Those who venture into the dating arena know there’s a popular notion that "opposites attract". Now, matching with someone who leads a different life is definitely exciting, and your differences may complement each other at first. But with time, you'll definitely recognize the struggle of dating a person who basically lives on an alternate planet. Especially when they lead a luxurious lifestyle separated from you by a yawning wealth gap.

It's no secret that the enviable wealth of the super-Rich makes them seem worlds away from the lives we lead. And it’s easy to think that finding someone well-off is a cure-all for all your troubles. But that’s not always the case.

So what does it mean if you’re dating someone wealthy and you’re well, poor? There’s one viral 'Ask Reddit' thread that may just give us the answer. After Redditor zipzap21 reached out to the community and invited them to share what they’ve learned from the experience, people were eager to offer us mere mortals a peek into what goes on behind the scenes. Below, we gathered some of the most illuminating responses they shared, so continue scrolling! Be sure to upvote the most surprising ones and share your own experiences with us in the comments.

#1

My wife's family has no concept of what a workday is.

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#2

He didn’t have any concept of saving money, it was always just there because his money was always earning money. Having money was an income stream of itself. Also he had no concept of how much anything cost. Was going to get some groceries for dinner and he gave me $300 to pick up some basics.

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#3

I learned just how productive having money can be. Something needs to be fixed/ replaced? We can afford to. Want to do something fun or adventurous? Sure let's do it now. Want to eat healthier? We can afford all the ingredients.

Like what do you mean your life isn't slowed down by a million different things that need fixing/ upgrading/ replacing/ saved for?

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#4

Dated a man who didn't work - lived off of a TrustFund. Oddly, since he could afford nearly anything - nothing had any value. He'd buy a $400 KitchenAid mixer - and burn it up making Christmas candy the first week. If he decided to make more candy - he'd just go buy another $400 mixer. Nothing meant particularly ANYTHING to him.

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#5

How much easier it is to make money when you already have money.

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#6

I only went on one date with him. He booked out the entire bowling alley so we'd have privacy for our date. It just seemed so shockingly wasteful to me, and it was bizarre to have a 20-lane bowling alley just to the two of us plus a fair sized staff who were left with nothing to do but look after us. I learned I'm very uncomfortable with that level of casual assumption that the world will rearrange itself to suit my whims.

Also he had absolutely no respect for personal space. I don't think he was used to women not liking to be touched by folks they barely knew.

Image credits: MerylSquirrel

#7

How real the 'network' or 'bubble' of it is.

It's like the other side from the 'it's expensive being poor' concept. It's this weird internal community of people with money, and thus power, who are willing to make things happen as long as you're 'in'. I mean, I would meet people at a fundraiser or something and five minutes later, they're happy to make a call that will get me a job at some huge firm. Or like, my then-boyfriend would say let's go this concert. Tickets are $180 but it's okay but a friend's parents have a box, so we'll just join them. Or even one time the dishwasher in our flat broke - but we didn't have to pay a dime for repairs, because his friend from high school's parents own the building, so they're fixing it for free as a favour.

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#8

My ex was having problems with roommates at university. Her parents bought a $300000 condo for her to stay at while she finished her degree (2 years). They sold it for a profit immediately after. I can't imagine not only being able to solve my problems with money, let alone make more off of them. She also assumed her family was lower middle class because she didn't live in a mansion like her friends. She was very humble and was smart with her money, but it was very clear she could just call her parents if something didn't work out. Meanwhile my parents were struggling to pay rent, meaning I was their fallback. Not the other way around

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#9

My ex-wife had a grandfather that was a multi-millionaire. Christmas time at their house was like being in another world.

All of the different family members would try to get a moment with the King and kissed a*s as much as possible.

I spent my time down on the ground playing with my kids and was happy to get out of there.

About a week or two after the second Christmas I got a phone call from Grandpa. He wanted to know what he could do for my family.

I told him I didn't want any of his money but I would like my kids to know their great grandfather.

Later that year he showed up at our place unexpected and spent most of the afternoon telling stories with me about his youth.

He set up a trust fund for each one of my kids to have their college paid for a little bit after that.

He told me out of all of his in-laws I was the only one that never asked him for anything but to be himself.

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#10

I dated two dudes with trust funds.

