Many, many years ago, when the vast majority of people in the world did not even know about rock'n'roll, let alone the internet, the great rock band The Platters recorded a song, the very first verse of which fully described the essence of modern Social Media influencers: "Oh, yes, I'm the great pretender, pretending that I'm doing well. My need is such, I pretend too much... I'm lonely, but no one can tell."

And if decades ago, children dreamed of being, for example, astronauts, today influencer is perhaps one of the dream jobs. Social media is showing us the perfect beautiful picture of a prosperous life - but how true is that? People who know influencers in real life are trying to answer this question.

More info: Reddit

#1

My BIL does a lot of work doing hobby videos. He had finally gotten some partnerships.

He’s the same guy online and off. He just was really down for a long time and got into this since he wasn’t able to do his dream anymore. He works really hard on his channel while balancing a full time job, two kids and takes care of his mom and grandma when they need it. My husband and I are very proud of him!

Image credits: AnxiousReader

#2

Someone I am close to is a local "micro influencer", she's a nice person and her personality is pretty much the same, but the part that irks me is planning and doing things specifically for the 'gram. For example, one time we were on vacation together and she wanted to go to a specific cafe just for the aesthetic. She bought a coffee, changed her outfit in the washroom (from sweats to a cute floral dress), took photos all around the cafe for half an hour, and then changed back into her sweats and threw out the coffee (she doesn't even drink coffee, just bought the cheapest thing on the menu to justify being there). That level of fakeness left a bad taste in my mouth.

Image credits: manifesuto

#3

I think people only get to see 1 side of her. I see the behind the scenes which is the strategy and work that comes with curating an online image. So online you see a world traveler who is beautiful, polished,and fashionable. In real life she's so much more than that, she is funny, hard working, strategic, sweet, smart, and generous. People get to see her reaping the rewards of her hard work and fantasize of an easier life. They don't see all the little details it took to get there.

Image credits: mauvelatern1279

Modern marketing divides influencers into four levels according to the main criterion - the number of subscribers. Nano-level - up to ten thousand, micro-level - from ten to one hundred thousand, macro-level - from one hundred thousand to a million and mega-level - from a million subscribers and above. Superstars like MrBeast, who has over 164M subscribers on YouTube alone, stand apart. As of today, the influencer marketing platform market is growing at a tremendous pace - if in 2020 the total market volume was estimated at $6B, then by 2024 it should be about $21B.

#4

Her whole Persona is an endlessly happy, Good Vibes Only, Shoot For The Moon Cause At Least You'll Land Among The Stars, Anyone Can Be Anything As Long As They Work At It kind of "hustler."

She suffers from clinical depression, insecurity, and low self esteem due to a *really* s****y childhood. I think it's her way of fake it till ya make it.

Image credits: anon

#5

I only have one personal friend who is an "influencer" (that I know of) and she's pretty much the same irl. But, she's into DIY home improvement, woodworking, plumbing and electrical, and building things, so her personality isn't wrapped up in image or lifestyle. She's more of a "how-to" influencer.

I do work with beauty influencers (even the term makes me shudder) in real life, though, on a daily basis because I'm over digital marketing for a very large cosmetics/skin care company. We mostly work with people with over 250k followers. I have yet to meet any that I can actually stand. The ones we have worked with are the most insufferable, demanding, unprofessional group of people I've ever seen and their agents are often just as bad. In contrast, every single one of the professional models and actors we hire for shoots or commercials have been incredibly professional and kind to everyone on set.

Image credits: anon

#6

My friend introduced me to an influencer here and we hung out a few times. Online she was projecting this image of being a powerful, independent woman who buys her own stuff and is super successful. In reality, she was broke; she used to go to expensive shops, get an empty bag, fill it with her own stuff and then take photos as if she went shopping. Her boyfriend was paying for everything and he got a dog, who she initially hated and used to refer to it as "the rat" UNTIL she realised her audience loved the dog so she kept posting pics of them together.


The thing that bothered me most though was that even though she didn't have a degree in marketing and had never done anything marketing-related [besides having a blog], she kept saying she deserved a great marketing job. As a marketing professional who's spent hours on strategies and working at agencies, that s**t really [annoyed me].

