The internet is full of happy, wholesome content about parenting and family life – from cake smash photoshoots and childhood photos to constructive parenting tips. Just as important as celebrating the positive, however, is learning from and and understanding the negative. When one Redditor asked people to share things they’d never Forgive their parents for, the comment section served as a place of group catharsis where people could get traumas large and small off their chests and console one another.

We must warn you that some of the topics touch on potentially triggering memories of sexual assault, violence or substance abuse. If you enjoyed a relatively stable upbringing, some of these comments may help put the turbulence you did encounter (because haven’t we all) into a broader perspective. If your upbringing left you deeply scarred, then you may recognize parts of your own life in these terrible situations and find solace and solidarity. All of these people survived, and some of them are even thriving – despite it all.

#1

Close to Christmas when I was around 10/11 years old, I was home alone when there was a knock on the door. I answered and it was one of my mum's acquaintances.

He told me that he'd spoken to my mum and needed to come in to pick some stuff up, so off he went upstairs and proceeded to steal all of the Christmas presents that were destined to be placed under the tree for my brother, sister and I on Christmas morning.

I was oblivious to what the stuff that needed to be picked up was.

Mum comes home 30 minutes later, asks if anybody came round whilst she was out.

Proud as punch I say "yup, Craig came round and picked the stuff up you told him about".

"YOU LET HIM IN THE HOUSE?!?"

*oh c**p*

Mum runs upstairs....

"he's stolen all of your Christmas presents, you'll have nothing for Christmas now!"

High drama, anger and profound guilt filled the entire house for the remainder of the night and a while after.

About 6 months later I overheard a conversation I shouldn't have and figured out that there were no Christmas presents to start with, the whole thing was a setup.

The household budget didn't stretch to maintaining existence, sating a rampaging heroin addiction AND Christmas presents.

So yeah, my mum concocted a perfect plan to hide the lack of Christmas presents, remove herself from any perceived blame and let a 10 year old boy think that he had ruined Christmas.

Those were the days!

Image credits: greenear_1

#2

Mine is heavy but I’ll be honest, my mother was a prostitute when I was a child. When I turned 4 and my sister was 5 she decided she wanted to earn even better money by pimping out her kids, us. This was a part of my life for a few years until I went into foster care. I’m a grown adult and I accept what happened in my childhood and I’ve done the work to heal. But I’ll never forgive her. Some things are unforgivable.

Image credits: __KWM__

#3

My mom letting my stepfather beat me almost unconscious and now denying 15 years of abuse on me and my brother. We were really affected when we realised that she will never apologise or even accept that it was also her fault for not doing anything about it.

Image credits: Halundaar

#4

Raising me as a Jehovah's Witness.

Image credits: Septopuss7

#5

not allowing me enough social freedom. Im gonna be 18 soon and i have no friends because i wasnt allowed to attend most social events. planning to go far away from for college to change this.

Image credits: alphaton777

#6

Abandoned my dog and [unalived] my rat with a brick.

My rat was old and dying, I wanted desperately for my mum to take him to the vets to be euthanized in the most painless way possible. She was too lazy (We have access to free veterinary care in the UK for families on benefits, so there was no excuse). She used a brick to [unalive] him...

Then my dog, he was a former fighting dog my auntie had rescued and given to us. My mum couldn't handle his antisocial behaviour. He never attacked anyone, but he was easily spooked and only really got along with me. One day, while I was at school she dumped him and I don't even know where. He was a good and emotionally sensitive dog that deserved a home.

This stuff paired with the fact she was an abusive person, who hit me and my siblings almost daily, is the reason I haven't spoken to her in 4+ years and don't intend on doing so ever again.

Image credits: Vile_Individual

#7

My mum sold my dog while I was at work. When I came home and was looking for them she told me that someone came to see him today and that they loved and took him.He went to a good home, but I never got to even say goodbye.

Edit: Appreciate all the love. After reading all your stories, I can say that I am unhappy that I am not alone in this

Image credits: Fenrizian

#8

I was 10 years old. I was given to a 34 year old man to be his third wife. My parents were so happy because it was a great "honour" to them that I was chosen out of all of the girls there to be with the man that was second in charge.