I learned no amount of money can make you forget your mommy/daddy issues.

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#11

Just made me realise how expensive being poor is. They never have debt, never need to look at their balance too see if they can buy food, never pay interest on overdue bills etc.

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#12

Money has no meaning and so therefore your money has no value either. He drove a Porsche and on one date he forgot his wallet. I don’t mind paying my share but I had to fill up his car then pay for an expensive dinner and pay for cinema and snacks etc. He was clueless that the one date and stuffed my finances for a month. I was barely out of university and barely scrimping by.

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#13

Dated this wealthy girl who instantly had an anxiety attack when I told her I was thinking about buying my own car, she believed I'd break up with her because I won't need her car anymore. Make your own conclusions.

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#14

If you have a lot of money, people give you so much free stuff all the time trying to earn your business or procure donations. Ironic that the people who can best afford to pay for the items get comped the most!

Image credits: redbradbury

#15

Dated a girl for 3 years who came from old money.

She was fine but her family was beyond out of touch with the real world. They were nice people but incredibly removed from the rest of the world. They looked at me like I was zoo animal in the sense that they were so curious about my life/family. They'd ask me what it was like going to public school. How my parents immigrated. They were baffled that not everyone had vacation homes or traveled a lot.

The most interesting thing is that old money is much more powerful than new money. They belonged to these "clubs" that consists of other rich families and the influence they had was mind-blowing. Want to build a factory in an area not zoned for it? Within a week that was changed.

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#16

Well, I wasn't that poor, and she wasn't that rich, but it was enough of a difference that I was shocked at how often she just took planes. Like, she flew more in a summer than I had my whole life.

That and apparently they go to Hawaii for a week every year, which was fun the time I got to tag along, but it's pretty wild to me that they can just do that. Even if I could afford it, I don't have enough vacation time to do that every year.

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#17

Spent first 8 years of my adult life with a woman whose parents had money.

She had no conception of how hard life could be if you couldn’t just sell stocks to buy a new car, or have someone give you a couple thousand to put you up in a new place.

She pocketed her paycheck every two weeks. When we went out, I paid for gas. I bought dinner. Didn’t think much about it at the time because we were engaged.

When we broke up, she had $30k in her savings account and I was broke.

Growing up with money is like hitting every green light and not having to worry about traffic jams.

And it really f***s with your ability to empathize with people.

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#18

I've thought about this a lot as someone who grew up poor, but has been in a number of relationships with women from upper or upper middle class castes. I think what it boils down to is that they have a kind of certainty in the idea that things will work out for them that I don't. Growing up, it felt like we were always at the precipice of catastrophe. I always felt that one wrong move would result in us losing our house or all of our money. As such, I kept immaculate care of things that I bought knowing that I could not replace any of it if it were gone. The women I've been in relationships with, though, seem to have none of this fear. They always assume that things will work out. Plans don't need to be made because there's always some way to solve a problem with money. Objects don't get much respect because they're always readily replaceable. I always think about Nick Carraway's quote from *The Great Gatsby*: "They were careless people, Tom and Daisy--they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made."

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#19

They don't really have a concept of how rich they are. My ex boyfriend was WEALTHY, but had a complex about how he was super poor. It was because all of his friends were also so wealthy, and he was maybe marginally less rich than some of them, he considered himself on the lower end of the scale. They don't really have a point of reference for how poor some people are. When we were together I was living on a food budget of £50 a month, and he absolutely could not wrap his head around how a person could spend that little.

I lived with a horrendously rich friend, his family are aristocracy in his home country. One thing I've noticed about him is that he's completely incapable of grasping that if I stop working, I just stop being able to eat. He was confused about why I was worried about taking a week off work, and didn't understand I was worried I'd lose money. He seemed to think that most people work because they choose to, because he's never *had* to work.

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#20

Wife's family comes from money and I come from broke AF. There's probably a new "that's weird, why would you do that?" every week. This will appear for things like forgetting hamburger buns and giveing the kids a burger on Wonder bread or whipping up a batch of spaghetti noodles to go with chili.

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#21

I’m not poor, but I dated a guy for four years that had a wildly wealthy father. Private jets, extremely expensive cars, giant homes, paid for his children’s veneers/plastic surgeries, employed them all, etc.

