You may have heard the story of two wolves. It’s often used to illustrate the internal conflict between good and evil. But it’s also a powerful story about Limiting Beliefs.

One day, a grandfather shares some timeless wisdom with his young grandson. 

He says: “In life, there are two wolves inside of us, always at battle. One wolf is love, kindness, bravery, and empathy. The other is fear, greed, and cynicism. The same fight is happening inside you and every other person, too.”

The boy ponders over what his grandfather has said and then asks: “But grandfather, which wolf wins?”

The grandfather replies: “Whichever one you feed.” 

Examining your own headspace, which wolf do you feed on a daily basis? 

Are you living your life from a place of courage and inspiration, or are you trapped by negativity and doubt? 

If it’s the latter, your Limiting Beliefs are winning. They’ve been eating well for a long time, inhibiting you from orienting yourself toward purpose, fulfillment, and confidence.

The good news is that you can change this by learning how to feed the other wolf.

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

We all have beliefs; they’re the things we accept as true but cannot prove. Some beliefs are beneficial; they give us self-confidence and spur us forward.

These beliefs are the essence of the fearful wolf: thoughts laced with doubt, cynicism, and negativity that narrow our minds, keep us in our comfort zones, and stop us from unleashing our potential.

Often, limiting beliefs are subconscious and entrenched, making them tricky to identify and even more challenging to uproot. But the good news is you can overcome them with practice, heart, and some practical tools I will share with you today. 

The Lineage of Limiting Beliefs 

In his revolutionary book The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton asserts that “95% of our beliefs and thereby behaviors are hardwired into our subconscious by age seven.”

By this time, we’ve already built a mental web of beliefs that will stay with us throughout our lives – unless we try to modify them proactively. 

You might think: “I can’t even remember being five or six, so I don’t know how I could’ve gathered any limited beliefs by then!”

Well, as it turns out, our young subconscious minds are like recording devices with the “record” button constantly on. Just like a sponge, we would’ve constantly been soaking up all the data in the world around us – things we were told, heard, and saw.

However, given our young age, we would not have practiced critical thinking and formulated our beliefs based on these experiences. Instead, they made direct imprints on our psyche, leaving perceptions and misperceptions about the world around us that we probably still believe today. 

Whether you had a wonderful childhood or a challenging one, I believe most of us have self-limiting beliefs that we need to replace with empowering ones. After all, the young mind is highly malleable – just one negative experience could leave wounds that last a lifetime. 

The first step towards recalibrating your mind’s belief system? Discovering where your limiting beliefs lie. 

How to Identify Limiting Beliefs 

The challenge is figuring out which of your thought patterns are flowers and which are weeds.

Maybe you already have an idea of some of your limited beliefs, or perhaps you’re starting from scratch. With the tips below, you’ll start noticing the weeds that pop up in your mind time and time again. 

1. Keep a Daily Journal 

Our thoughts and emotions often go hand in hand. When you feel sad, angry, or afraid, your mind is probably feeding you a narrative that fuels your feelings. 

Decoding the relationship between your moods and thoughts is an excellent way to uncover limiting beliefs. At the end of each day, observe how you feel in a journal and try to uncover the thoughts that coincided with this feeling. 

The more frequently you write in your journal, the more opportunity you’ll have to notice the recurring negative thought loops in your experience. 

2. Revisit Your Hopes and Dreams 

If you could do anything – without fear of judgment, failure, or money worries – what would you do? 

Next – why aren’t you trying to do it already? Answer that, and you’ll uncover some of the entrenched limited beliefs holding you back. 

Another way of trying this exercise is the Fill-In-The-Blank method. 

Think of an aspiration you’ve put on the sidelines or a project you’re currently struggling with. Then, fill in the blank at the end of the sentence. 

Here’s an example:

I can’t get the promotion I want because _________________.

Say the sentence out loud and resist the urge to be self-critical. Whatever you fill in the blank with indicates one of your limiting beliefs. 

3. Consider Agreements You’ve Broken With Yourself 

At some point or another, we’ve all gone off track with our goals. Many people, for example, sign up for the gym at the start of the year, only to cancel their memberships by February. 

Think about the agreements you’ve made with yourself that you’ve failed to keep over the years. It could be starting a side hustle, upping your fitness, or reading more. 

Once you’ve honed in on a few of these sidetracked resolutions, ask yourself why you gave up. 

Be honest, raw, and vulnerable – the answer will point directly to a self-limiting belief. 

4. Speak With a Professional 

If, after these exercises, you’re struggling to identify your limiting beliefs or feel overwhelmed by them, seeking support from a trained professional like a therapist or life coach is a great idea. 

These empathetic practitioners draw on a range of techniques and exercises to help people untangle their limiting beliefs, improve their self-esteem, and live more rewarding lives.

Examples of Some Powerful Limiting Beliefs

Let’s take a look at common examples of some of the most powerful – and also most damaging – self-limiting beliefs. 

Note that this isn’t an exclusive list. While these beliefs are some of the most prevalent out there, limiting convictions come in all shapes and sizes.

1. I’m Not Good/Smart/Creative/Young Enough

Limiting beliefs often revolve around hurtful self-talk. You may hinder yourself from chasing your dreams because you don’t believe you’re good enough or self-critically compare yourself to others. 

This kind of self-talk is really harmful. When you tell yourself you’re not good enough, you lower your self-esteem and deny your innate desires. 

