Nobody’s an island—we need other people not only to survive but also to thrive. On top of that, loneliness and isolation have thoroughly negative impacts on our health. So it makes sense that we want and need active social lives and the respect of our peers. That’s why many people copy what others do in order to conform with the crowd and create relationships with others.

However, just because everyone’s doing something doesn’t mean that it’s right for you or even the ethically right thing to do. Reddit user u/avaspark started up an interesting conversation when they asked everyone to share the things that society normalizes, but that they absolutely refuse to do. Scroll down to see what these internet users had to say. 

We reached out to the author of the thread, redditor u/avaspark, and they were kind enough to share their thoughts on the topic. You'll find Bored Panda's interview with them below.

#1

Influencers. I have a hard time articulating the depth of their collective uselesness.

Image credits: Brilliant_Pun

According to the author of the thread, what made them ask the question on Reddit was how out of place they felt in society as a whole. "The thing that inspired me to create the thread was due to how much I feel left out from the society," they told Bored Panda.

The redditor explained their position that even though society has created a "way of living" that's commonly accepted by most people, there will always be some aspects of it that individuals refuse.

"So I began to think if there would be anybody who felt as much left out as I did," they said.

#2

Filming and photographing everything I do or experience and putting it online for attention from family and strangers.

Image credits: rebelbasestarfleet

#3

Child beauty pagents

Image credits: oldmanghozzt

In the author's opinion, it's precisely because there are some individuals who don't conform to social norms that they're pressured to do so. The more they don't conform, the greater this pressure will probably be.

Meanwhile, Bored Panda was curious to get the OP's thoughts on marriage, something that they mentioned in their post they refuse to accept, even though it's normalized in society.

"From my perspective, some people frown on others who don't want to get married because of the differences in personal opinion and preferences. Some people might think marriage is beneficial, some might not," they said.

#4

Endless consumption

Image credits: dolfijnvriendelijk

#5

Going to work while sick. If I’m sick with something contagious I’m staying home period.

Image credits: Mountain-Asparagus25

#6

Plastering your life on social media

Image credits: salloumk

"The numbers of opinion also play a part in this. The opinion with the majority of votes will influence what it is that the society defines as a norm/acceptable. Meanwhile, opinions with a minority of votes will be defined otherwise by society," u/avaspark said that it's this contradiction in opinions that will cause friction and judgment of people's choices.

"In addition, not every norm is acceptable and not everything acceptable is a norm. If anyone out there feel like they are missing out or being left out or not belong to the society, at least they know it's not a must," they said.

Social disconnection is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and many are now worried that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States. However, it’s not just people’s physical and mental health that suffers—this social isolation has economic impacts, too. 

#7

Worshipping people, I don't really get the concept of looking up at actors, politicians religious figures or "influencers", just feels wrong, and 99.9% of the times, this "figures" end up being s**t

Image credits: chocolombia

#8

Going into debt for a wedding. I do like marriage even if the benefits are next to nothing these days but the normalization of a $20-$30k wedding in America is ridiculous. We just went to the court house and had a small party afterwards. No need to spend all that cash just to start your life together in debt

Image credits: Adorable_Cuckquean

#9

Amazon. Jeff does not need more money. I go straight to the company sites.

Image credits: CtForrestEye

For example, Forbes points out that disconnection costs businesses $154 billion per year due to productivity loss. So there are both humanitarian and utilitarian reasons to encourage people to connect with others and develop deep, meaningful relationships.

However, it’s important to find balance in your connections with others. If you simply copy everything that your social circle does—from values and attitudes to style, body language, and life choices—you might feel like you’re losing your sense of self.

#10

Tiktok

Image credits: Disastrous-Custard10

#11

Religion/teaching my kids to be religious. I live in the Bible Belt so when I tell people I'm not religious nor plan to teach my children to be religious they always look at me like I told them I beat my kids with a metal bar.

Image credits: Ok-Ad4375

#12

Hustle 26 hours a day, grind to be successful, etc.

I just wanna do my job I enjoy, come home for dinner, play with my dogs, listen to music and sleep.

YOU can be the billionaire. I'm good where I am brah.

Image credits: adminofyourlifenow

Being an individual with your own particular set of values, opinions, dreams, and ambitions is nothing to sneer at. It’s pleasant to be part of a collective and we strive for this. But at the same time, every human being is more than just the community they belong to.

