Respond to these rapid questions in our Ghosted Quiz and we will tell you which Ghosted character you are. Play it now.

In his Glossary of Movie Terms, Roger Ebert once famously claimed that since 1977, there hadn’t been a good film with a Cole-named character. He continued (inexplicably) by making an exception for the unquestionably awful “Days of Thunder.” I can’t say for sure if that rule has held up over time, but I have a feeling if he had lived to see “Ghosted,” he might have decided to finally retire it on the grounds that there could never be a worse example. Because of how arrogant and self-satisfied this movie is, you can almost taste the disdain that everyone engaged in its making has for the viewer. Our Cole (Chris Evans) is a farmer and agricultural historian who has a history of being unlucky in love due to his propensity to become overly intense too soon and scare people away. At a farmer’s market, he encounters the enigmatic Sadie (Ana de Armas), and the two get along splendidly throughout a lengthy date that includes everything from karaoke to a trip to the infamous steps from “The Exorcist.” Sadly, she ignores his persistent texts and emojis when he tries to get in touch with her the following day. He discovers that she is currently in London thanks to a story device that is decidedly weak, and in what he believes to be a loving act of great proportion and not a huge red flag, he chooses to fly there and surprise her. Even his parents, Tate Donovan and a really wasted Amy Sedaris, are encouraging him to continue, so this is supposed to be endearing and not at all creepy.

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After arriving, he feels he has located her, but is quickly abducted and taken to the torturer Borislov’s (Tim Blake Nelson) lair. Borislov believes Cole is The Taxman, someone who has important information that he plans to extract by the usage of murder hornets. Before it can happen, he is saved by an unknown person who is later identified as Sadie. In reality, she’s a CIA agent on the hunt for a master criminal named Leveque (Adrien Brody), who wants to get his hands on the codes to a dazzlingly lethal new super weapon so he can sell it on the black market. Since everyone believes Cole to be The Taxman, he becomes the target, and Sadie uses him as bait to bring an end to the bad guys once and for all. These codes are believed to be in the possession of The Taxman. With constant gunfire, explosions, and vehicle chases making up the majority of the plot, this sends them on an international quest to stop Leveque and perhaps save the world. But you shouldn’t waste any more time and start this Ghosted quiz. You may remember last year’s “The Gray Man,” a truly awful and totally forgettable pile of international espionage claptrap that was like watching someone else play a poor video game, but you will be infinitely happier if you don’t. Evans and de Armas co-starred in that movie, and I can’t help but wonder if they had a secret agreement to look for another similarly dull and forgettable movie. The goal was achieved. Artificial intelligence art-making programs have received a lot of attention recently, along with the possibly devastating consequences that could come from their use. Despite the fact that “Ghosted” has no fewer than four writers listed as contributors and a director in Dexter Fletcher, whose previous film “Rocketman” was among the best music biopics of recent years, it has the impression of having been produced by a machine that was more interested in following formulaic rules than in actually coming up with anything creative.

Ghosted Quiz

The aforementioned screenplay adds nothing of interest and is little more than a half-hearted rehash of films like “True Lies,” “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” “Knight and Day,” and others. “Ghosted” basically connects its replaceable action beats with worn-out characters, slack storyline, and an utter lack of wit, comedy, excitement, thrills, or even basic coherence. While the aforementioned action scenes are undoubtedly loud and large-scale, Fletcher shoots them in such a flat, disinterested manner that he makes the Coen brothers appear to have more stylistic flair than the Russo brothers. The movie includes a lot of recognizable faces in brief cameo appearances, which prove to be little more than a distraction from a movie that’s pretty much a distraction all by itself, in what I can only imagine was an effort to try to divert audiences from the predictable proceedings. Also, you will find out which character are you in this Ghosted quiz. The worst thing about “Ghosted” is, though, how little chemistry there is between Evans and de Armas. Despite the fact that both have charismatic performances and are competent actors, they fall short on all counts. It’s difficult to watch the two strive to make a connection with such poor material. The sexual tension between them is out of this world, which would be terrible enough, but the movie unintentionally highlights this fault with a running joke in which other characters advise them to get a room. According to the evidence, this might be the case, but it’s definitely going in the wrong direction. There was more heat between them in “Knives Out” than there is at any moment here, and they weren’t even trying that time.

About the quiz

“Ghosted” is a tedious exercise in pure greed and laziness that makes the assumption that if enough money and famous faces are added to the mix, no one will notice or at least care about the complete vacuity of the endeavor. By some strange coincidence, I ended up seeing this movie right after I finished watching “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret,” and as a result of that very excellent film, was in an uncharacteristically pleasant mood. That spirit of joy and optimism regarding the potential of cinema, however, had been completely destroyed by the time “Ghosted” finally dragged itself across the finish line—complete with threatening future installments. Honesty, did you even know that “The Gray Man” existed before I brought it up? At least it had the decency to be entirely forgettable. However, despite your best efforts to forget it, I have a terrible feeling that this one will stay in your mind for a very long time after you see it. Also, you must try to play this Ghosted quiz. present on Apple TV+.

For more personality quizzes check this: Breeding Difficulty Quiz.

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