Left unchecked for long enough, this limiting thinking can dent your self-confidence and lead to a deep, uneasy feeling that something is missing. 

2. I Don’t Have Time 

“Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time’ is like saying, ‘I don’t want to.”

Lao Tzu

If you’ve been putting off starting a business, writing a novel, or applying for a new role because of a lack of time, I challenge you to go deeper. After all, most of us do have time.

If you manage to watch Netflix, catch up with friends on the weekends, and regularly go on vacation, you have time – it’s just that you’re using it for other things. 

The reasons for this can be multiple:

• Fear of failure
• Being comfortable with the status quo
• Not wanting to put yourself out there

The point is, it’s rarely time that’s the issue in these instances. It’s your limiting beliefs stopping you from moving forwards. 

3. I’m Scared of Making Mistakes 

Many individuals who feel unhappy in their current situation never make a change because they’re afraid of failure and making mistakes. But letting fear hold you back is one of the greatest mistakes you can make. 

When we don’t take action toward our goals and dreams, we set ourselves up for a life of unfulfillment. 

Of course, pursuing any new opportunity will lead to mistakes along the way. But mistakes aren’t bad. They’re lessons: opportunities to acquire new skills, learn new things, and grow as a person.

4. I’m Helpless

Life is inherently full of ups and downs. Often, what happens to us is out of our control, but how we respond is within our autonomy.

However, some people fail to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions. Instead of taking control of their life, they see themselves as victims. They blame the world for their problems and feel helpless as a result. 

This is a difficult way to live. By letting external circumstances dictate your happiness, you deny your own power and block your potential. 

To live a badass life, you must take radical responsibility for your thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Trust me, you have a lot more grit and resilience than you realize. 

5. I Don’t Like Change 

A lot of people dislike change. We get comfortable in the familiarity and safety of routine. But here’s the thing – living an extraordinary life requires taking risks. 

Falling in love, starting a business, and pursuing our dreams all require us to embrace change and step outside of our comfort zones. 

It might be uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean change is bad. Change feels hard because it challenges us to grow and open ourselves to new experiences. 

While this feels intimidating, the outcome is well worth it. When we follow our hearts and pursue change with curiosity and an open mind, we embrace life to the fullest and unlock a more profound sense of purpose. 

How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs: Becoming the Author of Your Belief System

To reach self-actualization and live a meaningful life, you must take charge of your belief system and erase the faulty limiting beliefs taking up your headspace.

Of course, shaking the beliefs you’ve held close from childhood will take work, but it’s entirely possible.

Here’s how to do it. 

1. Commit to Self-Authorship 

Former Harvard Psychologist Dr. Robert Kegan proposed that adults can potentially go through five distinct developmental stages – although many never make it past stage three. 

Stage four is what Kegan called the Self Authoring Mind – a state of being where we separate our identity and belief systems from the opinions and expectations of other people and society. 

You can cultivate a self-authored mindset by proactively crafting your values and identity. 

Spend some time thinking about what really matters to you regardless of external expectations. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What causes stir your heart? 
• Who do you want to be? 
• When do you feel most like your true self?

Answering these questions will help you align with your unique internal compass. 

2. Choose One or Two Beliefs That No Longer Serve You 

From regular journaling and self-reflection, you will have started to uncover some of the limiting beliefs stopping you from embracing your most authentic, highest self.

Now, I want you to pick one or two of these beliefs for conscious rewiring. Start small – noticing every time negative self-talk creeps in and writing it down. You may find that specific situations or people trigger this limiting belief. 

The more familiar you become with how these unhelpful thoughts show up in your life, the better prepared you’ll be to recalibrate them. This leads us to the next step.

3. Release Yourself From the Limiting Belief

It’s time to replace your limiting belief with an expansive one. This takes time, practice, and dedication to untangle unhelpful thought patterns and reconfigure them.

I recommend a four-step process to get started:

1. Look at the limited belief you’ve chosen to rewire and speak with a friend, family member, or coach to formulate a new view that opposes your old one. For example:

Limiting belief: “I don’t have enough time to pursue my passion.”

Empowering belief: “I will carve out time by prioritizing tasks with daily planning.”

2. Over the next two weeks, make a note every time you catch yourself reverting to your limited belief. Each time this happens, consciously counteract the limiting belief with your new empowering conviction. 

3. At the end of the time period, check in with your support system, exploring what you’ve learned about your beliefs, any obstacles you’ve faced, and what worked well. 

4. Keep repeating this process until you’ve incorporated your new belief into your internal framework.

4. Commit to Regularly Reviewing Your Belief System

Remember the story of the wolves I mentioned in the introduction? The exercise I’ve outlined above is all about helping you feed the courageous wolf instead of the fearful one.

With that in mind, I’d like you to commit to regularly reviewing your beliefs to find where limited thinking and systemic misperceptions may still lie. This will help you ensure you remain the author of your life and live in accordance with your core values. 

As you continue digging up old fruitless beliefs and replacing them with beneficial ones, you’ll actually rewire your brain. Over time, you’ll find yourself naturally thinking optimistically, embracing new challenges, and becoming the best version of yourself. 

Ready to Live an Expansive Life? 

Letting go of limiting beliefs is like breaking free from a cage – enabling you to rise into your self-worth, reconnect with your soul and operate at a higher frequency. 

In my new book, I’ve developed a field guide full of exercises to help you revise your belief system and discover the path toward purpose and personal fulfillment. 

Get the SoulSalt book here.

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