Humans are complex creatures. Some are like an open book, but there are also those whose personalities you won’t crack for months, if not years. 

When it comes to narrow-minded, rude, and selfish people, usually, it’s all pretty noticeable at first sight – however, circling back to the whole “hidden characteristics” malarkey, some do an outstanding job masking their jerky selves. So, wouldn’t it be great to know the subtle signs that can help you identify the type of people that shouldn’t be a part of your life? 

More info: Reddit 1 | Reddit 2

#1

Halfway through the grocery store, in the middle of the rice aisle, or somewhere equally warm, they suddenly decide they don't need the frozen / refrigerated item in their cart after all, and rather than returning it to where they found it, they instead choose to just leave it on the shelf. There is nothing preventing them from putting it back in the cooler / freezer, but they're actively making the choice to allow fish, raw meat, milk / ice cream, or whatever else to sit in the open air, and spoil.

Image credits: IdespiseGACHAgames

#2

The Waiter Test. The person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter isn't nice person. This also applies to cashiers, counter help, hotel clerks, custodians, security guards and everyone else in similar positions.

HOWEVER, don't apply the waiter test the first time you meet someone. Wait until they've been around you a few times and are comfortable in their skin around you. The first few times they are on their best behavior.

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#3

Every time you interact with them, you feel worse than before.

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#4

Never saying sorry. We are people. We make mistakes. And even if we didn't mean to, our words and behavior can hurt other people's feeling. Just say sorry and move on, it's not a big deal. But if someone is refusing to do so, it is a red flag to me.

Image credits: Taiyo_K

#5

when they promote toxic positivity. like the people that go "what are you depressed for? you're alive, you get to see the earth with your eyes." when you actually need professional help. one of my exes used to be like this, he would dismiss me everytime i told him that i might need to visit a therapist. he would tell me how being born and getting to live is a reason enough to not be depressed. after our breakup, i heard he used to and still promotes that therapy is useless. f**k you, i'm way better now that i took my anti depressants

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#6

When they talk s**t behind everyone's back but have what I like to call a sticky sweet personality to their face. I know some people like that

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#7

I’m a man but anyone who pressures you to take a condom off sucks. They don’t respect you and are light weight creepy. Keep that s**t wrapped up boys and girls don’t let anyone tell you what is and isn’t comfortable. Yes it is way worse with a condom on but if thems the rules that’s the rules.

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#8

When they regularly make negative comments and claim it's just a joke or criticism. Usually about the way you dress, talk, etc.

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#9

When they make everything about them.

An ex best friend and I used to work together, and used to car pool. I got made redundant and was so upset. I rang her to tell her the news, looking for comfort, and she said: ‘How am I supposed to get into work now?’

Should have walked then…it would have saved a lot of stress.

Edit: Guys, she was not neurodivergent, just an a*****e. I am riddled head to toe with ADHD, so I understand that sometimes our brains react a little differently.

We were friends for 7 years and it took me a long time to realise that all she cared about was herself. She used to break into my phone and read my messages, she read my diary, she would ghost me for days but kick off when I wasn’t available to see her…she even slept with my ex bf. The saddest part is that the friendship only fell apart when I gained self-respect and set some boundaries. She was a narcissist.

I know you have great intentions, but stop adding imaginary context when I am telling you this person was an almighty a*****e.

Image credits: Hot_potatoos

#10

Only nice to hot women, not average or ugly ones

Image credits: CapitalChemical1

#11

Sitting in someone else’s seat before a flight hoping it’s empty and then trying to convince you switch seats with them. Lady I’m 6’5 and paid extra for this aisle seat I’m not sitting in the middle.

Image credits: dynomite-cigar

#12

You feel the need to be careful with how and what you say to them because they'll twist words to make you sound like the bad guy. Too many "misunderstandings" can make you extremely conscious of yourself and make you walk on eggshells

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#13

They are very concerned with making sure you know they're a good person.

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#14

When they’re always the victim in conflicts with friends, coworkers, etc.

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#15

If they disrespect people's boundaries, no matter how small or simple they are.

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#16

They say you’re wrong for getting upset at their wrong behavior.

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#17

They always expect something in return, no matter what.

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#18

Anything you say to them can and will be used against you, but subtly.

Image credits: kookycandies

#19

If they constantly use their trauma as an excuse for everything bad they're doing. Also, using trauma for guilt triping when they want to get something.

Image credits: MacaroonEven2670

#20

If someone makes fun of someone smiles or laughter. My mom used to tell me how werid my smile was and say it was annoying when I laughed it's a s****y thing to do.

Edit: thanks everyone for the support and I'm sorry to hear some of your stories. I also want to mention that there's a difference between disliking someone's laughter and making fun of it, I've personally heard laughs that I've thought were a bit strange but that thought stays in my head were belongs were it can only effect me.

Image credits: Dudebrohoe

#21

Commenting on someone’s eating habits or laughing even to yourself when someone says something serious

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#22

I live in Los Angeles so this happens a lot but basically whenever you talk to somebody, and it’s all about them all the time. You give your point of view or interject something about yourself and they immediately dismiss it and go back to them.

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#23

My Ex slowly lost all of her friends over-time. She'd make new ones and then somehow burn those bridges too.

She also used to gossip and talk s**t about everyone she knew, including me. At least one friend who I never met thought I was scum because of what she said about me

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#24

Constant interruption of anything you say or do.

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#25

“I’m sorry you feel that way”

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#26

They put other people down as a 'way to show their affection'. I loved a girl who did that, and she turned out to be a stone cold a*****e, and a narcissist

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#27

Being constantly late for my activities but ready on time for theirs

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#28

They are dismissive of people who can do nothing for them

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#29

When they apologize during a conflict, they get angry if that doesn't immediately end the conflict because they never truly felt sorry and their only goal was to escape repercussion. This will become evident when the behavior they had apologized for keeps happening and never improves.

signed, someone who has been on both sides of this equation

#30

They don't understand the importance of Parity in a relationship. You can't always take and never give.

Image credits: NickDanger3di