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2023-03-27 17:33
Oh, look who it is! Mr. “I’m too good to practice mini-golfing while I’m on the highway during rush hour traffic.” Mr. “I can’t be bothered figuring out h… Read More
2022-10-28 13:53
Ohhhh – look who it is. A fancy pants internet surfer who just beached themselves on the shore of the Sarcasm Dictionary. Good for you. It must take a lot of brains to get lost on an a… Read More
2022-10-27 14:44
My name is Cornelius J. Feline and I have a tale I’d like to tell you about what it’s like being a cat. That’s right – I’m a cat. A cat who has always wanted mo… Read More
2022-10-27 14:13
Remember the days of just sitting on a screen, endlessly browsing content that you didn’t create until your thumb was sunburned from so much screen light? NO MORE! Make the decision to… Read More
2022-10-26 16:14
Time to take aim at your caffeine intake, buckaroo. We see you sitting there. Lifeless. Listless. Bored. So empty. No energy, no reason to even move your body. Ugh.  The good news is, t… Read More
2022-08-28 19:27
Sir Edward Toot’s lasting mark, or shall we say, sound on the human race is this wonderful fart button sound generator. A button that makes over 20 absolutely ridiculous, hilarious and… Read More
2022-08-27 22:48
Need a good golf prank? We’ve got your ace in the hole, baby! Introducing: the exploding golf ball Now is the time to seek sweet, sweet revenge on that buddy of yours who thinks he&rsq&hell…Read More
2022-06-16 14:25
The bubble gun blaster of your dreams has arrived, and this thing is a beauty. This bad boy is blasting out 2,000 bubbles per minute. PER MINUTE. So hold on to your wig, because this thing i… Read More
2022-04-08 22:12
Did you know that up to 60% of the human body is made up of water? That’s legit. It’s true. It’s the truthiest truth of them all. Which means only one thing: you need to dr… Read More
2022-03-20 17:09
Marvinious Ketchup Jr. was exceptionally proud of his tomato farm. In fact, he was so proud of his tomatoes, that he used them for everything. Yes, literally everything. Breakfast was a toma… Read More
2022-03-09 23:36
Hear ye, hear ye! Gather round men, women and children of all ages! We are proud to introduce the spikiest, greenest, meanest, water dwelling lizard this side of the Mississippi! Forget abou… Read More
2022-03-02 22:23
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, people of all ages! May we introduce you to…the future! A future that is bright, bold, beautiful – and stunningly within reach today! My na… Read More
2022-02-07 16:55
Historically, there has always been major problems with flip-flops. They either flip or they flop. Here’s what is the worst about that: both words are terrible. No one uses “flip… Read More
2021-12-01 14:25
Deep in the woods of one of the planet’s most difficult to traverse landscapes lay a battle fortress unlike anything you have ever seen. It’s big. It’s bold. It houses the… Read More
2021-11-22 19:46
Ever heard of vitamin patches for energy? Well, buckle up and hold on tight because there’s about to be an energy blast through your body that will make anything possible. Yes, literal… Read More
2021-10-20 02:15
Have you ever sat on the toilet and thought to yourself…“Whilst I am currently enjoying myself and this wonderful seat, I certainly wouldn’t mind some thunderous theme mus… Read More
2021-10-20 00:36
Dude – Jacques Cousteau would be rolling over in his coral reef condo right now if he knew about this SMACO Scuba Tank. Remember back in the day when you used to have to wheel a thousa… Read More
2021-07-09 18:03
Let’s sit down and talk for a minute. Serious talk. It’s time to kick things up a notch in that pick-up truck of yours which lacks a truck bed pool. Let’s face it: you&rsqu&hell…Read More
2021-05-07 21:32
Let’s be real. Dad jokes are all the rage. As a matter of fact, a bad Dad joke can cause an insurmountable amount of rage. Which is a very good thing. The worse the joke, the better it… Read More
2021-05-05 04:09
Did you know… That in order to poop like the champion you really are, you should be eating a trillion grams of fiber every day? Though this statement is not true at all, it does make… Read More
2021-04-11 22:13
Deep in the caves of the Himalayas lived one of the wisest, most well respected men in the history of civilization. Arnold Windbreaker, inventor of the Whoopee Cushions. Sure, you may think… Read More
2021-02-22 17:34
You’re not still using the voice you were born with are you? Yikes…Did you know that 99.999% of the world uses a synthesized voice? Wait a second. You’re that one person w… Read More
2021-02-13 02:35
Are you tired of children running all around constantly bothering you? You’re an adult, you should be doing awesome stuff like drinking too much, chopping wood or wildly just kicking a… Read More
2021-02-07 18:17
