A recent article in Economic Times (click here) has once again highlighted the thousands of times repeated, remixed, remashed and recycled topic of Music Piracy.
As expected from the correspondent, there is nothing new in the article. The same old frequent-flying members of hi-fi sounding research teams who seem to be permanently 'on-air' even while doing research with little or no connection to the ground below. That is understandable in a world where after completing one research assignment, the busy-bee professionals need to quickly move on to the next research work from some other client. I mean, where is the time?
Quickly gobble together some facts and spice it up with stupefying statistics like fast bowler bouncers, add quotes from the regulars, and top it up with the usual delicious content toppings (music piracy feku raag masala in the Indian context), click publish and bang....matter over!
Take a look at the Music Piracy data shared in the article.
1092% for Telegram
342% for Online and Mobile
42% for Youtube
The first 'murga quote' is by a somebody by the name of Nachiketh Pantvaidya who delivers a legendary line. He says, 'Piracy has been a growing concern...!" Oh, is it? Looks like nobody knew that before him!
The next 'murga quote' is by another somebody by the name of Abhishek Dhoreliya who claims, 'The ability of ISPs was severely compromised...during lockdown'. Oh, before the lockdown, were the ISPs busy whacking the music pirates day and night?
Telegram India being the darling of music pirates in India is also talked about at length in the article. Any 'murga quotes' from Telegram India? None...I mean they were not even replying to requests by Economic Times! Ah...who is interested in music piracy yaar? Oh yaar?
The next 'murga quote' is MEGA...I mean zabbardast. This person appears to be a certified genius of the Indian Music industry and I can claim 100% to have discovered him. His name: Gautam Talwar. His quote: 'We take two years to make original content and it takes less than 12 hours to be on a pirated website.' Ah...what a genius? Nobody knew this earlier, my goodness! We all knew that music pirates could do their tricks in minutes...he has come up with a dozen hours. The pirates must have yawned for more than 5 minutes per yawn after reading this just-now discovered genius-in-verbal-action!
And the next path-breaking 'murga quote' is from Tushar Vohra who seems to be in love with the English language more than anything else in life. He says, 'The investments we make....is HUMONGOUS'. Oh...humongous? What does that mean? I bet 99% of the artists or those affected by piracy and even the music pirates may not know what that means. Let me be honest: Even I do NOT know what humongous means! Anyways, Forget it. Even if I refer to the English dictionary, will it end music piracy? NEVER.
Tushar goes ahead even further to say, 'Music Piracy results in loss of money and users'....Woooh. Nobody knew about that. Isn't it? Ah... Thanks a million to Tushar for sharing supreme music piracy knowledge.
And coming to the next enlightening 'murga quote': It is by Nitin Tej Ahuja. His comment is a treat...an absolute feast in fact. He says, 'During the lockdown, pirated websites grew manifold'. And here is the murga climax...he adds,"...the situation was precarious even before the lockdown'. So in effect, there is NO CHANGE. Haha..Woooh! Nitin also delivers a Sixer out of the Wankhede Stadium and into Churhchgate railway station by adding: 'Indians do not consider watching pirated content as theft '. Ah...dearest Mr. Nitin, I do consider watching pirated content as theft and I am an Indian. Please be careful with your words or else you may have to soon follow the footsteps of the earlier head of The Producers Guild of India!
Now the CLIMAX quote from Mr. Blaise Fernandes. He says, ...if piracy problems are not nipped in the bud, it will have serious ramifications for the recorded music industry.' Oh...really? Understood, seriously understood. So let's take a bud and go nipping. But who will do the nipping? How to do that? Will it be effective?
Oh c'mon! That's another story!
I will prefer napping...take a NAP. Just like the pirates. Because both sides know nothing will happen. Because as the music pirates will agree with me, the business of Music Piracy is all about Hypocrisy!
And hypocrisy SELLS! Both in the Press headlines and in the open market. So the show will go on and on just like the stock market indices. Kabhi UP toh kabhi DOWN.
I am keenly waiting for the next article on Music Piracy in some other reputed publication.
Thank you Economic Times. All the best for next month's ad revenue target! I hope Telegram is happy with this article and the new era in messaging ;) Oh sorry, new era in piracy too!
Yours Musically,
Krish The Muzzikman
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