They were the most miserable, unhappy people I’ve ever had the displeasure of being around. It completely changed my view of the very rich and the facade they put on. Not a single interaction with his family was without a fight, argument, screaming match, and jabs/cruelty towards one another and myself. I was so uncomfortable around them and my ex was so obsessed with pleasing his father that I had to end the relationship. The money was nice but I would absolutely never, ever willingly associate with any of them again. They were terrible people. Very unhappy.

#22

I'm a guy who has dated women considerably wealthier than myself. My experience is that money becomes a factor sooner or later, no matter how closely you've connected on every other level. Even when the lady in question seems cool with it, there can be arch looks and withering comments from friends and family in social settings - about what you've just ordered for dinner, or what your holiday plans are. In those relationships I've ended up being made to feel like a "bottleneck" - I'm either the person who the woman spends money on more than vice versa, or the person whose income puts more restraint on evenly-shared expenditure than would otherwise be the case.

In either scenario, there's pressure, and even if the woman seems fine with it, there are people around her who no doubt would claim they're "just looking out for her" who will cheerfully flag every instance where the difference in income is apparent. Money doesn't **have** to warp people, but it seems it often does, whether it's actually their own money or not.

#23

Being rich automatically puts you in a slight position of power. I learned that the rich people that have to tell everyone they are rich every 5 seconds usually abuse that power. The rich that don't feel the need to tell everyone, tend to make better decisions eith how they treat people and handle themselves. The good ones are usually self made.

#24

They live in a mindset that someone else will take care of it. My ex's family had money. He did not. Told him that one month there was no money for food in my budget and he'd have to hand some over for it. He told me he had none and I'd have to fix the problem. Then he went on to describe for me in detail a toy he was saving money for. Asked him how much the toy would cost. He had $200 set aside to buy this toy that wasn't going to launch for more than 3 months. But he wouldn't touch it for food. I literally could not get it through to his head that there was no money for food, and no food NOW. It did not compute at all. Had him take me to local food banks. He did not come in. He went shopping while I was filling out paperwork for food. Came out of the food bank to find he'd dropped $80 on a book. "That money was from what I had set aside to buy new books."

#25

They don't know how to cut back because they only knew the good life. No sweetheart, we don't need 3 vacations a year when you are f*****g unemployed.

#26

Grew up poor (now middle class) and at 18 dated a superrich guy. First thing I noticed was the food. Not just quantities but I also discovered so much food (like oyster, fresh fish, olives,..) things my parents could never buy.

I also had to learn etiquette. My parents brought me up well, I read books all the time, was a decent student and well-behaved kid.. but the way his family interacted was SO different. I had to learn a lot of unwritten rules that I wasn’t aware of.

I think in the end what I actually learned was that even though my childhood was rough (the amount of stress of not having enough money has probably impacted me for life), I valued my parents so much more. Once I had seen what life was like for rich people, I was just so proud of my family for making it work with so much less.

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#27

My ex’s family wasn’t super rich, but they were much richer than my family.

Their kids (including my ex) expected things to be handed to them. I learned that it was a good thing my parents didn’t (couldn’t) give me everything I wanted. For example, my ex was upset that his parents bought his sister a nicer car than him. They are all full grown adults.

His mom was very confused why my parents couldn’t just pay to put me through college. They made me feel bad about it, like as if my parents didn’t love me because they couldn’t pay for it. Their idea of love=money.

A major reason our relationship ended was because he expected everything to be done for him. He has no real sense of responsibility.

#28

In my experience they tend to be very untrusting of anyone. Doesn't make for the best relationships.

#29

Health care is looked at the same way as maintenance on a car. It isn't looked at like waiting for something to break before seeing someone about it.

Wealth is very quiet. No logos. Pretty, monochrome clothes but tailored. No bragging about money or throwing it around. A pretty strict sense of manners and etiquette. They're not going to be shouting over everyone in the restaurant or twerking in the booths.

#30

"Old" money will never get it. They're on a different plane of existence, like it or not.

#31

I've become friends with some very wealthy people. Their children, even if they are "good people" are more often than not completely clueless about the real world. Like they can't envision living without the money so they don't understand why people are upset about getting fired or struggling to pay bills.

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#32

Mine’s a bit on the positive side I guess.
I grew up dirt poor and I guess got to a point where I couldn’t dream big. My family is still poor.

