Recap of Season 3 Episode 1 of Summer House on Bravo TV
The third season of Bravo’s hit TV series, Summer House, returned on March 4th, 2019. Season 3 Episode 1
However, some of the original cast members decided not to return, including Stephen McGee and the Wirkus Twins, Lauren and Ashley.
The Summer House Opens
The first episode of season 3 begins with an updated version of the opening credits. We see the cast members navigating the hustle and bustle of New York City, as they prepare for another summer in The Hampton’s.
Kyle and Amanda arrive at the Summer House first and take a look around. Being the only true “couple” in the house, they decide to claim the upstairs master bedroom for themselves. Last season, they lost out on the master bedroom to the overbearing Lauren Wirkus, or as Kyle likes to call her “the wildebeest.”
In the next scene, Lindsay is just wrapping up a photo shoot for excessivesideboob.com and she’s on her way to pick up Danielle. Since the previous season, Lindsay and Danielle have become BFF’s. Danielle has a new job as a Tech Product Manager and is also looking forward to a wildebeest-free summer. The Berzerkus was exceptionally hard on her last season.
On the way to The Hampton’s, they give Carl (a.k.a. “Carlito”) a call to see what’s up. Carl is also in a new job and he’s working late to make sure he meets his quarterly sales quota. Carl plans to take a train later in the day.
Next, we get a peek into the drama that unfolded during the “
Lindsay claims that the group wasn’t intentionally leaving Amanda out. She just isn’t one of her close friends. Plus, I think they were all sick (or is it jealous?) of seeing Kyle and Amanda’s “perfect couple” posts all the time.
The end result, Kyle sends a 17-page novella to the group calling them out for their behavior, essentially pouring gasoline on the fire. And viola’, he magically lays the groundwork for an explosive season on Summer House.
Let the Tension Begin
At the house, Kyle and Amanda are in the midst of unpacking supplies and starting to make dinner for their first night. The next housemates to arrive are newbies Jordan, a media executive, and Hannah, a video content creator. The two work together but are definitely not a couple. As Hannah puts it, “Jordan is a sweet guy, but he’s looking for a sweet southern belle. And I’m a rachet girl from Brooklyn who speaks her mind.”
Usually, Hannah spends time with her family on Shelter Island. Unfortunately, she complains that “it’s just hard to catch some D when you’re napping on your parent’s couch all summer.” So no, Hannah is not the southern belle type.
Next to arrive is another newbie, Paige, a fashion writer, who also works with Jordan and Hannah. Jordan reveals that he’s the only straight man in an office of 20 women, and it’s heaven. Paige grew up in upstate New York in a conservative, Catholic, Italian family. She went to an all-girl school and wasn’t allowed to date when she was growing up. Her parents were horrified when they found out she would be staying in the house in the Hamptons for the entire summer. After seeing the previews for the rest of the season, I think their true horror is yet to come.
As the tension continues to build, Lindsay and Danielle finally arrive. Despite her anger over Kyle’s 17-page rant, Lindsay doesn’t want to walk in throwing punches. However, their nonchalant attitude doesn’t sit well with Amanda. She feels that they can’t simply cut her off and then act as if nothing happened.
Lindsay and Danielle start chatting with Jordan. Lindsay thinks Jordan comes off as a “douche” on his Instagram. Yet, he’s a douche with a hot body. Danielle is more than willing to overlook that to see him naked. Immediately, she demonstrates her interest with the old “hair-flip with a giggle and a bicep squeeze” technique.
Next, the group discussion turns to room choices and everyone comes to an agreement. HOWEVER, Danielle is concerned about Kyle and Amanda’s room being so close to the true “late nighters” in the group. What follows is about five minutes of complete awkwardness that nearly ends up with Paige calling her mom. Yes, it was that serious.
Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?
Half of the group gets comfortable in sweats and prepares for a quiet evening at home, while the other half gets ready to go out for dinner. At about 9:30 PM, Carl arrives at a house already divided. After saying hello, he’s forced to make a choice between staying in or going out.