Image credits: lika-kiki-no

#9

I was sexually abused by my grandfather constantly for years. Its one of my earliest memories.
Later in life I found out that he did something to my older brother before I was even born. They stayed away from him briefly after that but then carried on as if nothing happened because they didn't want to cause an issue.

Edit: I want to thank everyone who has commented. I cant describe how much it has meant for me to recieve so much love and care.
I feel very alone most of the time so I'm going to remind myself that this proves that there are caring people out there.
❤️

Image credits: HidingBehindTheSmile

#10

After 10 years of promising me the house in exchange for living and taking care of them. Mom decided after a fight to give half the house to the man who tried to [unalive] me in my own home - my brother.

B***h still doesn't understand why my wife and kids moved 300k away from her and that psychopath.

Image credits: Elfere

#11

For breaking each and every promise they made, and trying to control me like a puppet. Otherwise they're good tho

Image credits: Vip3rX01

#12

Probably that I ended up being the mediator between my mom and dad as they went through a divorce and one side was being frustrating to communicate with than the other.


So I in part had to act as a go between information and nagging them to communicate for stuff like medical bills and insurance and school payment stuff from 7-15 or so.

Image credits: Hellsoul0

#13

Ignoring my obvious ADHD in spite of the fact that they were aware of how much I struggled. I got good grades and wasn't hyper, so it didn't matter!

Image credits: purritowraptor

#14

They taught me very bad eating habits that have made it super hard for me to stay at a healthy weight. I am absolutely working at, and succeeding in teaching my children better eating habits.

Image credits: djdeforte

#15

Uhhhh lemme think for a second…

- my mom being proud to break a brand new wooden spoon by spanking me
- both of them forcing me to clear the plate no matter what was on it, if I liked it or not, if I was full or not. Lost the ability to feel if I’m full…
- both of them insult me (stuff like “you’re too stupid to take a s**t” if I made minor mistakes, for example dropped something while eating)
- my father SAing me
- my mother saying she would get a divorce after I told her but she never did until she died
- my fathers attempt to strangle me on the day I moved out

Yeah… that’s about it

#16

They beat the s**t out of me. Sent me to school with bruises. Threatened to have my sister's split from me if I ever told anyone what they did to us. Now my bio mom tries to guilt trip my sister's into convincing me to let her and her s****y husband back in my life.

Aside from that they also [hurt] our dog, poisoned my squirrel and cut my sister's guinea pigs head off.

But I'm the unhinged and unstable person.

Some people should never have children.

Image credits: im4lonerdottie4rebel

#17

They made me drop every single hobby I got into because studying came first. I learned to hide my enthusiasm from them because of this. Even today I never show how excited I am for something I do or buy. I feel like I am unable to enjoy things to the fullest because of it.

Image credits: eXclurel

#18

Force me to give all my original star wars and action man toys to my little cousins.. which they absolutely destroyed within 3 months.

Would be worth a fortune now.


EDIT : I had no idea what I said would connect with people of my age.. for the record I had about 75-80 original Star Wars figures.. all with original added weapons and in great condition, but not in original packaging.

The ships and vehicles I owned were all in original packaging and great condition. About 7 of em.

I’ve also remembered as well I gave them about 30 original late 70’s early 80’s subbuteo teams in original green slide off boxes away as well.. but that was to the son of the guy that had gifted them to me.. so they weren’t really mines

Image credits: Dazzling-Wash9086

#19

Honestly, it would be the toxicity and overprotective nature of my parents. The way that I grew up made me feel as though I didn’t have anyone to lean back into, and it sure as hell didn’t help how my dad always made me feel worst about myself, and the constant need to prove myself and to try to be better. And my dad being overprotective made me not have a lot of friends, which screwed up my social skills.

As a result, I sucked pretty bad at school and didn’t have a lot of friends. I remember how when my parents used to fight back then, I’d just hide away in my way room playing video games or with legos, just to stay away from my family.