I dated a guy who not only was a trust fund baby but he also had a job as chief engineer and was making over $250k a year from that job. He didn’t need the money. I was making $70k.

He’d organise spontaneous holidays overseas and fun weekend activities that cost money. Told me to leave my card at home. Then in the short time we dated, he coached me into how to get a better paying job. Helped me learn and understand my worth and the value of my education and experience.

While dating him I quit my $70k job and landed a $100k one, then broke into the $200k a few years later.

Now I have money and can take my parents and siblings on holiday as well as put my siblings through university and help them out.

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#33

Dating a arab woman from a billionaire family. Most of their money came from investments made over a hundred years ago. The OG split his gains between his sons and daughters who went on to start their own businesses and investments. The train has been rolling since then. Definitely learned a lot about generational wealth from her and her folks.

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#34

That we're hardly even playing the same game, nevermind by the same rules.

I dated a girl from old money, generational inherited wealth. Grandpa's money, some corporate bigwig banker or something to that effect. I don't think her father ever worked a day in his life, and her mother clearly came from money as well. Outside of her, I found every one of her family members out of touch and completely unrelatable. I got real good at biting my tongue when my ex's siblings would complain about not getting a new car for their birthday when last year's model is sitting in the driveway. They had no concept of the value of money and never had to do anything for themselves to get what they wanted. I wasn't exactly poor growing up, but for the most part if it wasn't strictly necessary for survival I didn't have it. It was really eye opening how everything was taken for granted. Those specific people would be helpless in the real world if they lost all their dough.

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#35

His parents had money, not him, because we were teens at the time. Even though his dad tried getting him to work to earn his money and not just give handouts it was still a very different mindset of he wanted a luxury lifestyle but wouldn’t go to work more than a couple days a week, dropped out of college with less than a semester - just couldn’t stick to things if it was too long delayed gratification. Meanwhile I was working 2 jobs and had a full courseload. My parents helped and I lived with them but we still scraped by and I had to pay for my own things.

I learned I was satisfied with a lot ‘less’ material things, I was better ready to be on my own than he was, and I had a higher work ethic / more realistic view of the world.

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#36

Only ever dated one guy (I’m a straight woman, if that matters) who had lots of money, so this is anecdotal, but he was very very sensitive about who paid for what. He was quite concerned about potentially being taken advantage of, so we ended up mostly splitting everything 50/50. We missed out on doing some fun stuff he wanted to do (shows, trips, etc.) because I couldn’t afford half. He seemed mildly resentful of my not making enough money to match him on these things. It was distracting and depressing and I got tired of feeling like I had to troubleshoot his insecurities. Relationship didn’t last long.

Before I get downvoted, let me say I do NOT expect either the man to pay for everything OR the person who has substantially more money to pay for everything. I think splitting costs of shared expenses is fair, but it does mean that those expenses are limited by the wallet of the person with the smaller income.

In my experience, the people with comfortable (as opposed to large) incomes tend to be much more relaxed about income disparity and are more willing to offer to close gaps.

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#37

Quality really does make a difference in everything from clothing to ingredients.

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#38

The difference between having money and having wealth.

You grew up poor and worked hard and finally got $10,000 in the bank and your income keeps you afloat? Cool. But that is nothing compared to a 50 acre family farm with a couple houses on it, several generations of inheritance that will fall in your lap someday. Family business or family connections to lucrative opportunities. Savings, investments, cash hidden in safes, piles of gold jewelry.

If they suddenly lost all their checking and savings accounts, they’d still be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars and wouldn’t have to worry even for a second where their next meal would come from.

Edit: also, owning cars you don’t even need or ever drive. Hoards of stuff sitting around cause you never had to move or sell stuff to buy food. Lines of credit being thrown at you.

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#39

You’ll miss the lake house more than them.

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#40

Not dated, but I grew up firmly middle class in a very rich area so most of my high school friends were from rich families.

What I found was that rich people can be weirdly stingy with money when it comes to certain things and just not care for other things. They'd spent nearly a 100 grand flying the entire family out to Disney World (from Europe) for a weekend but would the family car would be a 15 year old rusty minivan. One friend lived in a house with a swimming pool and a sauna in the basement, but his mom did the shopping at Lidl and Aldi.