Image credits: Rafaellicious

If earlier, decades ago, television definitely ruled the world, and if you were not on TV, then frankly speaking, you had few chances to achieve success as a prospective celebrity, today the internet gives everyone a chance. Although, as before, in the confrontation between pure amateur talent and a powerful PR machine, the latter often wins. In the end, the same MrBeast today is actually a huge team of professionals, comparable to a full-fledged TV channel.

#7

A girl I went to high school with is an influencer, and honestly she is pretty chill and down to earth. Pretty much exactly the person she claims to be while influencing. She was always nice, good at photography, and curating an aesthetic, so it isn't surprising to me that she is an influencer. I respect her because she is also incredibly intelligent and didn't give up her dreams for school; I know she works in a lab and has a serious job, which is more than I can say about myself. Sometimes I see her being beautiful, living on the beach and eating expensive meals, and get a little jealous, but then I remember how much work she puts into all of this and realize that she is just incredibly hard-working.

Image credits: pumpkin-jesus

#8

I went to high school with a girl who is now an "influencer"/"instagram poet"

Every photo on IG is her smiling/laughing/modeling in nature, trying to be quirky, posting messages about love and positivity and self acceptance. She writes "poetry" that she posts regularly (with awful grammar, might I add). She gets tons of comments/likes about how great and influential she is. She regularly dates new people to keep her IG "interesting" and then deletes all traces when they break up. She's also been traveling all over during COVID (and not quarantining) and posting a lot of maskless pictures in groups.

In real life - she was a huge bully in high school and regularly made fun of people for their appearance, weight, sexuality, etc. She never finished college, she worked/used to work minimum wage jobs, but now makes "insta poetry" and being an "influencer" her career. I imagine she'll roll into my high school reunion thinking she's god's gift to the earth.

I think instagram (and a lot of other social media) is really harmful to the younger generation.

Image credits: findingastyle

#9

I train at the same gym as someone who's got hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram, huge corporate sponsorship deals and is a massively successful and decorated body builder.

She keeps it VERY real on her Instagram and YouTube and I admire her for that. She's close to someone else who has a similar Instagram status as her and that person goes to photoshoots every weekend and only posts those pictures, you never see her break a sweat etc. My friend shows the grind that goes into maintaining the physique and how inelegant the life is (dietary requirements, hormonal issues due to extreme body fat % etc)

Image credits: ThronesOfAnarchy

"In fact, being an influencer is just a job that only mimics a lifestyle," says Boris Gurtovoy, the founder of Trixter Digital SMM agency, who was asked by Bored Panda for a comment. “Accordingly, it should be treated as a job. After all, you don’t require, say, actor Henry Cavill to fly through the air or slay monsters in real life. In fact, many influencers are actors in their specific reality show."

"Of course, without special experience in the field where the influencer works, it is difficult to succeed, so most of them - from those whose social capital is measured at least hundreds of thousands of subscribers - can really be called experts. And, of course, an influencer is a daily intense job. After all, playing a role and playing it well is not that easy," Boris states.

#10

This is a wild ride, you can't make this s**t up.

So I followed a girl on social media for a long time, I knew she lived in my city. She had a mass following but she's pretty controversial. If I say how, its obvious who it is, but her page consisted of club nights with bottle service, her luxury apartment, designer clothes, travelling abroad, photoshoots. Typical influencer behaviour I guess.

So one day I head to my local deli for a sandwich. When I get there, there's a new girl behind the counter making the food and I swear it had to be her. She's had a lot of filler and procedures and I truly didn't realise how much she edited her photos, because in real life you could hardly tell it was her. I went onto her page and realised she had tattoos, so next time I'm in the deli I look for them and they match. Its literally her.

So I investigated (otherwise known as being extremely nosy). It was just crazy to me, there was no way this stuff added up. She would post that she was in some city in Europe in a high end nightclub, but in reality I would see her working in the deli from 6am that day. I knew the other staff that worked there and I had to ask. Basically, her entire interest persona is fake - she is in massive debt from credit cards, any kind of loans you can imagine. The luxury apartment is an air B&B, every few months she rents in for a night, brings multiple changes of clothes and takes enough pictures to sprinkle it across her page for months. The luxury car she drives, same thing, she rents it at a day rate every few months, takes lots of pictures. The designer goods are fake, and everything she ACTUALLY has to pay for is done through credit. The photoshoots she attends, she's pays for.