Carl decides to go to dinner with the “late nighters”, which includes Hannah, Lindsay, and Danielle. The group hits the Jue Lan Club in Southampton and immediately gets started with a round of sake (aka motor oil).
After the shot, Hannah asks Carl what type of girl he likes. And, much to my surprise, Carl gives a very specific answer. He likes women who are smart, funny, good skin, athletic, and is good in bed. Danielle gives him several eye rolls because she dated Carl in the past and she’s sure that she checks off all of those boxes.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Kyle, Amanda, Jordan, and Paige sit down for a quiet evening at home. Paige could not look more bored and is sure that she picked the wrong dinner. In sharp contrast, Jordan is just fine with the “double date” setup.
Later, the late-nighters head back to the house to hit the hot tub.
Kyle gets up to check on the margarita machine, like a parent checking on a baby in the middle of the night. As he’s getting back into bed, Amanda shares a bit of wisdom, “You can tell how old you are by how much your balls sag.” Dear Bravo, please upgrade your video pixelation capabilities.
Hot Tub Revelations
Hannah, Danielle, Lindsay and Lindsay’s widely separated boobs get in the hot tub. They start chatting about Kyle and Lindsay drops a bombshell. She says Kyle cheated on Amanda with another woman and that’s the reason she unfollowed Amanda. Wait, what?
Day 2 Begins
As the second day begins, Carl and Kyle catch up for a chat on the back porch. The two share their thoughts on Hannah and Paige. Admirably, Carl shares that he is trying to turn over a new leaf and no longer wants to be someone’s “f*ckboy.
while Hannah and Paige decide who’s hot and who’s not. Hannah mentions that she finds Carl very easy to flirt with. Then, she asks Paige “would would she rather f*ck, Carl or Jordan?” Paige was so shocked by the bluntness of her question that she couldn’t even answer. Clearly, she is uncomfortable with openly talking about sex, while Hannah is on the opposite end of the spectrum.
Hannah and Jordan hit the tennis court for a quick game. Here, we find out that Hannah group up playing tennis and almost went pro. At one point she was ranked 15 i the nation and 250 in the world. Very impressive! During the game, she shares what just might be the quote of the episode:
“I feel free this summer. I can do whatever I want. I can stay in and do light reading. Or, I can go out and grind on random dudes until 4 am. The summer is my oyster.”
In the next scene, Carl decides to run to the store. Paige decides to tag along as well. On the way to the store, Carl and Paige get to know each other a bit. Carl reveals that page is exactly the type that he goes for, but he doesn’t necessarily want to get in her pants.
Hannah and Danielle are back in the hot tub and they invite Jordan to join. In the interview segment, Danielle shares the other quote of the episode, “I work really hard during the week, so I can get to The Hampton’s on the weekend and get after it. And that means getting after, you know, dick.” And then Lionel Richie steps in and sings, “Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady.”
Next, everyone gets ready and heads to a local restaurant for dinner. On the way, Lindsay acknowledges that there is some drama that needs to be resolved. Yet, after the group gets seated, she immediately provokes Kyle with a comment, “How do you feel about commitment now?” Immediately, this changes the tone for the evening.
After a moment of awkward silence, Lindsay decides to cover the Summer House Rules. After that discussion, Hannah throws out the question, “Who’s your favorite new person?” Lindsay takes it upon herself to give the following backhanded compliments to Jordan, Hannah
- “Jordan, I thought you were a douche but you’re actually not.”
- “Hannah, you’re more sarcastic than I’ve ever experienced.”
- “Paige, you are way more genuine than you come across.”
You’re the Elephant in the Room
After that train wreck, Danielle shovels on the praise to all three of the new people, which actually feels like its a jab at Kyle and Amanda. She said that she would like the opportunity to address the drama between them separately. To which Kyle responds, “I basically said everything I had to say in my email, which was unanswered.” Here we go
Before things get out of control, Carl attempts to step in and squash the conversation. It’s just not the time or place. As a result, he and Danielle begin to exchange words. Danielle says, “I’m just trying to address the elephant in the room.” Then, Carl replies, “Right now, you’re the elephant in the room.” Then, Kyle adds, “Danielle, you’re f*cking bonkers tonight.”
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