Now living in Los Angeles with her daughter Grace, Melissa M. Monroe was born in Yuma, AZ. She attended Loyola University in Chicago. After finishing at Loyola, she studied modern dance at University of Chicago. In 1995, she moved to California to train in Pilates, yoga, and acupuncture, which she practices as a professional.
Website: http://www.melissamariemonroe.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/tripleMMeaning
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelissaMarieMonroeAuthor
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@triplemmeaning
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissammonroe/
Welcome to The Writer's Life! Now that your book has been published, we’d love to find out more about the process. How did you come up with the idea to write your book?
I began writing a blog about a month after Alice died because I could barely speak, and folks wanted to know how I was doing. They also wanted to know what happened. I thought some friends and family would read the blog, and I'd save my breath and sanity because re-telling the story over and over was traumatizing. But the blog took on a life of its own, something I didn't expect. Eventually, my friend Teresa Strasser (author of Exploiting My Baby and Making It Home) ordered me to send her chapters. That's the origin story in a nutshell.
Who is your publisher and how did you find them or did you self-publish?
I self-published. I felt 12 months pregnant with the book and needed it out of me so it could go become whatever it is meant to become.
Do you believe a book cover plays an important role in the selling process?
I do. I believe that whether we would like to admit it or not, people judge books by the cover. A great cover will not make up for bad writing, of course, but I do think the cover is extremely important. I was fortunate to find Jason Arias. He's highly experienced, profoundly talented, and communicates so clearly and kindly.
How hard was it to write a book like this and do you have any tips that you could pass on which would make the journey easier for other writers?
I did not find writing -- or even editing -- particularly difficult. The query process, publishing, and marketing were far more challenging than writing for me. I was compelled to write this book, much like the red shoes made the dancer dance in the ballet The Red Shoes. My best advice is to write first, and edit second. You have to get it out in a crappy first draft before you can "fix" it. If you edit yourself while you are still trying to get it out of your head, it may never get out of your head.
What other books are you working on and when will they be published?
I am currently pitching essays to magazines and journals. Once I place a few pieces, I will start on a book that more goes deeper into my spiritual practices. I also have a picture book idea. When they will be published is a mystery! I hope in 2025ish.
What’s one fact about your book that would surprise people?
My book is more a love letter than it is a grief memoir.
Finally, what message are you trying to get across with your book?
I hope the bereaved and traumatized find some hope, the non-bereaved find some compassion, and that we all learn to enjoy the little things.
Paralyzed by guilt, grief, and PTSD after her 2-year-old daughter Alice died in her sleep of unknown causes, acupuncturist Melissa Monroe determined not to become a victim in the story of her life. While taking the advice she had given to many grief and trauma patients throughout the years, hoping she could create a meaningful life without closure, she took notes throughout her healing process.
Struggling to advance her timeline beyond that of her daughter’s – and still eager to be the keeper of Alice’s stories – Melissa began to write about Alice’s life and the impact of her death. She became her own lab rat, trying various approaches to healing with the hope that her experience might be helpful to others stuck in a trauma time loop.
As much a study of trauma’s effect on time perception as it is an intimate view into the heart and mind of a bereaved mother, Mom’s Search for Meaning shows us that meaning resides in the search itself…with a spoonful of gallows humor to help the medicine go down.
Praise:
“Melissa doesn’t just say the way out is through, she very much takes us through what that looks like. And in being so specific, I think it’s universally relatable. The final chapter is “To be, or not to be”-level work. This is mom-loss Shakespeare.” Teresa Strasser, author of Exploiting My Baby, the upcoming Making It Home, and co-host of the syndicated TV show The List
“Melissa’s book provides powerful testimony to the strength of the human spirit and our vulnerable, complicated, and yet inspirational ability to heal.” Kim Cookson, Psy.D., founder of the Trauma and Resiliency Training and Services Program at the Southern California Counseling Center
“It is the story of how one person found her way – with grief and with pain, but also with humor and grace – back to a life that would be forever different, but which couldn’t be, and wouldn’t be, anything less than purposeful and honest.” Dan Koeppel, author of To See Every Bird on Earth, Banana: The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World, and Every Minute is a Day
“The explorations of compassion are deep, Melissa’s march toward love is inspiring, and the writing is beautiful. It is a book about child loss that – at times – made me laugh out loud. I will never stop thinking about this book. And I am so glad.” Liz Friedlander, film and television director
Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/yrmuumc6
Barnes & Noble: https://tinyurl.com/mryd9z7s
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/123189454
The Writer’s Life
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