You should live with the courage to stand up for what you truly believe in, instead of fearing that you might become an outcast if you go against the grain. You shouldn’t find yourself in a position where you shut off your critical thinking just because it’s easier to follow everyone else’s expectations.

#13

Crypto

Image credits: Middle-Wrangler2729

#14

cheating/infidelity while in a monogamous relationship. Also social media.

Image credits: NoBrightSide

#15

The death of privacy

Image credits: monocromatica

As Psychology Today explains, conformity can be seen as negative when it’s done out of fear, or concern for a person’s social standing, or has dangerous consequences.

On the flip side, conformity is also what can help communities thrive and succeed because everyone’s on the same page in terms of rules and norms.

#16

Monetize all my hobbies and produce "content" for social media.

Image credits: Dr_Girlfriend_81

#17

Call the drinks at Starbucks anything other than small, medium, or large.

#18

Using punctuation and proper spelling on text messages or chat applications. I don't care if you don't do it, I will still write my text properly.

Edit: I meant to say, it is now normalized to NOT using punctuation and proper spelling.

Image credits: ReadyFyre1

#19

Working over 40+ hours in a week without getting paid for it. F**k that….

#20

Going out in pyjamas.

Image credits: nightcoreangst

#21

subscription services

Image credits: lsnik

#22

Normalizing obesity

#23

Social media. I'm on reddit, but I don't see that as social media, it's more an online forum.

Image credits: -Blue_Bull-

#24

Sketched on eyebrows and bee sting lips... ugh.

#25

Hating on the person your partner is cheating on you with. I see so many girls hate "the other girl" when yk, your bf/husband should care more about your relationship/marriage than some random girl they decided to f**k. Make it make sense.

Image credits: 12kindsoftrouble

#26

Working 5x8h. Do I remotely earn enough? I really don’t. Would I be happier with more work + money? No way in hell!

Image credits: SchlagzeugNeukoelln

#27

Wearing makeup to work, I used to because I felt like I had to. The transition got me comments that I look tired and/or sick, but now I throw on mascara only when I want to ? I'm not good at make up and am lazy so I'm glad that women aren't expected to as much anymore ?

#28

Not being forthcoming on the prenup part of Marriage.

If I ever get married I am going to be honest and straightforward with doing a prenup way early before any marriage proposals will be made.

Even if I am much more poorer than my SO.

Image credits: PickleFantasies

#29

Ghosting

Image credits: VirtualTaste1771

#30

Alcohol

Image credits: mutohasaposse

#31

Hook up culture

Image credits: ChaoticCherryblossom

#32

Food delivery services. Unless im too wasted to drive ill pick it up myself thanks

Image credits: gilbert131313

#33

One thing? ? Theres so many. But probably the biggest is having kids.

Image credits: Cool_Relative7359

#34

I'm tired of so many people trying to normalize teens dressing like grown women

Image credits: Prestigious-Phase131

#35

Consumer debt. Don't care if it's electronics, vehicles, or anything else - if I don't have the money to buy it outright, I won't buy it.

Edit: to exclude a mortgage

Edit 2: the comments have been interesting to see the 2 different schools of thought on the matter.

1 hand is the people who take a similar approach and mention how much of a relief it is to not have debt and the freedom it awards.

On the other is people telling me how I'm missing out, foolish, "good luck getting a loan" (which is funny because that's the whole point is to *not* get one), or how I must be privileged because I don't have debt (even though I have a very modest income, I just choose to approach purchases differently and delay them so i can and pay myself the interest over several years to pay cash at the time of purchase vs getting that item now and paying someone else later).

It definitely takes a different mindset than society pushes and a lot of financial discipline to maintain that lifestyle, but to me it's worth it. I don't have to stress over small hiccups life throws at me because I'm not burdened by monthly payments.

Image credits: bacon205

#36

Buying Jordans or Yeezys. Both are overpriced

#37

Replying all to work emails just to say congratulations to someone.

#38

Getting extremely long eyelashes or nails

#39

Using AI

#40

Vaping - it’s so disgusting ?

#41

Consumerism. I will on off be a binge consumerist sometimes, but for the most part I strongly prefer to be a minimalist! The idea of it really helps me find what I really enjoy in life, i find groups of “my people” easily, and I love being connected to my identity significantly more than random things.

#42

Porn. Come on, think how bizarre the whole concept is.

#43

No tattoos for me, thanks

#44

Antisocial behavior.