I guess because of how my childhood went, I don’t think I can really forgive my parents because of how much it would mess me up later on in my life. I still suffer from having an inferiority complex and can’t appreciate the things I’ve been able to accomplish. I’ve gotten better but it’s still hard. I respect my parents these days, because of they changed towards me, but I still can’t forgive them completely for how things have went. I could never have a heart to heart conversation with my dad about the things he’s done and I think that’s why I can only say that I love my dad, but I don’t like him.

Image credits: UltraConic

#20

My dad used to tell us all the time how my step mom was the most important person in his life and how he wished he never had kids. When he was dying his wife was already moved on to her next man and didn’t even go see him the day he died because “she had other stuff she needed to do first.” I’ll never forgive him for putting her above us.

Image credits: rosieree

#21

my entire life my mom has always talked about “wanting me to have my own life”. when i finally moved out to live with my then girlfriend, she decided to write me a letter. it detailed how if i still lived with her, she could have done so many things for me (like getting me a car). she then wrapped the letter up with saying me being born ruined her life. now she wonders why our relationship is so bad.

Image credits: navyblue013

#22

Kicking me out the day after my 18th birthday because I turned 18. And now constantly calling me a failure for not finishing college (had to drop out because I couldn’t afford that/rent/transportation anymore) and telling me to do better

Image credits: AkKik-Maujaq

#23

He held a knife to my 12 year old brothers throat and threatened to [unalive] him. Abandoned multiple family dogs on the side of the road. Abuse of each other in front of me. She put her fist through the China cabinet in front of me. Blood everywhere. I was 5. I moved across the country. He is now gone, and I have no contact with her.

Image credits: hunterravioli

#24

When my son was first born, his grandpa on his dads side sent me 500 dollars to get through the month. I told my mom this and she asked me if I could help her pay one of her bills. I said yes, but that I would need it back eventually because I needed formula. I wasn’t working at this time and I was a 19 year old single mom. She agreed and said that was fine. End of the month rolls around and when I asked for the money back (it was 80 dollars) my mom went off, ended up messaging my sons grandpa and said “You don’t need to give her anymore money. She doesn’t manage it well because now she can’t even afford formula.” I guess I’ve forgiven her but it really irks me even 4 years later.

#25

My mom left my bro and I behind to go be a m*thhead while lying to people about having cancer. I've confronted her, told her to show proof of the cancer. Nothing. She gets cancer every five to ten years without going to the doctors.

Image credits: ShazBishop

#26

They told me I could buy what I wanted since I had a job. Even so I was very careful with my spending because I didn't want them getting mad that I bought something "useless". One day I told them I was gonna buy a secondhand psp for my birthday and asked them if it was okay. They said it's fine because it's my money after all. Still I kept asking them just to make sure it's fine and that they promised they won't chew me out for it later. Sure enough I bought it and had my first personal game console.

Then a year later we got into an argument because my parents weren't satisfied with the money I was giving them. Then they brought up the psp I bought last year and chewed me out for spending on useless stuff like that instead of buying branded clothes to show off to our relatives. I will never be able to forgive them for that. They broke their promise and I was now in the very situation I was trying to avoid back then.

Anyways after that I just started buying whatever I want without telling them or lying about the price.

Image credits: YuuHikari

#27

My dad tried to commit suicide when I was a baby. That alone is bad enough but he tried to take me with him. My grandfather came to the house and basically told him "If you give up on life, that's your choice, but you aren't taking my grandson with you!"


I miss you, grandpa.

#28

About to get pretty dark here lmao

But my childhood was pretty s**t. My parents have always had drug issues and it got to the point where they just locked my little sister and I in our room, and they'd just bring us plates of food but they'd never clean up any old food, and us being young kids, food got everywhere. It got to the point where we literally had maggots in our beds.

They kept my brother in a dark room all by himself and I remember as a baby/newborn he had to have breathing treatments because it really affected him, and they'd smoke in the house all the time.

Our grandmother got custody of us, thankfully but it really stuck with me. I was old enough to remember most of everything (I'm 5 years older than my sister, and 7 years older than my brother, so I was 7-8 or so around that time) it really f****d me up lmao.

