PREGAME THOUGHTS

One of the theatrical posters for Knocked Up just showed Seth Rogen with his stupid face. At the time I thought it was the first I’m time I’d ever actually seen him, but untrue! I saw him in The 40-Year-Old Virgin two years earlier. This little anecdote is meaningless.

I never saw this movie before, but it came out right in the prime Apatow years. I expect a funny movie with touching moments and quirky characters! Nothing over-the-top. Enjoyable. Comfortable. Babies.

THE 450(ish)-WORD SYNOPSIS

Once upon a time there were two young up-and-comers! Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl), who works for E! and interviews the likes of dapper Hollywood charmer Ryan Seacrest. Ben Stone (Seth Rogen), who smokes a lot of pot with his deplorable group of friends who are all working together to start up a ripoff Mr. Skin website. A match made in heaven, these two.

Alison gets a promotion and goes to a nightclub with her sister Debbie (Leslie Mann). Ben gets no promotion whatsoever, but goes to a nightclub anyway with his deplorable group of friends. Alison and Ben meet awkwardly and drink the pants off each other. Literally. After sobering up the next morning they realize that they’re two peas from different pods and say goodbye to each other forever.

Two months later, Alison experiences morning sickness during work and pukes in a trashcan. She pees on many brands of pregnancy tests and they all point to full-of-Baby. After contacting Ben for the first time since their one-night stand, Ben is terrified but sort of kind of agrees to help support her. Alison’s mother urges her to get an abortion, but Alison decides to keep it.

Alison and Ben try to give a real relationship a try. Meanwhile, Alison is worried that she’ll get fired from E! if she starts showing, which is a legitimate concern for anyone trying to make it in the cutthroat, emotionally abusive game of Hollywood. Things go good. And they go not so good. Just like a real relationship! Alison eventually feels that Ben isn’t being very supportive, especially since her sister’s marriage model isn’t entirely happy. Debbie’s husband, Pete (Paul Rudd), has been suspiciously sneaking off at night under the guise of work. Suspecting an affair, it turns out he’s part of a fantasy baseball draft and/or going to the movies alone and/or jerking off by himself in a hotel (maybe). Debbie and Pete separate. Ben is on Pete’s side, which upsets Alison. Drama drama. Drama. Alison and Ben break up.

Pete and Ben, these two sad sacks, they travel to Vegas, get fucked up on mushrooms, and realize that they need to salvage their respective relationships. Debbie similarly has an emotional breakdown and realizes that she needs to salvage her relationship. Debbie and Pete salvage their relationship. Ben tries to get back with Alison, but Alison doesn’t wanna. Ben becomes motivated to take this baby shit seriously; reading pregnancy books, getting a real job, getting his own apartment.

Alison goes into labor while her doctor, Debbie, and Pete are out of town. As a last resort, she calls Ben. They have a very touching, tender birthing process involving a lot of reconciliation and, like, birthing pain. They have a girl, and they begin a new life.

TOM’S DISCUSSION CORNER

TOPIC 1 — Havin’ a Baby

What Knocked Up does well enough is depict the anxiety of having a baby. From a MAN’S point of view (lol), having a baby sucks. Any woman will yell at me for this, and they should, because I’m not the one pushing a watermelon through the tiny hole in my dick. But I have anxiety and you can suck it. Having a baby sucks.

STORY TIME! My second child was conceived in early November, 2019. For those of you who are keeping notes, some horny nerd in China fornicated with a diseased bat later that month and caused a pandemic that we’re all still “dealing with” (read: “ignoring”) to this very day! In mid-March, one week after the ultrasound confirmed that the baby was a girl, we were in hella lockdown. I was working from home until noon everyday, and that meant reading a lot of Stephen King and watching through the US version of Shameless. I got to Season 3. I DIGRESS. In short, I was terrified out of my goddamned mind about having a baby during a pandemic with a disease that was killing stupid old people like Herman Cain. It all worked out fine, though! Except for my crippling anxiety.

TOPIC 2 — General Movie Thoughts

It’s been so long since I actually saw the movie before writing this that I don’t remember any of it anymore! I’m sure it was great, though.

IMDb TRIVIA FUNHOUSE!

According to the DVD commentary, Jay Baruchel is terrified of roller coasters. He told Judd Apatow that he would be the naked guy in the earthquake scene if he didn’t have to ride the roller coaster. Apatow broke this deal by making Baruchel ride, so the part of the naked guy went to Jason Segel. Baruchel’s frightened reaction in the roller coaster scene is real.
The film debut of Jay Baruchel’s penis has been ripped from us unjustly. Sign my petition.

“Knocked Up” doesn’t mean anything in most languages. The film’s Russian title is “A Little Bit Pregnant.” In Brazil, it’s “Slightly Pregnant.” In Italy, it’s “Very Pregnant”. In Portugal, it’s “Bloody Bad Luck”.
In Iraq, it’s “The Crimes and Abominations of the Unmarried Harlot”. In China, it’s “Uncomfortable and Dishonored New Family”

Paul Rudd really does play Fantasy Baseball, like his character in the film.
See, this is the kind of trivia I like! This is what really gets me going! Paul Rudd is just a regular guy like you and me! He really does play Fantasy Baseball! I love this! Keep this kind of shit coming!

Katherine Heigl had to perform her sex scene with Seth Rogen two days after getting engaged.
It’s shame that Hollywood has enacted a penetration requirement in all sex scenes starting in 2004. It must make conversations about work awkward at the dinner table.

IS IT WORTH A WATCH?

I think so. It has all the familiar beats of a lighthearted Judd Apatow comedy. Realistic characters, relatable and familiar situations, awkward comedy, complex narratives, the sad and the bittersweet mixed in with the happy and the warmhearted. I was the target audience for Apatow’s movies back in his prime, so to see Knocked Up for the first time in my 30s gives me hits of nostalgia.

If Apatow ain’t your thing, then Knocked Up ain’t your thing either. Go watch Spaceballs