Back in May of this year I introduced my first set of virtual Monster trading cards, featuring “Accidental Monsters of ‘50s Sci-fi and Horror.” I had a lot of fun creating that set, so, to celebrate the Halloween season, I decided to do a follow-up.
As every horror fan knows, it’s very hard work being a mad doctor or a blood-sucking count. There are bodies to dig up, lab equipment to move around, dusty dungeons to sweep up, and coffins to prepare for a well-earned rest. If you’re going to flout the laws of Man and God on a regular basis, you’re going to need a trustworthy, reliable henchman to sweat all the small stuff.
In most cases, we don’t get to see how the madmen or monsters recruited their Henchmen -- they’re just there; ready, willing and able to do anything the master asks. Back in the classic monster era, it must have been much harder to get good help.
| "Lift with your legs Fritz, not your back!" |
Without recruiting sites like Monster.com or LinkedIn, they had to rely on word of mouth or at best, a few lines in the local paper’s classifieds.
Wanted: Blindly loyal assistant willing to work a variety of odd jobs, including digging, hauling heavy loads, cobweb clearing, and kidnapping. Must be comfortable working in the dark. No formal education required; utmost discretion essential.
Loyal horror henchmen did not have an easy time of it. They literally labored in the shadows, often sacrificing their sanity and/or their very lives for their masters.
So this Halloween season I’m giving them their due with a series of virtual “Heinous Henchmen of Classic Horror” cards with an added bonus -- a performance evaluation straight from Hell’s HR department.
PERFORMANCE EVALUATION
LAB ASSISTANT
Name: Fritz Date: 1931
Supervisor: Dr. Frankenstein
| Category | Unsatisfactory | Satisfactory | Excellent | Comment |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Work Productivity | X | Fritz is very proficient with a shovel, and is able to scramble up tall gallows to cut down bodies. | ||
| Work Quality | X | The employee has problems with attention to detail; he recently brought back a criminal brain instead of a normal one. | ||
| Communication/ Work Relationships | X | Fritz is not an attentive listener, and he sometimes goes out of his way to antagonize the lab subjects. | ||
| Initiative | X | The employee has taken initiative to brighten up the castle with lit torches. | ||
| Dependability | X | Fritz' attendance is exemplary. |
Summary: Fritz is reliable and proficient, especially when digging up things. He needs to work on his attention to detail and his relationships with the creatures I create in the lab.
This post first appeared on Films From Beyond The Time Barrier, please read the originial post: here
