Episode 12 of Southern Charm’s fifth season begins with Naomie taking a boxing class at the gym. When Kathryn doesn’t show up, Naomie becomes concerned. She makes a few calls and learns that nobody has heard from her in a few days.

Shep and Austin meet to catch up over lunch, and a few beers, of course. Austin shares that his parents plan to invest in his Beer business. He also shares that he and Victoria got into an argument after his beer launch party, after Austin shares that he picked up Chelsie and gave her a big hug.” Things got so heated that Victoria through a drink at him, and he told her to leave. Afterward, Austin blocked her to send a clear message that it’s over between them.

Ashley visits Patricia for relationship advice. The true beauty of this scene is when Patricia rings her bell and Michael the butler comes running. Patricia orders two “medicinal drinks”, a Hot Totty and a Martini. Despite Ashley’s fragile emotional state, Patricia doesn’t give her the validation and support she’s looking for. Patricia simply gives her the hard truth. She tells Ashley to keep quiet, let Thomas be Thomas, and learn how to accept Kathryn being in their life.

Naomie stops by for a chat with Chelsie and lets her know that Kathryn is MIA. They chat about Austin’s beer party, and they both admit that they love the beer. Go Austin! Chelsie mentions that Cam has invited everyone to come to see her new baby, Palmer, but everyone has to get a flu shot first. Craig told Chelsie he wouldn’t do it because he is afraid of “having to walk backward for the rest of his life because of some crazy government shot.” (Craig, you must be a smart guy for getting a law degree, but statements like this make it seem like you’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal).

In the next scene Cameran, Whitney and Shep meet at Smoke BBQ for lunch. Cameran is so clearly happy to be out! Cam shares the challenges of breastfeeding. She makes both of them do a shot of her breast milk and the two have very different reactions. Whitney spits it all over the place the same way he jokingly spits out Austin’s beer. And Shep actually likes it. Cam gets the scoop about what’s been going on with Thomas and Ashley, Craig, and others. She also shares that her vajayjay is doing just fine.

Craig meets his friend Warren (from law school) for a few drinks and to catch up. Warren asks Craig a question that is on everyone’s mind, “Do you want to pursue a career as an attorney?” Craig’s response is that he doesn’t want to work for anyone. When Warren presses him further, he finds out that Craig is currently sewing pillows. Really? Yes. Sewing pillows. Craig shows Warren a sample of his work, and Warren (THANK GOD!) gives him an honest response and tells him it is “awful” and there is no way Patricia is going to sell it. Craig used clipart to design the samples and they look amateur at best. Warren was trying to do him a favor and prevent him from embarrassing himself in front of Patricia, but Craig disregarded his advice.

In the next scene, Thomas Ravenel wakes up the kids and starts making breakfast. In the interview portion, he speaks highly about the progress he has seen in Kathryn. He says she has made a transition to becoming a real woman with a real heart. He talks briefly about the challenges he is having in his relationship with Ashley. He makes it clear that his focus right now is on his kids and getting along with their mother.

Naomie and Danni decide to drive over to Kathryn’s house to make sure she is ok. The knock on the door to her apartment but nobody answers. They go to the management office and the manager does a wellness check. The manager confirms that Kathryn is, in fact, in her apartment and she is alive.

In the next scene, Craig is at home practicing flower arranging, with an injured hand. It is as if Craig is reading a playbook on how to be a more cultured person. Patricia calls and asks Craig to come over in the next hour and show her the designs for the pillows. Then, Craig spends the next several hours throwing together some one-handed clipart designs for the pillows. He arrives at Patricia’s and she makes it clear that his time is up. She said that he had two weeks to design the pillows and it had been two months.

Craig spent far too much time telling everyone that Patricia was giving him the opportunity to design pillows for her, but no real-time actually designing them. When he reveals his concepts, he also mentions that he used stencils that he found on the internet. Patrica makes it clear that she’s looking for something original that doesn’t look like clipart. Craig comes across as an unprepared child in this scene. He didn’t deliver in the expected time frame, his designs were not up to par with Patricia’s expectations, and he had absolutely no confidence in himself to back up his decisions. As a result, Patricia squashes the project.

Next, Naomie hosts a girl party at her house with a masseuse and a manicurist for the girls. Chelsie shows up with a carload of food. Danni and Cam show up and the girls relax and get pampered for a while.

(43 Minutes, TV14)

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