#41

That rich parents tend to make for an emotionally stunted child. My first serious gf was the daughter of a successful London stockbroker. He was a complete s**t of a father and husband; emotionally distant and only knew how to reward his daughter financially, never emotionally. Outwardly to strangers he was charismatic and cheerful. I was privy to what went on behind closed doors and he really was a turd of a person.

She'll never want for money - I'm sure the stock portfolio he gradually built for her is paying off handomely - but she was cold and closed off emotionally because of his neglect and abuse, which were rooted in the idea that money was the only way to measure his success.

She had so many hangups because of this that it's difficult to pick just one example, though the one that sticks with me most is when on her 20th birthday some of her old school friends came to visit and we all went out for a meal. It was my first time putting faces to names I'd become familiar with over several years, and I was chatting to them in what I thought was a friendly way. I mean, if they were good enough to be her friends, that was good enough for me. It was a nice meal and everything seemed fine. The next day she was really upset and even more distant than usual, and after I pushed her for a reason she eventually admitted that she hated how I had spoken to her friends because "they're my friends, not yours". In her mind I should have interacted only with her and treated everybody else with curteous detachment.

Her mother was an overbearing Chinese mother, only married to the dad because she fell pregnant with my ex, I assume from a one night stand. She lived like a ghost; cooking meals and tending to chores while staying firmly out of sight. The few times I ever saw him speak directly to her, he showed her only disdain, treating her more like hired help than the mother of his child. He would spend his evenings in strip clubs, buying £1,000-a-bottle champagne and doing f**k knows what else.

He tolerated me as his daughter's boyfriend until he actually bothered to have a conversation with me and found out I came from a poor family. After that he basically treated me like a piece of dog s**t on the bottom of his shoe.

I felt sorry for my ex. She wasn't innocent herself, but given the dynamic between her parents and between her and her father, who she desperately wanted to please but knew that she probably never could unless she became as cold and cruel as he was, never really gave her a chance.

We didn't end on good terms - she cheated on me multiple times and rationalised it to herself long before I ever found out - but I hope she's doing well. Our relationship was never going to work out in the long run and I think we both knew it at the time, but she was my first love and we both learned a lot from the years we were together. I certainly picked up on a lot of potential red flags, which stopped me from putting myself into similar situations in the future.

#42

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure as f**k can help keep the stress at bay (which makes being happier easier)

#43

Both of the exceptionally rich men I dated were so out of touch with reality.


The detail that sticks out is that one of them just didn't know how to talk about anything else. I'd ask him about movies or books or music, and he had no opinions. And I could tell it made him uncomfortable not to have the upper hand in the conversation (I think he thought I was a pretty simple country girl, and was surprised that I had thoughts and opinions) so he'd fall back on asking me variations of "if money wasn't an issue, what would you..." just for him to say "well, I could make that happen for you" when I answered. Got old real fast. Did not take the rejection well at the end of the night. Huge fat baby man.

#44

My fiancé is rich and I am dirt poor.

He doesn’t understand that I can’t simply buy a Vespa or random things because I straight up can’t afford it. He also believes being poor is a choice and doesn’t understand why I don’t just go out and get a 100k/yr salary.

He is also tight with his money. I don’t ask him to help with my bills, although in my fantasies he pays off my crushing credit card debt.

He’s a great person, but has never had the experience or should I say anxiety of making your monthly bills.

#45

Some of them are pretty down to earth. I dated a woman who was the daughter of a near-billionaire. I had no idea for a while. I took her to a museum with a $35 ticket price and for pizza on our first date and she thought that was too extravagant. Admittedly, it’s more than I normally plan for a first date but I was super into her and she mentioned really liking an the artist behind the museum.

She did live in a ridiculously expensive condo and not work but she had a chronic illness that made school and work very difficult for her. It was certainly a lesson on how differently disability affects people with and without money.

Her illness was actually a mystery. Doctors couldn’t diagnose it. So she tried to get an appointment at the Mayo Clinic. They said there was a six month wait. Her father called them and mentioned how his company handled their pension plan. She flew there a few days later and was quickly diagnosed.

Her parents’ home was huge and filled with original and custom artworks, including from the artist whose museum we visited. It was really weird walking into that level of excessive wealth.