My little sister was old enough to remember some stuff, and there was that weird middle child thing, but my parents treated her more like a friend than anything, when she was a teenager they'd do drugs and s**t with her. She really got into a bad path and she wasn't able to get off it, I tried to help her and I still feel guilty because I should have done more, but she did what she wanted to and didn't think she had a problem. About 4 years ago, she was killed in a mass shooting that was guns/drug related, it was some stupid little "gang" (gang as in dumb AF kids from a really small town who thought they were badasses) but they went and shot up the place and unfortunately she had been living there at the time and she was one of the victims. She had just turned 21 a couple of days before.

I'll always feel so guilty because I wish I could have done more to help her and I'll always have that regret.

#29

One morning in 2002, my Dad woke me up for school, but I obviously fell back asleep. I've had big periods of insomnia since I was a child, but instead of recognising that when he came back into the room and saw me asleep again, he grabbed me by the hair, dragged me out of my room and slammed me onto the hallway floor. My Mum said nothing. It's been 21 years and that memory still haunts me.

#30

Mother repeatedly saying " I have to raise my boys and I love your brothers but I don't love you." Told this at age 8 ,9,10 and so on my birthday and many times throw out the year . Never given a birthday party while 3 brothers had blowouts every year . Left on 16th birthday after I made sure whole family heard her this time.
Mom was jeckle and hide , never been back.found out mom told brothers i was evil and never to talk to me . Ain't talked to them since don't even know if there still alive .

Image credits: Yura-ahole

#31

Taking back an abusive partner who hated me even after telling the world all the horrible s**t she did. It became clear to me that I could be a perfect angel and successful and I would never be as good as a drunken, circular saw-wielding maniac who took her hatred of my other parent out on me, constantly made personal attacks, denies she ever did anything wrong and brainwashed my mother into defending her actions. Then when I called her out for her behavior, she accused me of being homophobic.

When her b***h of a partner dies, I guarantee she’ll be all over me. But she will get no favor from me.

Image credits: GoodToe4691

#32

I overhead my father telling friends that my mother had f****d up raising me but they were doing a much better job with my little sister.

#33

My mom taught me my whole life that my worth is only determined by the way I look, my weight, the way I carry myself, how "lady like" I present myself. She instilled fear into me at such a young age, that as long as I was fat, I'd never find love, I'd never find a good job, I'd never have children. Dragging me to and from doctors to find "what was wrong with me" because I was "fat". Grounding me for weeks at a time because I didn't lose the amount of weight she wanted me too.
Now as an adult woman, I struggle so incredibly hard with my self worth and self confidence. Trying to separate her words and thoughts from my own, as I've never had an original thought about myself. The anxiety, depression, and self harm that rooted from this should've taken my life years ago.
She's my mother, and as hard as it may be for others to understand, I love her. I've come along ways with setting boundaries with her and putting my foot down.

As for my father, he never spoke up for me. He just turned a blind eye.

I've felt so out of place in my family for as long as I can remember.

I'll heal one day, but it won't be anytime soon. Just love your f*****g kids for who they are, unconditionally.

#34

I don't think I could ever forgive my dad for his excessive drinking and calling me God awful names, threatening to call the cops on me for arguing with him or not finding his bag of nuts (while drunk), and chasing me out of my own home after I gave him a place to stay twice.

It's alot of s**t he did to me as a kid, except he threatened to send me to a psych ward. Putting me back there after he apologized about it only to do it again tells me he won't ever change.

Image credits: TrailerCowboy

#35

… Among other things, “holding on” to gift money from relatives and such that I got on birthdays or Christmas or whatever. When I wanted to collect, I was either gaslighted about it existing in the first place, or reminded how I should be grateful for all the things they give and do for me.

When I’m older, if I ever give money to a kid as a gift, I’ll tell them to hide it from their parents.

