Is your holiday schedule filled to the brim with parties and dinners, pageants and Gift exchanges? Then you might need to buy a few host or hostess gifts in the near future. Our gift guide has everything you need to know about when to buy a host gift, along with our 12 favorite hostess gifts for the upcoming season.

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When Do You Buy a Hostess Gift?

Sure, you don’t need to buy a hostess gift for every single party or Christmas event you attend. The best friend whose house you can head to whenever you have a problem? The parent who lets you crash on occasion? Those people maybe don’t require a hostess gift if they invite you over for a Christmas movie marathon or to swap holiday cookies.

However, if you’re invited to a more formal occasion, like a holiday dinner party, or if you’re invited to any occasion at which you want to be sure you make a good impression, plan to bring a hostess gift. You might bring a hostess gift if your friend is hosting an actual dinner party for several friends (versus just calling you up to grab takeout and veg in front of the television). You might likewise want to bring a hostess gift if you’re attending a holiday event at the home of a family member that you don’t know very well or if you’re meeting your significant other’s family for the first time.

There are a few caveats, though. A hostess gift, for example, is not expected if you’re contributing to the actual party in some way, such as by bringing a dish or chipping in for the drinks. A hostess gift is also not expected if there’s a particular event honoree, such as a birthday guy or gal; in these cases, though, you would bring a gift for the honoree. The same thing goes during the holidays; you’re already buying a holiday gift, so a separate present isn’t required.

Hostess Gift Etiquette

But just knowing when to buy a hostess gift isn’t enough to ensure a perfect gift-giving experience. You also want to follow a few rules of gift-giving etiquette.

Be discreet

Firstly, be discreet when giving your gift. Don’t bring it out at the dinner table while everyone’s gathered around. Don’t make a big deal out of it.

Instead, simply offer up your gift upon arrival as you exchange your pleasantries, and then go about with the event’s activities. If your gift is wrapped, don’t expect the host to open it right at that moment or to even use the gift that evening. They’re busy hosting, after all.

Don’t overdo the wrapping

And on the note of wrapping, don’t overdo things. This is probably not the time for a big gift bag with lots of tissue paper or balloons. Instead, if possible, maybe just add a bow to your bottle of wine, or have the gift wrapped before it’s shipped from the retailer.

Pick your gift carefully

Before you just buy a bottle of wine or a gourmet food item, though, think about the event you’re attending. You don’t want to make your recipient feel forced into using your gift right then and there. Instead, opt to buy something that your host may like, which compliments the event well, without intruding upon it — or buy something unrelated that will still be appreciated.

Additionally, don’t get too personal with a hostess gift unless you know the individual very well and even then, keep things light. This is not the time to be overly sentimental.

The 12 Best Hostess Gift Ideas for This Holiday Season

Decided that your upcoming event definitely warrants a hostess gift? Then consider one of these recommended items.

1. A Personalized Serving, Cheese Board or Charcuterie Board

While you shouldn’t typically bring food to a hosted event (which we’ll get into when we discuss the hostess gifts to avoid below), feel free to bring food-adjacent items as a host gift for your foodie friends — like this thoughtful personalized serving board, cutting board and charcuterie board, available on Etsy. The rustic board is available in five different sizes and is engraved with your host’s name or initials.

2. Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist

For a whimsical gift for that friend who both loves to read and loves drink, try this affordable hostess gift for the bar cart. This mixology book offers fun cocktail recipes based on or inspired by favorite literature, from, yes, To Kill a Mockingbird to The Picture of Dorian Grey and beyond.

3. Encyclopedia of the Exquisite: An Anecdotal History of Elegant Delights

For that host who only loves the finer things in life, this coffee table book is a must-have. It’s a little on the pricey side, as far as books go, but it’s a tome they’ll keep out and enjoy over and over again. Each encyclopedic entry features anecdotes and historical facts on everything and anything luxurious and fancy, from top hats to Champagne, divans to lingerie.

Related: 18 Great Thank You Gifts To Show Your Appreciation

4. Custom Message Shortbread Cookies

These shortbread cookies come in a lovely little gift box, which helps make it more apparent that these cookies are meant as a gift for your host and not to be shared among the party guests (though, if your host wants to pass them around at the soiree, we wouldn’t argue). The simple, sweet shortbread cookies stand apart, though, thanks to the personalized messages imprinted on each cook