My answer is always no, I don’t feel bad about choosing to feel good. It is others who have their moral judgements about what can and cannot be pleasurable who have an issue with our hedonistic life, and we have become okay with that.
I Love that Aiden and I have the freedom to follow our desires. I love knowing that if an experience presents itself, I can act on it without trying to hide or lie to my partner. I love Aiden very much and I know he loves me but that doesn’t mean we possess each other. You see, love is not about possession. For us it is about freedom.
Once you commit to a life of pleasure and are willing to go where that takes you, you may find those closest to you passing the most judgment on you. You must be committed to feeling good and it helps to have someone who supports you.
Aiden and I believe that a spouse should encourage more independence--not less. In turn, we hope that we both attain higher levels of fulfillment and self-awareness in the process. We believe that a marriage should promote personal growth instead of limitations and restrictions.
Most married people have ownership problems. They want to totally possess their spouse, to expect monogamy, and if one partner admitted to an infidelity it would most likely be interpreted as a sign of a deteriorating marriage.
But this is absurd! A husband and wife should be able to enjoy sex with other people without threatening their primary relationship or lying or feeling guilty about their extramarital experience. Spouses should have a mutual respect for freedom, and both should feel sufficiently secure in their love to admit openly to one another that they sometimes have sex with other people.
We believe that couples should be able to have sexual relations with other people without inspiring guilt or jealousy.
The anti-sexual moralism of religious homes and schools, along with the “reactionary ideology” of governments, play a major role in producing people who want to be told what to do and are so afraid to follow their deepest desires when these desires go against what these institutions say is acceptable.
It is the people who cannot fulfill their own sexual desires who tend to regard expressions of sexuality in society as vile and degrading.
We do not downplay the courage that it takes to evolve, especially if the people closest to you want you to follow what they consider “normal” behavior. But when your desires are strong enough and you want to become greater than who/what you are then you find yourself in a place where you are not willing to allow others to keep pleasure from your life.
And for those people who never understand or can’t accept us as we are, we tell them that they should not even try to follow our lifestyle because they are not able to get the guilt and shame out of the equation.
For these people, no matter what experiences they have, they will never allow themselves to feel good because of guilt or shame. Eventually they either come to accept us as we are or like my old high school friends, they move out of our circle because I will never apologize for feeling good!
xoxo, Jade, (and Aiden) The Thriving Hedonists
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