Many very intellectually advanced people in America have high praise for the wonderfully captivating and famous television star Captain Kangaroo. If you’re unfamiliar, first, let us we… Read More
2021-01-31 15:51
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF JERK THAT JUST HAS REGULAR PICKLES THAT DON’T YODLE? Man oh man, what an embarrassment you are. Look, we didn’t want to have to start off this way, but… Read More
2021-01-31 15:51
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF JERK THAT JUST HAS REGULAR PICKLES? Man oh man, what an embarrassment you are. Look, we didn’t want to have to start off this way, but come on. You’re… Read More
2020-12-21 00:36
Many people think “Gosh, I am completely useless.” These people spend their days in a constant haze of activity, never truly getting anything done. By the end of the day, they&rs&hell…Read More
2020-12-15 18:00
Listen up chubs, chocolate isn’t just for breakfast anymore. Now you can have it before breakfast, too. Hot damn! Are you still dreaming? Nope, this is as real as it gets.  Chocol… Read More
2020-12-06 00:12
Congratulations! It’s a new baby! As opposed to an old baby, which, let’s be honest would be super weird. Last thing your lady friend would want is to give birth to an 86 year ol… Read More
2020-12-05 21:17
Buckle up and get ready for the gaming chair rig you’ve been dreaming about your entire life. Yup, your entire life. We know you sit there on your uncomfortable gaming chair. It’… Read More
2020-11-26 01:05
To fully understand this scented hand sanitizer, let’s begin with Sir Arthur Q. Stink of the British Isles, who issued a proclamation in 1768 which reads as follows: “To the Men… Read More
2020-11-19 16:46
Start your day the right way with the Wake & Bake Dream Griddle Alarm Clock, by Darby McKingons. If you didn’t know, Darby McKingons is widely respected as the World Record holder… Read More
2020-11-17 02:52
It’s the future, dude – nobody should have to stand when they can sit. Therefore; we formally announce the world’s greatest device: The Wearable Chair (as seen on Silicon V… Read More
2020-10-07 21:56
You seem stressed out a little bit lately, is everything OK? Come on, why are you so anxious? Seems Like You May Need an Electric Head Massager… I mean, it’s not like we’r… Read More
2020-10-06 16:52
If there was one state in the United States of America that matters, we can all agree that it’s Florida. As a matter of fact, Florida is the breeding ground for a superior type of huma… Read More
2020-10-03 17:23
You have a filthy mind, and we’re not even sure we’re going to continue with this product description until we make one thing clear. THIS BOOK IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK IT&rsqu&hell…Read More
2020-09-29 01:42
Imagine if you could have a personal “hype-man” follow you around like you were a celebrity rapper. Somebody to follow you around all day every day just shouting about how great… Read More
2020-09-25 23:41
If you still think the archaic “That Was Easy” button has any relevance in today’s world, you’ve got another thing coming, Mister (or Miss. Or Ms. Or Mrs. ). That thi… Read More
2020-09-23 19:07
Meet Mister Chubbles, the cat that makes other cats look lazy. Have you ever heard of a cat that earns enough money to pay the mortgage on a nice, mid-sized starter home? How about a cat tha… Read More
2020-09-21 00:40
Ditch the house, dude – it’s time to start camping like a champion. Sell the house, drop the mortgage, the electric bill, the gas bill, the water bill, the taxes. All that nonsen… Read More
2020-09-20 00:35
If there is one thing every child on earth can agree on, it’s the straight up fact that they all would prefer to be hamsters than human beings. Children from every state, country and c… Read More
2020-08-09 14:54
The unscented middle finger candle allows you to flip the bird with grace and assertiveness. A great centerpiece to have at home to burn for fun at your friend! The post The Middle Finger Ca… Read More
2020-06-04 11:34
Since you can’t physically consume fried chicken in your sleep (we’ve field tested several times, no luck), we found the next best thing: a fried chicken pillow The post The Frie… Read More
2020-06-03 11:38
“Crazy James the Screamin’ Goat” is what his family, friends, neighbors and every farmer east of the Mississippi call him. What they don’t know is the real reason he… Read More
2020-06-02 14:27
Whoever told you money doesn’t grow on trees is wrong. Money does grow on trees. In fact, it’s now easy to grow money wherever you want with the money printer! The post The Cash… Read More
2020-06-02 12:53
The NERD SQUAD has officially blown open its doors and is welcoming new members who can fall in line with what it means to be the nerdiest of nerds. Fortunately, if you’re not quite pr… Read More
2020-05-31 15:32
Make your dog feel like Superman with this dog outfit perfect for your little superhero. Available in multiple sizes, all with the same outcome: awesomeness. The post The Superman Dog Costum… Read More