#36

I had a pet bunny, but my parents wouldn't let me keep him inside. It was really cold one night and I begged my dad to let me keep it inside. When he finally said okay, I went looking for him in the dark, found him under our storage shed, he was dead. My dad made me pull him out from under the shed, hold him in my lap as we went for a long drive, so that we could dump him on some side of the road.

#37

My stepdad sent me to jail because I defended my mother from him

#38

After their divorce, my mom tried to convince my brother and me that our dad never wanted us and never loved us.

My dad is the sweetest man. I'll never fully forgive my mom. She said some more f****d up s**t too. I know she was just heartbroken and tried to hurt him, but that is no excuse to hurt your kids in the process.

#39

They both used me and my siblings to attack and hurt each other. Instead of realizing that we should come first, they selfishly made the divorce about themselves and their happiness at the expense of the other and apparently the kids. Everyone was much worse off in the end

Divorce sucks but when you have kids, try to make them as comfortable and secure as possible while being mature adults. My relationship skills are f****d because of them

#40

Not believing me when I came home from my first year of Uni & said I wasn't on drugs.
I was clinically depressed & suicidal, but they said my 'weird behaviour' was because I must be on drugs. I've never knowingly taken anything, even 20years later. No matter what I said or did, they wouldn't believe me or help me.
It took a friend at Uni intervening & getting me some professional help before I could cope again.

#41

My father would always baby my younger sister. Even when she turned 8, she still relied on my father to feed her and shower her. She is now completely dependent on my father and can't do anything for herself. This caused serious attention problems with my younger brother, who was a middle child, and middle children commonly get less attention than the oldest and youngest. (Although my father never cared much for me either.) I'm grateful that my mother was able to try and give us the attention we needed, even if she was the only parent that worked full time.

Image credits: iimochabear

#42

Apparently it was illegal to have my door closed and blinds closed when im in my room in my parents house. I never did drugs but that didnt stop them from repeatedly searching my room like a swat team and scolding me over a f****n cookie wrapper.

Whenever i did poorly in hs/college i felt like i was failing them not myself. For one reason or another this led to a depression spiral and i dropped out of college after only 1 year.

Theyre not monsters, after i finally told them how i felt they got their act together somewhat. I went back and graduated college with a degree in computer science. I now live in an apartment with my best friends ever and have a great job and am enjoying life, but if it came to it, i would pay every cent i have to not ever live with my parents ever again. They didnt mean to haunt me its just their style of parenting was… dont think, act.

Still stuffering from body image issues they passed on to me, and i do need to lose 25 pounds, but lets just say old habits die hard.

#43

Took my dog to the pound.
I left my dog with them when I moved out of home since she was used to living there and I was moving into a small rental. I went to visit then a few months ago and she wasn't there, they'd surrendered her to the dog's home saying she was too much work. Little dogs get adopted fast so it was too late to get her back. I own my own home now and could have taken her.

#44

My mom told me she was glad I was going to school all day the next year, since I wouldn't be wasting space at home. I had just been sexually abused and couldn't get out of bed when I came back home from school.

#45

Dad invited his nephew who was fresh out of jail for killing his own father, to stay at our place for a while. I was 3 at the time and he sexually abused me multiple times, and my dad would still have him babysit me :^)

When my mom learned and wanted to take legal action he fought her all the way, because family is family. Thank god I have my mom, she fought for me before I was able to.

I don't remember a lot from it, because of cptsd but some of the things she has told me are horrifying and explains a whole lot now that I am older

#46

Give me crippling anxiety and worry I'll be a parent like they were. They were not monsters by any means and I had a lot more freedom than most of my generation. Just some things behind closed doors make me wish I'd grown up differently.

Image credits: FubsTheNugget

#47

When I was 11 my parents were going through a very messy divorce. My dad cheated and got his mistress pregnant and he manipulated me into being an accomplice to keep my mouth shut about it by telling me my mom would kill herself if she found out. I had a trip planned to Disneyland with my cousins and was dying of excitement.

Anyway, it all came out about my dad and his mistress and my mom wouldn’t let me go on the trip and paraded me around extended family making me tell them I lied and didn’t tell my mom about my dad cheating. I was 11.

