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61 People Share The Dumbest Or Weirdest Things A Doctor Casually Told Them

In 2021, Ipsos surveyed people across 28 countries, asking the public how much they trust different professions. An average of 64% rated doctors as trustworthy, which put them in first place, ahead of scientists (61%) and teachers (55%).

However, Reddit user CR24752 was interested in the remaining 36 percent, so they asked everyone else on the platform, "What's the weirdest thing a medical professional has casually said to you?"

Their post immediately took off and in just a few days, it has received over 14,000 comments. We thought you would also be interested in the discussion, but to save you some precious time, we went through all the answers and compiled the most memorable ones.

#1

My surgeon, during surgery to replace pins in my broken finger that had been pushed out by my own body - "I'm really getting them in there this time, you little freak of nature."

Image credits: Anarchysparky12

#2

When my girlfriend was in the ICU one of the nurses sorta shrugged and said dismissively "she's gonna die anyhow."

She should have. Her kidneys had shut completely down and she was so swollen that her tongue wouldn't fit in her mouth. We were making the decision whether to continue life support or not. She didn't die. A month and a half later she walked out of the hospital and into my car for the ride home.

Image credits: MichiganGeezer

#3

I had a doctor tell me that my metabolism is so slow that I would do very well in an apocalypse

Image credits: Rosemary324

#4

This is no joke. I had a medical professional say, " I used to be an addict so i'm pretty good at this." As she was putting in my IV lmfao, I laughed so hard.

Image credits: Lexi_wilder69

#5

I am constantly anemic and when my doc was putting my IUD in I bled a little and he said, "no! Not your precious iron!"

#6

When I was like 20, my endocrinologist took a good look at me and asked "are you okay with your face being so asymmetrical?"

I had never really noticed it before, but boy have I noticed it since!

Image credits: Fragrant-Opinion2021

#7

Back pain, I’m not young. Doctor just said basically “Well, that’s just life for you. You’re tall.”

“So I’m just going to end up being a hunched over 90 year old?”

“Lol, you’re not going to see 90.”

“Um…pardon?”

“How many tall old people have you ever seen?”

“Oh…yeah…ok.”

Image credits: The_Town_of_Canada

#8

I go to urgent care because I have an ear ache and may have an ear infection. The nurse asks if I'm on any medication and I tell her about my IUD. She says:

"I could never have an IUD or even take birth control. You know, since that's murder and all. But hey, do whatever makes you happy."

ETA I did report her and she did get in trouble.

#9

My previous OBGYN came through my line at my old job. For some reason I blanked on who he was. Like I knew I knew him, but for the life of me I couldn't remember how. He saw I was struggling and said "Don't remember me? I'll give you a hint: last time I saw you you were in my office with your ankles in the air!"

Loudly, in front of a line of little old ladies fresh from church, wanting to buy flowers from the garden center.

He was an amazing doc and figured out what was wrong with me when no other doc could, but in that moment the embarrassment could have killed me lol

Image credits: Marauder424

#10

Not me, but Mom. She's in remission for a non-Hodgkins lymphoma that invaded her brain. She was getting a scan to confirm the cancer had left her brainpan and the doctor came in and said "Good news! We've scanned your brain and confirm that there's nothing in there!"

Image credits: imgrandojjo

#11

After destroying my knee riding bmx at 17, the emergency surgeon said “wow, really f****d that up.”

10 years later and another serious knee injury from riding, I saw the same surgeon (he did a great job on the first one). First words out of his mouth were “I remember you. F****d up the other one, huh?”

#12

I live in Ireland, the surgeon who replaced my hip is also a farmer. The day before I was due to be discharged he came in on his rounds, he said “I may or may not see you tomorrow, it depends on the dog”, so I said “ok what’s up with the dog?” He told me the dog broke his leg and was having it set tomorrow but he wasn’t sure what time so I said “shur bring in the oul dog and I’ll mind him” (this is rural Ireland bear in mind and I was in the convalescent area of the hospital by then) and shortly after breakfast he arrived in, with the dog, lovely border collie with his leg in plaster, he stayed with me watching tv till the doc was finished replacing another hip and was ready to discharge me and we could all go home. It could only happen in Ireland.

#13

"This is the part where all your dignity goes out the window. I'm going to tape your penis to your abdomen."

#14

My son is about your age and single, do you want his number?

