We’re in the dog days of summer, ladies and gentlemen. The sun is hot and the Ice Cream is cold and the sidewalk is hot and my ice cream is now melting…

But cheer up, everyone! I have three more shitty comics to vaguely make fun of before I move on with my day! I’m ordering pizza later.

Garfield

Yo, Garfield! *mic drop*

I think it speaks volumes of the current state of the 45-year-old Garfield comic strip that they are desperately trying to appeal to the hip-hop youth of today.  In this case, Garfield is wearing a backwards hat, chains, shorts, and an unmistakable scowl representing a dissatisfied and disaffected generation. Welcome to 1988.

I barely even read the actual strip. Who cares? Those donuts look terrible.

Frank and Ernest

They say that as a couple gets older they start looking more and more like each other! Frank and Ernest even buy their hats at the same store!

I understand the deep philosophical question that today’s Frank and Ernest puts forth. You can’t get there from here, because once you’re there you’re actually here again. What I don’t understand is why writer and illustrator Tom Thaves constantly decides that such serious subject matter can be considered grounds for uproarious laughter. I’m not impressed! Give me that old hag Mary Worth any day.

Mutts

Someone fucking shmurder these dogs with a shAK-47.