Edit: not going to specify the illness. She’s not exactly identifiable from it but it feels wrong.

#46

Coming from the opposite side: I’m “rich” and I dated a poor guy and I felt very humbled. At first, I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just go on vacation with me on a whim. I couldn’t understand that the reason why I would always have to drive the 4 hours there and 4 hours back to see him was because he couldn’t afford that much gas. I couldn’t understand why grocery shopping with him was sometimes at the dollar store while I shopped at Whole Foods. I couldn’t understand not being able to just ask your parents for money. He once told me that I was a product of my environment and it was very eye opening. Terrible relationship but I learned a lot about myself and the world

#47

Not from dating someone rich but I have a good amount of friends that are from a very wealthy families.

For some of them: The amount of control their families/parents have on their lives is somewhere between hilarious and psychotic.

For one friend, his mom has a tracker on his phone so she knows where he is at all times to make sure he's not in a bar or something. He's 45 years old lol. We have literally been day drinking and his mom came and dragged him by the ear. I was like Holy s**t. What is happening.

He also has all his spending tracked with his credit cards and stuff. Sometimes I'll pay for a bill so his parents don't know and he will pay me back later. Again... he's 45.

That being said he has a tremendous drug/drinking problem. Also that was the worst example I've seen

Other friends I've seen some serious control issues from their families even though they're adults. I think their parents will cut them off the money train if they don't like their activities.

If my parents ever said I could or couldn't do something at my age. I'd say oh that sucks cause I'm gonna do it anyways.



On the other side of the spectrum, I have a friend from an extremely wealthy family and he's very close to everyone, in a good way. They will have like a summer cook out and invite everyone and it's just a super warm environment. It seems like everyone can talk about anything and get good advice. That was also very foreign to me, but it looked nice.

#48

How much their rich parents resent/think you're not worthy of their precious angel.

Overheard my ex's mum telling her that she wouldn't be happy with me and that I wouldn't be able to provide the kind of lifestyle that she wants (my ex was into horses that cost upwards of 100k). My ex sort of fought my corner a bit, to which her mum replied, "you need to marry someone rich." When my ex asked what if she doesn't find someone rich that she loves/is attracted to, her mum told her that she can always have a f**k buddy on the side.

Suffice to say that that relationship didn't last. She's now married to a millionaire that cheats on her constantly. Their marriage is a toxic shitshow. You reap what you sow I guess.

#49

My ex's *father* was rich. My ex himself was not rich, did not understand the value of money, and was a spoiled a*****e who got a great job at a great company full of awesome people and then proceeded to steal from them. He would b***h at me for buying food for the apartment and then come home with $200 worth of stupid s**t he got talked into buying at the mall. When his windshield got cracked he bought a new car. He was the single most incompetent and entitled person I've ever known, but he firmly believed he was the smartest person in any room he entered. None of his friends talk to him anymore because he either stole from or alienated all of them.

#50

Something I did not see here is, how the comfortably rich view the truly rich.

At one time I was Director of a Fortune 100 IT department and my boss was the VP. He was wealthy enough to have his own yacht and to belong to a big name yacht club. One evening he and his wife hosted me and my wife at that club for a dinner. Great dinner!

We were amused to hear him complain during dinner of all the things he could not do along with his wealthier club friends, like, for example, drop everything on the spur of the moment to fly to South Africa for a yacht race -- as a spectator, not a racer. He was genuinely put out by this awful dose of reality. We commiserated appropriately.

But we did get several pleasant trips on his yacht over the years. So, it's nice to know the merely average wealthy from time to time.

#51

I learned a few things:

- A lot of rich people are deeply unhappy. They lack drive, because they don't 'need' to do something. Many of them can just sort of laze around. They fall into very unhealthy habits, trying to fill a hole that money can't fill.

- They lack a lot of basic skills. How to unclog a drain, how to hang a painting, how to change a filter. They'll spend $100 to get a handyman to spend two hours doing something they could fix themselves in 30 minutes and a $15 trip to the home depot.

- They're often fiercely competitive and super insecure about their wealth. I went through most of my life without ever talking about money. Why talk about something you don't have? But at a rich person dinner it's a constant d**k measuring contest of "I made x amount on this investment" or "I put so much here and expect so much back".