I still follow her and its been the healthiest thing for me the ever discover on social media. I'll see her post a photoshoot, worded as though its her job, and all the comments are young girls wishing they looked like her, wishing they had her life. In reality I see her all the time, working long hours at the deli on minimum wage because she can no longer afford her debt, barely recognisable.

#11

I know a few.

YT hair guru is actually pretty quiet and a loner that is hard working. She's successful because she works like 13 hours a day.

Dog influencer. She's rarely in the shots as she's quiet. But her and her dogs are great.

Lifestyle/family influencer. Dude why are the family ones the most toxic? They pretend to be good parents but those kids are props that look nice to put sponsored clothes on. They like to say motivational things they will never do.

Image credits: TenaciousToffee

#12

I worked for a “girl boss” influencer who had her own beauty brand. While she was nice (sometimes) she also was a horrible boss. Low pay, no benefits. She made me drive her to a different city for a business meeting one time in her car (so she wouldn’t have to pay me for gas) even though I told her I was uncomfortable with the idea. After a super long day she made sure I drove her after to get sea food so she could eat, but she didn’t offer to get me food so I ended up asking her if it was ok if I stopped at mc donalds... I worked in marketing but she was treating me like her personal assistant or something.

Also, when my coworker got pregnant she refused to pay maternity leave even though she is a mother herself... so much for being a feminist “girl boss”.

Needless to say, she was very much different than the person she portrayed online.

Edit: Since this post got popular I will add more stories for your entertainment:

- she hires a lot of family to work for her but pays them less than she payed me. I got $ 13/hr so go figure. One of her family couldn’t make ends meet so he eventually had to start driving Uber on the side. Meanwhile she buys herself an excess of Gucci, Chanel, you get the picture. ?

- more than a few people have made a scene when they quit because she has pushed so many people to the edge.. I don’t blame them

- called a big meeting that everyone was confused about to say “if you want to quit the doors right there” and accused people of “gossiping” instead of looking at her actions to see why people were so unhappy. Also tone deaf because not all of us make CEO money so we can’t just quit our job when we feel like it.

- didn’t pay people during the pandemic. Refused to let people work from home because she doesn’t trust people working on stuff on their personal computers. ( unless it’s 2am on Black Friday and you’re working overtime but not getting paid?) eventually when she realized she needed people to work, she only payed half of the already low pay.

Also, she wrote a book about being a “boss” which is laughable.

Image credits: tehsmittenkitten

Of course, there are situations when an influencer is really poorly versed in the area in which they position themselves as an expert. But this applies mainly to the nano-level - in fact, in order to develop further, you need to acquire a powerful team, invest in equipment and advertising, and this level does not tolerate ignorance. Be that as it may, almost any influencer must put in a lot of hard work, and it should be perceived in this vein. So what do you think, our dear readers, should we demand influencers live their online life in their real one, or not?

#13

I know 2 and they’re very different.

First girl is what you would expect: edits her photos to no end and doesn’t look much like what she looks like irl. She’s a pretty girl but she’s the girl next door type and less Insta baddie. She posts butt and bikini pics. Her following is primarily men.

The 2nd girl does social media professionally and I work with her. She does a lot of body positivity, fashion, and parenthood type of content. She’s super down to earth and SO stylish. She’s worked for some pretty notable plus size fashion startups.

There’s obviously a big difference in the level of professionalism. I would say the first girl is a hobbyist that got lucky and subsequently obsessed with the idea of being an influencer. The second girl has a proven track record of growth and can take anyone’s platform and grow it, not just her own.

#14

So much. She rents all of her clothes and bags and shoes and lives in a c**p hole house.

Image credits: totallyrad16

#15

Online she’s really upbeat and ‘honest’ about the ups and downs of working with horses and competing at a high level. In real life she’s a whiny, spoilt brat who’s parents pay for absolutely everything and is well known for having tantrums when she doesn’t get placed at a competition.

Image credits: kristalle21

#16

Much different. While she is very friendly in person, her personality has always been vapid and unreliable. She is the kind of girl to commit to plans and then not show up if something better comes along.

She often travels on extravagant trips and posts photos of herself, as if she travels alone and pays for her vacations. In reality, there is almost always a much older sugar daddy who paid for the trip and is with her.

