the upper-crust rendition of the no pants trend”. The Guardian was less flattering, dubbing them the “genital glitter ball that costs as much as a cheap second-hand car”. Vogue advises on how to style them: opt for loafers, a dressing gown-style coat and a robust handbag. Presumably so you have an emergency pair of trousers on hand in case you catch sight of someone you know.

4. Official reception hosts Tiny member

To the Oireachtas, where this week the Ceann Comhairle and the Cathaoirleach of the Seanad had the pleasure of welcoming and hosting the president of the Council of Europe’s Parliamentary Assembly. It would have been a pretty unremarkable event — so why did a photo documenting it cause some excitement online? Because the man in question was called Mr Tiny Kox. Oh come now! We’re more mature than that — aren’t we?

5. At last, a politician is a very good boy

My favourite news story of the week was about Mayor Max III, the third generation of golden retrievers to have held the much-prized mayoral seat in the Californian town of Idyllwild. Animals have become elected representatives in the past: a pitbull called Brynneth Pawltro was elected mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky in 2016. And it sounds like Max is taking the job seriously. “He has around 3,000 ties,” his owner said. “He ate three of them during his first month in office.” Good boy, Max.