- Money really does make life easier. Like if you're a happy person with goals and a healthy attitude towards life, you can just buy the things you need to pursue your passions.

- There exists a higher end product for almost everything, and it's often significantly better. It might sound stupid, but a $200 toaster or $150 kettle actually does improve your breakfast. A $700 vacuum cleans in ways you never thought possible. You don't think it will, but it will.

#52

I worked for them and had some rich relatives..
- Rich people try to solve problems with money. They won't be there emotionally and they don't want to deal with problems themselves. They pay someone else to handle everything. For example for expressing feelings of lonliness I have gotten a cashmere scarf from one person and an offer for a mental asylum from another. Also if you work with kids they usually pay you to get a break from them while you teach them something to make them better than other kids.

- Rich people never disclose how much they truly have, and tend to hold onto certain items for a long time rather than get new ones all the time. Like they will say what connections they have but you will never hear an actual number. And they will drive the same car for life, keeping it in brand new condition. And they are really proud of these items, they will tell you that often.

- They don't follow trends, they just do what they like, and dress how they want. They don't care who knows about their status, your opinions don't register as something they care about.

That's all I got, might be an old vs new money thing.

#53

How you don’t need to really worry about your wealth if it is properly invested. Over a long timeline, it builds. Period. So you can ignore most short term trends in the markets.

#54

Rich doesn't cure alcoholism

#55

"I didn't go to college" means something else entirely when you go to a $50k/year private school and get hired by your dad's pharmaceutical company.

#56

I went out with a girl briefly years ago, and her parents had a good amount of money. I grew up in a small cottage, where we shared rooms and my parents slept in our living room. This girl's place? They had a private sona, and her brother was a given a curved smart TV (must have been like a 50" +) multiple new gaming systems, all tuition paid for university etc. And here I am buying that, and having my student loans all to myself. I think I learned is people take it for granted sometimes what they have, while others value the basics.

#57

There is a scene in 'Say Anything' where an IRS agent is talking to the daughter and it perfectly describes their possessions. Everything they had was nice, but not too nice. Expensive small things. Things that cost under $1000. They had computers and tv's and phones and clothes that stood out for the time and area. My ex had a parrot that could talk and for a dog she had a Russian wolf hound. They had art on the wall, but not something they made or liked, but art that had resale value. She had jewelry that wasn't just put in a jewelry box, but locked in a safe.

#58

I have been both really poor (chapter 7 bankrupt) and then pretty well off years later. I never thought of myself as rich until we replaced the roof on our house because it was time to. No insurance claim, no hail damage, just it was time. We had that “remember when we lost our home in a foreclosure sheriffs sale? Now we just replace a roof cause we should”.
What I’ve learned is that you make up new ways to stress about financial stuff but it’s all extra discretionary spending issues. New cars, new flooring, redone bathrooms, nice restaurants, kids colleges etc. Lifestyle issues, not life issues. The ability to just handle the necessities is such a massive relief to any family and should be really humbling to any of us fortunate enough to live that way.

#59

There's a whole market based on convincing rich people that they need to pay over the odds for things. You don't just need a pen, you need $500 luxury pen! Need to tell the time? Why not buy a watch that costs more than a lot cars? It's every bit as exploitative as cheap, barely fit-for-purpose products that get marketed towards poorer people.

#60

An acquaintance (actually the aunt of the spouse of a family member of mine) worked as a maid (while putting herself through school) to a super wealthy and famous family in a foreign country. They had it all. They spent like no tomorrow, just assuming it would always be there. The dad/grandad was a businessman and I guess was most well known as the owner of a sports team. This aunt acquaintance was basically told to keep her opinions to herself and just do the work. So she mostly did. She knew everything about that family. One of the grown adult grandkids like didn't work. He just lived off off the family. His pastime was napping. She was told to keep some of the cleaning noise down when he was napping.

Anyways. I'm not sure what happened, but the whole thing completely unraveled when the patriarch passed away and I guess there were a bunch of debts he had been just shifting money around to keep at bay. When things went south she like bought furniture off them for pennies on the dollar and furnished her new place real nice.

I guess the kids were able to keep their trust funds or something, but they lost all the real estate and fancy amenities. Anyways, the bottom line is that she rents out a studio apartment to that guy who just likes to sleep. Looks like he's just running down his trust fund. She feels bad for the guy, can't convince him to get a job.