She is very realistic about her body though, which i appreciate. Obviously she is a gorgeous young woman, but like us all, has her 'imperfections.' She never tries to hide this.

Image credits: ardvarkandy

#17

She hides a good bit of her real life and most of her personality. But the insta persona is not really 'fake' per se.

She's extremely sweet, very personable, great eye for fashion and 'looks', and is a terrific photographer IRL.

Main thing she doesn't really let out is that she's really academically accomplished.

We met in grad school where we shared a few classes and got along really well. I moved on to the job market and career, while she got into a super competitive PhD program. She wanted to be an academic.

Since her research took her to interesting places she always took great pictures, and randomly her insta started taking off. Certainly helped that she looks like Konnie Huq.

Struggling as a young academic hustling for grant money
So she put the PhD on hold and focused on the travelling for the last 4ish years. She makes a fabulous living, gets to go to a lot of amazing places. And while 2020 could have been a career-killer due to the pandemic (and Boris's incompetence), she found enough time to take some classes and do enough thesis work that she might even end up getting her PhD in 2021.

Even though since grad school we only ever met at weddings, she was also very good in keeping touch. While it would have been easy enough to be jealous of her or for her to flaunt her lifestyle, she's just really really self-aware as well as aware of the absurdity of her life. Actually really looking forward to meeting her soon, once the vaccines get working.

#18

Jesus, she is antisocial and always always on her phone. She won’t put her phone down at the dinner table because if she doesn’t comment on other influencers’ instagrams (with at least three words) then she will lose followers and stop getting free stuff. She’s a yoga influencer and says her followers are dumb and easy to manipulate. (I really hope my brother breaks up with her)

Image credits: mermaidhairdontcare

#19

My sister is kinda an influencer in a very niche market. She makes religious items on Etsy, and she is very popular on IG so she is always posting, planning posts, does paid posts to promote other people/products, and she designs all her stuff on etsy so she posts some of her designs. She has also had personal situations (related to being the victim of abuse, and related to her children) that she is also very open about on the account.

How much does she differ? In my opinion, she spins everything a lot for her persona and isn't fully honest. She acts like she was an independent woman all on her own when getting back on her feet, but the reality is my parents helped her a ton financially, legally, and emotionally. The issue with it is mostly that she hasn't recognized her own privilege or given my parents the credit they deserve for how much they have supported her over the years. She also leans a lot on her religion, rather than, again, recognizing the support and involvement of those who care about her of the years. I also feel like she like to only show the "pretty flaws" of being a mother or survivor, and it comes off extremely disingenuous to me. I am a survivor of a different type of abuse (hers was physical/emotional, mine was only emotional. She is NOT aware of my own experiences) and I feel like she has used it as a talking point without fully getting herself the help that she needs, and without calling proper attention to helping others in these situations. She has the attitude of "stop being a victim and be a woman" and I just think it is damaging to other survivors, not actually realistic, and just a mask she wears at the end of the day.

Image credits: anon

#20

My friend is a small scale model and influencer, but he doesn't like to call himself that because of the negative stigma. Online, he's this cool skinny boy with boney hands and a sharp jawline.

Irl, he is an absolute idiot with insane levels of anxiety. He's also a total edgelord but we can all laugh about it. When he's around, he's kind of the main character, but no one minds taking pictures or tagging him in stuff. It makes him happy, and he's nice.

We also play D&D together where he's an even bigger idiot than in everyday life.

#21

I know someone who acts like a champion for minority rights, BLM, empowering women etc in their professional field. I kind of regret not saving the pictures of her in her MAGA hat.

Image credits: bahhamburger

#22

Know two local ones in my area. One is horribly narcissistic and has portrays the cool decor girl with the great family vibe, but has been cheating on her husband on and off for the past five years. It was her boss, they both lost their jobs over it, partners knew, rekindled again. Has had to have both kids paternity tested.

The other was famous back in the day, is still going with kids and preaches about her “holistic and vegan” lifestyle. Girl eats meat, cheese you name it. Lives complete opposite of the life she portrays. So fake.