- Gynecologist

Image credits: My_dal

#15

"If you ever tried to have a baby, the kid would snap your pelvis in two and rip you in half." Said by my gynaecological surgeon. He said it in the most casual manner. I was mortified!

ETA: Thank goodness I was there to get a hysterectomy, haha!

Image credits: TheBadKneesBandit

#16

following a checkup..."we're going to have to remove your testicles....just kidding, you should've seen your face"

Image credits: realpren

#17

You can't use antidepressants forever.

Well i've been very depressed forever, so what do I do kill myself?

#18

I told an OBGYN during an exam my husband and I had just started trying to get pregnant and she said “Are you tracking your cycle or just f*****g all time?”
-Hearing that come out of a small elderly black woman was freaking hilarious!!! She was close to retirement and had zero filter, miss her! ?

#19

Was living in a foreign country and had a cold / flu type illness. Went to the doc and he comes in eating a bowl of cereal. Already weird. Checks some things and says “do you know what AIDS is”? I’m in complete shock and say yes, I do. He follows up with “It’s a virus and there is no cure”. Goes on to explain why there is no cure, all while I’m seeing my life over as I know it. Finally ends with, “but you don’t have that virus, you have a different one, much more common and treatable but I wanted you to understand why an antibiotic wouldn’t work”.

Still in shock I’m like so I don’t have AIDS then right? He goes, no and walks out.

What a roller coaster.

EDIT: This was in Switzerland about 15 years ago and I’m American.

Yes, he was slurping his cereal the whole time.

EDIT 2: He did explain the difference between HIV & AIDS. Guess he just wanted to come in hot and get my attention.

Thanks all.

Image credits: Tacolife973

#20

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to show everyone pictures of your tonsils.”

According to her, I had the most disgusting tonsils she had ever seen in her years in the business, and gosh darn she wanted to show them off.

Image credits: Old_Army90

#21

I was 18 at the time and went to the family doctor that brought me into the world. The reason was I was having great pain urinating and was leaking a pus like substance. After getting a shot I went to his office, I sat down and he lit a Winston, rocked back in his chair whilst taking a big drag and said, "I am going to talk to you like a Dutch uncle, if you do not know if it is clean, keep your goddamned zipper zipped up."

#22

I asked my cardiologist I had growing up what the goop was they put on before echoes... he said, "Yak snot." I believed him for way too long

Image credits: breadclipp

#23

Dr: “you look great! How did you lose weight?”
Son: “eating disorder; anorexia”
Dr. “Well keep doing whatever you are doing, it’s working great!”

Image credits: Julietjane01

#24

When I was 12 I had a dentist say "Hold on I think I might be counting wrong, you shouldn't have those yet... okay never mind those are definitely your wisdom teeth. Your mouth is just huge I guess." They said it was the youngest they've ever seen anyone get their wisdom teeth. They called in every dentist in the building to come look at my mouth.

Image credits: kodlab115

#25

Male gyno looked at me, smirked and said 'look at you laying there all coy' before he stuck his fingers up the business end for far too long. I was terrified and froze.

I lodged a complaint and got a pathetic reply back. There are no female gynos in my area.

#26

Things I have heard during pelvic exams:

*”s**t.”

*”wow.”

*”okay, you’re a girl.”

Bear in mind I am a normal, healthy, cisgender woman with the regular parts in the regular places. I have just had some whacky doctors.

edited formatting

edit 2 so glad one of my highest rated comments is about my vag

#27

My obgyn was about to start sewing me up after a c section when she noticed a cyst on my ovary. She told me it had caused enough torsion to twist it down and start growing to my uterus, the said to my husband "look at how twisted this is. Don't worry, this will only take a second, and I won't charge for it." while proudly displaying my entire reproductive system with both hands. He's a trooper. Didn't look grossed out or anything, just a very deadpan, "Thanks for not charging us for that."

#28

Was on a 72hr hold following an attempt on my life on the anniversary of a traumatic event, and had a nurse ask if she could pray for me. I'm not religious but I thought it was nice and it was like 2am and I was tired so I said sure. She proceeded to pray out loud for like 30 minutes asking Jesus to forgive me for the huge sin I had committed. Not the direction I thought she'd go lol, but just said a very awkward thank you after and went back to sleep.

#29

I was getting an EKG, sitting there with my full titties out, and the doctor tells me i remind him of a girl he used to see in college

Image credits: Cheap-Banana-8565

#30

"...wait did he say he wanted to be awake?"