#61

Met this girl from Greece studying art at St Martins college, her dad was absolutely loaded, she told me she wanted me to show her what it was like to live like common people. You know, do what common people do.

So I took her to the supermarket told her to pretend she had no money (had to start somewhere I guess), she played along and got a shitty flat above a shop and got a job etc.

But at the end of the day I always knew that if she phoned her dad he would be able to stop it all and take her back into luxury.

For me that was the key difference.

#62

I lived with my rich ex bf and his rich roommate for a couple years and yeeesh.

Wasn’t my ex, but his roommate who was equally as rich once told me she “knows what I’m going through” when I was stressed about my bills. The girl who has never had a job, never paid her own rent, or tuition and gets a f*****g allowance on a credit card each month.
Her parents gave her 1000 in spending money each month, after groceries and bills. Just 1000 in fun money. It’s not a lot but it isn’t nothing.
She told me that if she doesn’t go over the 1000 limit each month, daddy puts the difference in a high interest savings for her that she gets when she graduates.
She said it’s been so stressful “managing my money” because her sister got the same deal but is more frugal. Her savings account is now over 10k while my roommate is “living paycheck to pay check” (the NERVE).
I just told her to f**k off. We didn’t really live together much longer after that.

Another millionaire friend of mine who just got back from his 3rd trip to Spain this year and spends about 6 figures a year on travel told me if I “just saved my money” then I’d be able to afford to go with them.
For what it’s worth, his husband is a ceo and he doesn’t work. He inherited rental properties all around the world and just collects a pay check.

TLDR: rich people actually don’t often have a concept of money or economic hardship.

#63

They have no concept of money or the burden of just going out for a cup of $4 dollar coffee, or needing to conserve gas and not drive around for funzies.

#64

My ex's parents make a million a year. Shes convinced they are middle class. Make of that what you will

#65

You’d be surprised how much illegal activity takes place to be under the radar and out of the eyes of law enforcement to keep the money coming in.

#66

Money can't buy class or kindness but it can buy peace of mind

#67

Learned that i’m really, really poor

#68

I married my husband who is kore aligned like me but his family is RICH. It is pretty awkward at times. I don't want to touch anything in their house and I truly didn't at first.

#69

Lot of folks talking about the money aspects, but the personality differences were super eye opening to me.

Went to a fancy dinner with an ex who's dad was a big name NYC architect. Would constantly name drop about who he was working with, talk about the buildings as if they were his, and would spout off random facts about all the dishes being brought out. Supposedly was great friends with the chef at this place and despite paying thousands of dollars for us to all be there the chef never came out to chat or anything. It was just regular assholery, but when they're paying for everything it's pretty clear they don't expect to have their BS called out.

I got along much better with the staff than the family.

Also, rich people love paying a ton for almost no food. Was told we were going to a 10 course meal, so I showed up hungry. What a mistake that was. Each "course" was one bite (on an oversized plate), but everyone would cut multiple pieces out of every plate to take the tiniest nibbles. Such a surreal experience. The food tasted pretty good though, I have to admit, but I immediately went and got some fast food when I got home because I was starving.

#70

I’ve dated one rich person who was also born very rich. I noticed differences in mentality, I care about money but it is not my life. Whereas money was his number one priority. Education and working on yourself did not matter to him, since he already had all the money he wanted. His emotional intelligence was basically non-existent. Since there was no emotional intelligence or common intelligence, the only thing we could talk about was favorite restaurants, countries to travel to, cars and luxury brands.

He couldn’t do any basic life skills such as making your bed, cooking an egg, doing the laundry, turning the power back on.

He didn’t care about respecting people ‘below’ him, which follows my second observation: everyone who had less money than he was ‘beneath’ him.

Oh and he didn’t tip the waitress. ???

These were my observations during a few conversations and one date in a restaurant.
It was a family friend and our parents wanted us to end up together, thank god I’m picky.

And he found it shameful that I, a woman, studied and worked a job. According to him, women shouldn’t go to university or build a career. According to him, having a nanny was crucial if you wanna have a family.

Make it make sense bc until today I still don’t get him

#71

I learned how truly unfair life is.