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10 Rules for a Happy Marriage

It’s no secret that relationships take work. It’s also no secret that most people want to have and maintain a happy, healthy Marriage. To help you grow within yours, for better and for worse,

we’ve rounded up 10 of the best partnership tips from psychologists and counselors. From understanding finances to saying ‘I Love you’ in a way that matters, they’ve provided some awesome advice that’ll help you stay together forever.

10. Be best friends

Dr. Phil also says couples should be good friends. “The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.” Being totally connected is just one sign you’ve found the one.

9. Don’t be negative

Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? Why Her?: How to Find and Keep Lasting Love, says “When you begin to feel irritated at your partner, instead of reviewing everything you don’t like, turn your thoughts to all the good things about him or her.” The most enduring marriages are the ones where people talk about what they like about someone instead of dislike.

8. Say nice things

Relationship expert Terri Orbuch says complimenting each other on the regular will go a long way to increase your happiness as a duo. “Compliments, help and support, encouragement and subtle nonsexual rewards, such as hand-holding [all go a long way]… Men crave affective affirmation more than women because women typically get it from people other than their husbands.”

7.Do date night

“Early on in a relationship couples talk as friends, they do fun things,” says Howard Markham, co-author of Fighting for Your Marriage. “But over time, those ways of connecting change.” His tip? Spend plenty of time alone together, so you can connect like you did when you were first dating. These date night ideas will keep you warm all winter.

6.Go your own way

After 39 years of being happily married, Dr. Phil says couples need to find their own path to happiness. “There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it’s not working and be honest when it needs fixing.” If you suspect your partner is being unfaithful, don’t ignore the warning signs. Here are the top 19 ways to tell if someone is cheating on you

5.Focus on the little things

“We know from marriage and divorce research that it’s the everyday things — having fun, connecting, and showing you care — that make or break a marriage,” says Debra Castaldo, author of Gifts of Love. So think about the little things you can do to make your love happy on a daily basis.

4.Practice the 5-to-1 rule

Don’t know what the 5-to-1 rule is? Here’s a short synopsis: “In stable marriages, there are at least five times more positive interactions than negative ones. When the ratio starts to drop, the marriage is at high risk for divorce. In real life, no couple can keep a running tally of positive and negative displays.

There are hundreds of them that happen… For every snide comment or negative outburst in a marriage, a person needs to ramp up the positives so the good-to-bad ratio doesn’t fall to a risky level.

3.Celebrate!

“We’ve found that [celebrating the] positives are more and more important,” says Howard Markman, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver and a leading marriage researcher. “It turns out that the amount of fun couples have and the strength of their friendships are a strong predictor of their future.”

2.Express your needs

“We advise couples to practice telling each other what they are feeling and what they need,” says John Gottman, world-renowned researcher and co-author of 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. “Even if such expression brings conflicts to the surface.” This will increase trust between partners.

1.Show your love in a way that matters

“Some people say ‘I love you’ and some people will show ‘I love you’ — make sure that your partner understands your message, and work out what you both need then try to accommodate each other,” says psychologist Meredith Fuller on kidspot.com.au.

The post 10 Rules for a Happy Marriage appeared first on Edmonton Gazette.



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