2020-05-31 14:31
Simply put your pet's paw on the crystal ball and the powers within will illuminate the orb to show you a lifelike, 3D picture of what your animal is thinking. We’ll be…Read More
2020-05-31 12:40
Thankfully the universe has heard our plea, and now, we can all live life fully. Fully charged, just like BB8 droid should be, he can follow you around & listen The post The Real BB8 Dro… Read More
2020-05-12 13:05
Introducing the most epic product of all time: a real lightsaber. Pick your jaw up off the ground. We know. We know. It’s out of control awesome. The post The Star Wars Lightsaber appe… Read More
2020-05-04 12:22
If you want to feel like you’re drunk without having to drink a 12 pack of cheap beer, three shots of cinnamon whiskey and a test tube of something green that was sold to you on a plat… Read More
2020-05-04 12:22
If you want to feel like you’re drunk without having to drink a 12 pack of cheap beer, three shots of cinnamon whiskey and a test tube of something green that was sold to you on a plat… Read More
2020-05-04 01:43
This kit has everything you need to pull pranks, survive in the wilderness & more. Fuel can, matches, logs, fire pit. You’ll have it made. With a kit like this, you’ll have n… Read More
2020-04-25 00:16
3D murals are the straw that stirs the drink of life. Do you want to make a drink, or do you want to sit there like some one dimensional lump of a human being? The post Realistic 3d Wall Dec… Read More
2020-04-16 01:49
What’s the story behind the temporary tattoo printer anyways? Well, it all started like this… Date: Sunday, April 19th  Time: 3:13am Place: Carl’s Ink & Stink The… Read More
2020-04-13 18:48
2020-04-11 16:40
What's a Handy Hand, you ask? Oh buddy do you have a lot to discover. Imagine a hand, that's like yours, but, it's not - it's a helping extension that does all The post The Handy Hand appear… Read More
2020-04-11 15:21
Have you been wondering if there's a toy that will keep your dog busy all day? Well, it's here: The iDig dog digging toy - you have to see it to believe it... The post The iDig Dog Digging T… Read More
2020-03-27 00:52
Say goodbye to costly toilet paper…forever! Did you know that the average human being spends 97.3%* of their life on the toilet? As the epicenter of home entertainment, the toilet is… Read More
2020-03-21 15:19
You pull. And rip. And tear. AND NOTHING HAPPENS. Not great. For YOU have been victim to one of the greatest pranks ever to have been bestowed upon the crap shack: No-Tear Toilet Paper The p… Read More
2020-03-21 15:19
You pull. And rip. And tear. AND NOTHING HAPPENS. Not great. For YOU have been victim to one of the greatest pranks ever to have been bestowed upon the crap shack: No-Tear Toilet Paper The p… Read More
2020-03-17 19:12
Your pets new favorite pastime. This unique contraption works for both dogs and cats, and, they love it! It's kinda like giving kids an iPad... great to free up your time The post The Pet Sw… Read More
2020-03-17 00:53
Have you ever wondered how to appropriately pay someone back for something they’ve given you or something they’ve done for you? The post The Raincheck appeared first on Define Aw… Read More
2020-03-07 14:50
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “You know, I’d like to own an alien one day,” you are about to hit the jackpot: baby yoda. We proudly introduce you to an alien. We&r&hell…Read More
2020-03-07 14:50
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “You know, I’d like to own an alien one day,” you are about to hit the jackpot: baby yoda. We proudly introduce you to an alien. We&r&hell…Read More
2020-03-07 13:52
At some point over the last decade, toilet timers have revealed that our time in the bathroom has increased exponentially. What are we doing there? Showering more effectively? Shaving more i… Read More
2020-03-05 14:46
Your digital footprint is an absolute horror show. We know it, you know it, and the world at large could know it if you’re not careful... The post The Shred Cube appeared first on Defi… Read More
2020-02-13 12:36
With the technological advances of the last decade apparent, it has always stunned the universe that there was not an easier way to access the simple pleasures of WiFi. A brief look back at… Read More
Microwave Bowl Huggers
2020-02-01 20:28
The post Microwave Bowl Huggers appeared first on Define Awesome. Discover More About Microwave Bowl Huggers at Define Awesome Read More
2020-02-01 17:26
Hello, my name is Chuck Norris, and I’m here to tell you about this fancy little book a good friend of mine named Ian Spector wrote called: “The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Fac… Read More
400 Facts About Chuck Norris
2020-02-01 17:26
The post 400 Facts About Chuck Norris appeared first on Define Awesome. Discover More About 400 Facts About Chuck Norris at Define Awesome Read More