When I was in the operating room waiting to get my appendix removed. I met the anesthesiologist and asked to him make sure I didn't "wake up" in the middle of it. I didn't want to be aware of what was going on.

He counted me down and right before it all went black, he said this to the surgeon.

I remember thinking "you assho..." and then it all went dark.

Image credits: ksozay

#31

"Do you swallow?"

... he meant to ask if I have a hard time swallowing pills or not

Image credits: trebeju

#32

“If you want to help people, don’t go into medicine. As a doctor, I’m nothing more than a people mechanic, and much like a car mechanic, I patch people back together well enough to get them out of the door until I see them again. If I could go back, I’d run as far away from medicine as I could.”


Edit:

Whew…this gained more traction than I expected.

For context, this sentiment was offered to me by a 70 year old, 40+ year tenured physician who was on more boards than I care to list and was a very well-respected surgeon. As many in the comments have stated, his distaste for the job had very much to do with the long list of hoops that he had to jump through in order to order and perform even the most basic treatments, and yes, the endless charting was exhaustive to witness, much less perform.

He also went so far as to send a hospital wide email asking any physician who had the time to sit in a meeting with all of the pre-med people who had dedicated the most time to shadowing for a brief back and forth.

Asked a few questions along the lines of “Whose unhappy with their job…how many have been divorced…how many think you’re over-worked…how many would go back to med school…especially with the debt load today….” and a few more questions that painted a very (at least with this test group of 40+ people) realistic picture of how unhappy they all were.

At least 80% raised their hands in favor of the most negative option presented and briefly attested to how bad and hard the job had been, and of those that were heavily in favor of the job, I’d say at least 80% were quite obviously there for the money and nothing more.

I still have an immense respect for those who choose to work in healthcare, but I’m also glad that I steered away from it; especially when I consider that I would’ve entered residency in the midst of a pandemic….whew!!!

#33

"Were you a teacher? Your bladder is huge." -obgyn during a pelvic ultrasound.

I was indeed a teacher.

#34

“Is that your brother?” - asked by a nurse about my husband, who was in the room while my tits were out and I was getting an ekg.

#35

Went in for my checkup 6 weeks after my second kid and the intern who was shadowing my OBGYN made the comment “oh, hey, you’re looking great!”

Not to my face but to the bottom half of me.

#36

Every 5 weeks like clockwork, for 18 months straight, I had tonsillitis. It would lay me out for 3 to 5 days straight, and it was pure misery. The doctor who would be doing the surgery suggested we hold off because, "we wouldn't want to take out something God gave us."

#37

Was a teen and seeing my pediatrician. There was a baby or infant in a another room wailingits head off. After a few minutes, my doc said, "don't mind him, we just lopped his leg off."

#38

“You won’t find a penis in there”. From my OBGYN.

We thought we were having a boy according to the ultrasound, but apparently she was calling for a strike right down the middle. After she was born, my husband was looking around at the afterbirth when my doctor said that.

#39

My gynecologist while trying to remove my IUD when the strings weren't visible and fishing through my cervix (with local anesthesia thank god...)


Come here, kitty kitty!

In all honestly, I think he spaced out and was very concentrated to avoid unnecessary pain (uterus wasn't happy with the invasion) and he most definitely has cats and the words just came out... He bursted out laughing with embarrassment and said sorry more than I could care to count. Honestly, I thought it was hilarious.

I've been seeing him for a long time for many IUDs and he's a gem.

#40

My ENT casually said I should get my anxiety checked out. He was very certain I had it and I’d never been diagnosed for it. Turns out he was right and he really saved my mental health.

#41

I had a really weird throat issue. It didn’t hurt it just felt like something was stuck in there. I had been a vegetarian for years at this point and the doctor said I likely had a chicken bone stuck in there. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.

#42

As my wife was delivering our first baby, doctor said “you’re killing it!”.

Doc meant “you’re doing a great job”. Wife stopped pushing and freaked out for a sec.

#43

That’s a good looking vagina.

He meant to say everything looked good. He and the nurse were horrified. ? He was my Ob

#44

“You just hang on right there we will get you a wheelchair and admitted to the hospital. We have to do a colonoscopy, but don’t worry I will knock you out before sticking a camera up your a*s”

#45

"you have pretty blood. " followed by "I bet you have heavy periods"

Image credits: ApprehensiveDingo350

#46

During my psych evaluation for work I was called "baffling".

When I told my therapist he had to put his head down for a minute because he was laughing so hard, then he agreed.