I will never forgive either of my parents for that. I have been used so many times by my parents and forced to be their emotional support throughout my life. I don’t talk to my dad or his 2nd family at all and have little communication with my mom. I hate them for ruining my childhood. I hate them for causing me to be emotionally stunted, I hate them so f*****g much for making me parent myself and othet siblings. They can’t tell me they did the best they could. They KNEW they were f*****g me over.

#48

My mom ran out on the family when I was a kid. For a time she lived a couple miles away, and yet, I'd see her maybe once or twice a year. Ok, I forgave her and tried rebuilding a relationship with her when I was in college / my early to mid 20s. At that point she lived far away, but I would go see her here and there. Well, she decided to live a certain bohemian lifestyle, and decided to get rid of all of her animals including a cat and a dog that were elderly that she had since they were very young, AND, she got rid of multiple younger cats. Just so she could live this lifestyle of hers (and she could have taken them) for a year or two, grow tired of it, move a few hours away from where I live / grew up, settle down and get more animals.

I cannot forgive her for that. I forgave her for abandoning my siblings and I, but, about 15 years later doing the same thing with all of her animals, I cannot forgive that. A tiger does not change its stripes, and apparently my mom did not change.

I would never abandon my dogs like that. no matter what.

Also, several years ago one of my siblings was going through a tough time financially. He asked her for a couple hundred, and she declined. Then within a week bought a big new truck and a brand new grill, and posted it all over social media. This woman never paid child support / gave any of my siblings or i money, ever... so... yeah. I cannot forgive that either.

I still call her on big holidays, talk for a couple of minutes and then go about my separate life devoid of her. The only reason I do this is to be a good person and for good karma, otherwise, I'd be 100% no contact.

#49

Teaching me that drinking soda like it's water is ok

Image credits: 80rexij

#50

As a teen, I was out doing the food shopping with my Mum. In the middle of the freezer aisle she did the most rancid IBS fart I can ever remember, and then started very loudly exclaiming "babyscratch, that's so disgusting. I can't believe you just did that". The more I protested, the more guilty I looked to everyone else in the shop. I could've died from embarrassment.

#51

I got in an argument with my step-dad over grades in hs and he pulled the car over on the side of the road and threatened to beat me if I didn't get out, so did. And ofc he left me on the side of the highway in Alaska with nothing near by Andromeda 35 miles aw a cop saw me and asked if my parents abandoned me keep in mind I lived in Small town Alaska. Tjis cop was friends with my step dad who was a paramedic so I told a bold faced lie to keep him from involving cps. 4 hours later my mom came by and told me my step dad had called the grocery store and had them page her on the speakers to call home and he told her to pick me up. When she did I chtold her what happened and then demanded she admit that what he d I'd was wrong
I mean who leaves a teenage girl on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere? O Aldo told her tp either tell meot was wrong for him to threatened beat me.(he had already physically abused me) instead of admitting he was wrong , she took his side in our initial argument and then doubled down on her refusal to admit he was at all in the wrong. That was the day I stopped trusting her and there is no forgiveness in my heart for her

#52

Stole our money. We lived on a veal farm so all of us kids — 7 total — were forced to work & we didn’t receive weekly allowances. It was once or twice a year, & like $10 or $20 at most. Then when we were teens, they wouldn’t let us work cos they needed us to do the free labor so when we were allowed to pick ginseng — which is backbreaking work — for under the table money, we were so happy. Parents lied & said we can keep it in their “bank” & they will “save” it for us. They wrote our balance down on a piece of paper for us to keep track. I asked to withdraw my money once so that I can buy Christmas gifts for the fam & all they said was that the paper was gone & since they don’t know how much I had, it was too bad so sad. We never saw those money again.

#53

Put down our family dog without consulting me or my brother. We were both living together in our first appartment and both were out of town, just for 2 days tho. They could have given us the chance to say farewell or at least give us a call that they are going to put him down.

We never got to say goodbye.

#54

Having me in the first place.

#55

Convinced me that turning on the car's interior light while driving is illegal.