Image credits: thatbrunettegirl10

#23

I've known a few as I often work with them in my career. They were mostly "mommy influencers" (with instagrams focused on their kids) and with the exception of one were all very friendly and on par with their online persona

Example: they attended a conference my client threw and I was supposed to order them Ubers back to the hotel after. For one of them, I accidentally cancelled her Uber while she was in it so she ended up having to pay (it wasn't cheap). She called me, I explained my mistake, and she was SUPER nice about it, said she'd pay, insisted I don't need to mention this to anyone which I would've had to do to reimburse her. Said it wasn't a big deal and she'd rather not I get in any trouble after an exhausting day. That's honestly how most of them were.

The only exception mentioned above was this very wealthy woman who acted so nice, was a great speaker, people always commented on how sweet she was, but IRL a total diva and exhausting to work with.

I also had a boss who was an influencer, repping a big car brand. One of the kindest people I've ever met. Her insta was different from her persona, just because it was a lot more cool/sexy than she presented in real life. At work she was a total sweetheart, very down to earth and helpful to everyone, never giving the impression she was trying to be cool. I definitely felt her insta presence was an act but tbh I liked the real her much better.

So overall, my experience with influencers has been positive. I think people gravitate towards kindness, and having a genuinely good heart helps getting followers.

Image credits: zouss

#24

One of my mutual friends has over 1 million followers, I went to high school with her and I'm still in the same circle as her. She has always been super nice and down to earth, her videos reflect that as she mostly just dances and does challenges. She has had relative Instagram fame since high school but she has always been super humble.

Image credits: anon

#25

She is a bit rude to bartenders and wait staff. She has a lovey- mom image, and it seems she really is devoted at home, but snapping her fingers and giving orders to wait staff is embarrassing to watch. I tipped way extra. And I declined her third invite to hang out.

Edit: I don't know if influencer is the right word. She is a country music superstar, has been for years.

Image credits: notmissingone

#26

Not at all, really. She's pretty much the same irl. She is a personal brand all to herself and cultivates that in every aspect of her life. It's working well for her as she makes good money as a life and business coach off of nothing more than the force of her personality. She has carefully built a cult of personality situation that sustains her.

Image credits: nevertruly

#27

YES. My sister is an “influencer” and her real life is a complete lie from what she posts on her Instagram. It’s actually really sad, and I think she needs therapy for it.

#28

My former co-worker is a Weight Watchers influencer with 30-40k followers.

She is exactly the same in real life as she is on her IG - very outgoing, friendly, and a BIG personality. It's something that seems to come very naturally to her which I think explains her success with it.

We traveled together a few times per year and what I found interesting was how she could make something as dull as the free hotel breakfast look like a luxurious four star brunch. Cropping and editing goes such a long way!

#29

She works SO hard in her Instagram captions/persona to come across as a caring, vulnerable, victimized woman. While she has absolutely had her struggles in life, she is not even close to caring/vulnerable. Most of the stuff she says never even happened to her, though not ALL of it is lies.

She does not care about anyone who cannot further her social media following, get her invited places, and into the right networks, etc.

Who she pays attention to is a revolving door based on what you can offer her. Most of our friends completely have unfollowed and cut her off because she is just not the kind of person (and not a KIND person) that you want in your life.

#30

I know an online travel blogger. Online, he is friendly, 'meeting strangers woo', 'come join the fun' type guy. Making it look like he's having a blast, people are missing out etc.

In real life, he is cliquey and rude. The 'strangers' were people he knew already. He is the type of guy who acts as though people should feel lucky to hang out with him, and makes everything seem more exciting/dramatic than it really is.

One day on my bd, I was hanging with a friend. He drove us out to some wilderness type thing, then wrote a whole mysterious blog post about it, making it seem like we had the craziest adventure ever. We just drove 30 mins and walked around an abandoned site. It was fun, but it wasn't like blogworthy.

#31

my sister is an influencer and quite honestly shes become an entire different person..her online persona became her real life

Image credits: haybails4

#32

I met this guy who was really well known amongst a fandom, online he was super confident and said a lot of rash things.
In person, I didn’t even recognize him. He was so quiet and insecure.

Image credits: anon

#33

Online shes got this peace love and hippy vibe, always trying to appear like a nature babe, pictures for every situation, disgustingly positive, super perfect loving relationship where they comment first on each other’s s**t “you’re my heart my soul, my blah blah” even though they’re sitting right next to each other and my favorite...the “woke” sjw, virtue signaling mentality.