#47

"OMG, it looks like ground beef!" A doctor looking into my extremely painful strep ridden throat. He gave me a Z pack from his stash there and then and told me to take the first one now. It was bad.

#48

I snapped both of my Achilles while finishing off a set of heavy leg presses with calf extensions. I didn’t close it all of the way and the sled crashed down on me, pinning my legs next to my head. (Yes- I was dumb not to use the safety pins! They weren’t there (they constantly disappeared to other machines) so I was lazy for not using them and paid the price.

The doctor looked at my scans and said “these are mirror images of each other. You must have good form.”

#49

I live in an area where many people collect and search HARD for specific bourbons and whiskeys. My psychiatrist found out that I work at a liquor store and asks me about the whiskeys my store has in stock for a solid 10 minutes (my appts are scheduled to be 15-20 minutes long). EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT. I’m just trying to get my mood stabilizer refilled ??

#50

When I was younger I was getting stitches after a skin lump removal on my leg, the doctor and the nurse started to comment on how elastic my skin was and how nice it was to have young skin.

#51

“Whoops! I’m just going to kind of…tack it on. It’ll probably hold.” While having my fingertip reattached after a freak accident.

As I left the ER a different medical professional said to me “Oh wow they saved it? We were for sure you were going to lose it. We even placed bets!”

ETA: The “whoops” was a comment the doc made after putting in one of the stitches. It did not inspire confidence.

Edit 2 for the story: At an out of town rehearsal dinner for a wedding my family was in the next day my husband and I went to set up a pack’n’play for our youngest. The rails weren’t locking into place so we got on either end and grabbed the corners. Before I could get my hands in the right position (my pointer fingers were under the corner caps that cover the hinge area) my husband, a strong weightlifter man, pulled on his end as hard as he could. Left pointer fingertip nearly severed, right pointer fingertip crushed and bone fractured but still attached. Pack’n’play covered in blood, people freaked out, I did NOT pass out or throw up. Husband took me to a nearby hospital and I stood in the wedding the next day as a bridesmaid.

#52

"Wow. You have the flattest feet I've ever seen."

#53

The first OB/GYN I went to was in the same group medical practice as my father (a pediatrician). While getting a routine PAP (after my dad had retired from medicine), the GYN says, "How's your dad doing? Is he enjoying retirement?" My man, can we NOT talk about my dad while you're knuckle deep in my hot pocket?

#54

"What the hell is that?" while pulling a small piece of metal out of my eye lid.

That s**t hurt.

#55

"There is no scientific basis for you to be experiencing pain from that (gaping wound in your leg). There aren't any nerves in there."

While passing kidney stones, "we can't give you anything for pain because it could constipate you."

#56

No matter what problem I arrived with to the practitioner's office (anemia, tonsillitis, gastritis or flu), he'd always say that was due to the lack of sex.

He would also always include that line (and I quote: "have more sex") in prescription for medication.

#57

I had a full fib tib break, leg completely sideways. Surgeon told me that I was lucky because I had broken my bone into so many pieces that their weren't any pieces big enough to cause lasting muscle damage. He then said that I had "powdered" my leg bones.

#58

“If you don’t need these pain meds now, you can save them for another time” ER doc giving me a bottle full of Dilaudid for a broken thumb. The early 2000’s were a wild time for prescription drugs.

#59

Walk in clinic, doctor was an old man, maybe 80. He asked where I live and I said across the street, over JJ's Street Meats restaurant.

"Street meat? We used to call prostitutes that! Okay roll up your sleeve, we'll do your blood pressure now."

#60

My dental hygienist told me that my mom must not have had enough calcium when she was pregnant

#61

A nurse of some kind took my blood pressure. He said what the numbers were.

I asked “is that good?”

He said “I’m not qualified to give you a professional opinion on the matter. You should ask your doctor.”

I asked “But like, unprofessionally, is that good?”

He said “Unprofessionally? Well, in my purely personal opinion that I am sharing with you as an individual and not in any medical or official capacity whatsoever, you should buy stronger deodorant.”

Edit: for clarity, I was definitely stinky, I was homeless at the time. I was well aware of this fact. If you’re worried you’re a little funky, don’t. You would almost assuredly notice if you smelled really bad.


This post first appeared on How Movie Actors Look Without Their Makeup And Costume, please read the originial post: here

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61 People Share The Dumbest Or Weirdest Things A Doctor Casually Told Them

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