Cannabis Scent Perfume
2020-02-01 17:11
The post Cannabis Scent Perfume appeared first on Define Awesome. Discover More About Cannabis Scent Perfume at Define Awesome Read More
2019-12-12 14:24
2020 is going to a magnificent year filled with technological marvels that were unimaginable just a decade ago. Thanks to the internet, our planet is now more connected than ever.  Futu… Read More
2019-12-02 18:29
Justice is served every time you play this robot vs. robot game - because there’s a winner. One winner. Not some lame modern-day version of a winner, like, “Oh, you tried your be… Read More
2019-12-02 17:53
Does it smell like success in here, or is it just my underarms wafting the odor of a winner? Yup, it’s definitely me. It’s not you, and your weird little parking routine that mak… Read More
2019-11-29 15:20
With all deez holidayz around the corner, isn’t it time you treat yourself to some gold plated grillz for that wonderfully pretty smile of yours? Let’s cut right to the chase: yo… Read More
2019-11-25 20:27
It goes without saying that there are numerous benefits to being passive-aggressive in your dealings with other people (also known as “simpletons”). The issue with simpletons is… Read More
2019-11-23 15:19
Let everyone who even dares pick up one of your writing instruments know that YOU MEAN BUSINESS and also subtly that YOU MAY HAVE AN INFECTIOUS DISEASE. The post Lend-a-Pen: Funny Pens Nobod… Read More
2019-11-20 22:41
Please take a moment to reflect on the wonderful prose from, classically trained popular music star of the 1980’s, Kendall “Rockwell” Gordy as he sang in his 1984 smash hit… Read More
2019-11-20 01:56
Looking to get cozy this winter? These Slippers can be warmed up in the microwave. They can also, if you should ever desire, even be placed in the freezer to cool down. The post Microwaveabl… Read More
2019-11-16 12:43
Pillow fights first came into prominence in the royalty circle of Richard the Lionheart in 1189. Sure, you’re reading this like, “Yeah, dude, I know He was the son of Duke Robert… Read More
2019-11-13 00:46
Clocky is the original runaway alarm clock on wheels that helps you get up and go with some extra pep in your step! Clocky rolls! Clocky runs! You’ve got to catch Clocky to turn off yo… Read More
2019-11-13 00:05
Oh, you’re a fancy gentleman, aren’t you?! Wonderful! What a wonderful existence it must be! You spend your mornings in a luxurious bathrobe, likely being given a world-class mas… Read More
2019-11-09 15:13
PASADENA, CALIFORNIA: July 2019 Pasadena Times Headline: BABY IN A TORTILLA BLANKET BURRITO PHOTOSHOOT CAUSES UPROAR WITH LOCAL COMMUNITY The reason? What a disaster. Who was the creator who… Read More
2019-11-05 14:12
MY NAME IS PRISON MIKE. THEY CALL ME PRISON MIKE BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN PRISON. AND MY NAME IS MIKE. You think it’s all fancy dances and handshakes in prison? Because let me tell y… Read More
2019-11-05 02:05
In the Autumn of 1916, a man named Barnaby J. Minkles stumbled upon a prank so lively, so wonderful and so outrageous, he was regarded as one of the foremost prank masters of the twentieth c… Read More
2019-10-29 13:08
Ugh. The grind of the workweek. You’re up and at’ em every day, and you’re working your tail off for the man. By the time the end of the week arrives, it’s all about… Read More
2019-10-28 12:42
Love offering your guests tissues, but also wish those tissues could be delivered via the business end of a cat? Well, you’re in luck! This cat butt tissue holder is the product of you… Read More
2019-10-27 14:33
The Cell Phone Jail: The world’s smallest jail cell for your overzealous cell phone usage is not quite what it seems. Imagine the jungles of Africa, 1981. Hot, dry, unexplored. America… Read More
2019-10-25 19:16
Roll up to the party like, “ANYONE WANT A TASTE OF MY BACON SODA?” Utter such a phrase and the party guests will immediately turn into putty in your fingers. Mold them, dear frie… Read More
2019-10-23 22:17
NASA has been very clear: “On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong was the first human to walk on the moon.” What NASA has conveniently omitted, in their account of moon landings and sp… Read More
2019-10-23 21:35
LOOK AT YOU ONLY USING ONE SCREEN LIKE A CHUMP. “Oh, bro, you don’t get it, dude, I’m on my laptop bro, it’s only got one screen man.” GROW-UP, SON. IT’S… Read More
2019-10-23 00:14
The year is 2037. The World Chip Organization has stepped into the spotlight and will be featured, for the first time ever, in the Olympic Games. The challenge: Who can eat the most amount o… Read More
2019-10-22 23:40
Ever heard of Baxter Umbrella? Not to spoil the story, but let’s get right to it: he’s the inventor of the umbrella backpack. But do you know why he invented the umbrella? Let&rs&hell…Read More

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