In person, she judges people for smoking weed even though she smokes now and thinks it’s just the most stylish thing ever, would rather camp in a hotel with phone in hand, at a campsite she loudly played very sexual club music and I had to speak up and say what the f**k, litters and will take 10 minutes to take the perfect photo but not without verbally announcing everything she hates about herself, talks s**t about others and tries to find any reason to gripe about someone she decides she doesn’t like, is wildly insecure and will accuse girls of wanting her boyfriend by simply existing, has thrown public fits and even slapped her boyfriend in front of all our friends over stupid s**t, if there are poc at the bar the crowds “gotten dark” if the houses arent suburban cardboard McMansions shell rush to lock the door and say “it’s so ghetto!” Even going as far to say the neighborhood we (everyone else) all live in is “ghetto” even though my neighbors are all old white people. Then she’ll do this thing where she talks out her a*s about doing something/what she loves/planning a trip and then acting like the conversation never happened.

I don’t really talk to her much now.

Image credits: ofcthrowaway112

#34

She’s kind of lying about how well she eats-her whole thing is eating well, no alcohol, taking care of yourself, vegan, crystals, meditating, chasing that MONEY HUNNY ...when pre-pandemic I’ve seen her at the local pub eating chicken nuggets with a super sugary margarita.

Image credits: anon

#35

Unbelievably. She's not necessarily malicious, but she's a complete hypocrite - saying things like she doesn't like it when women edit their photos, but she pays a photographer 25 euros to edit each and every one of the pictures she post. A mutual friend of ours once had VIP tickets to a Novak Djokovic (a top tennis player) match, and said 'influencer' made my friend take videos and send them to her, so her followers would think she was there.

Generally a very shallow person.

Image credits: sapjastuff

#36

I know two people who became fitness “influencers” with varying degrees of popularity. The first person got into fitness during college and ended up becoming a personal trainer with social media following. They were always very into positive thinking, self growth and confidence and all of those messages are reflected in their posts. The other person got into it seemingly out of nowhere and I find their influencer persona entirely disingenuous and I’ve always kind of thought of them as a grifter. Also they used to shill very dangerous products so the health obsession is kind of ironic.

#37

I know one who is really disgusting in real life. One of the filthiest people I know. Her life is also kind of boring and empty because she has nothing to do in-between video making.



I know another influencer who does have a rich life off of instagram/YouTube. She has real friends but her "content" is more meaningful, so that makes sense. The aforementioned one has a very vapid personality on YouTube/Instagram.

#38

Not an “Influenster Influenster” but a girl from a viral video who got internet famous. She’s bipolar and schizophrenic and tries to hide that by being “quirky” and making her followers think she’s just weird. She’s a lot different in the sense that she’s really mentally ill and disgusting it as different personalities for videos

Image credits: bmichellecat

#39

Not much. Their online persona is a simplier version of them. It's like when I first met them.

#40

I do not know that they are an "influencer", but they are on screen talent on a very popular internet based media company. They are exactly like the media presents, but the media they put out shows off the highlights and none of the lows. They tend to be pretty frank with their online community, so most people already know about the lows they are just not broadcast.

I knew another one tangentially, but he did some real bad stuff in his personal life and has been redacted from the community. F**k that guy.

Image credits: Sand_Dargon

#41

Complete opposite- online persona is one of extreme confidence and maturity. In real life, she is one of the most insecure people I’ve ever met. It seems like she isn’t even living life because everything centers around taking the perfect pic or making videos for social media. She pressures her boyfriend of the month to propose within a certain time frame and guess what....she’s still single. I look at her with pity, seems like an awful existence.

Image credits: new_girl_here_

#42

i know two of them (a girl and a boy, both around 26-27 yo), both are really bratty and looking down on people. However the girl tries to get rid of the stereotype and went to college to reach her full potential. The boy is a walking catastrophe with zero ambitions (other than collecting money). When anyone questions being an influencer as a fulfilling career they both become very defensive (somehow I understand it) however I once caught the girl saying that people who don't like influencers are just "envious peasants" so I distantiate myself from both of these people as much as I can

edit: both are beauty and lifestyle gurus (uploading makeup vids & travelling vids most of the time)

#43

She has a lot of issues, is very abrasive and has serious alcohol problems. I think her image is all she has.

Image credits: LadyFerretQueen