You get into an argument with someone, the two of you are going at each other back and forth, and they get you so riled up that you suddenly can't think of a good comeback. Until you're taking a shower two years later.

There's actually a French term for this called l'esprit de l'escalier. It describes the feeling you get when you come up with the perfect reply after the fact.

We've all been there. It's devastating.

So let's take a moment and pay our respects to the people who can, in fact, deliver the goods on the spot. Taken from the appropriately titled subreddit r/MurderedByWords, here are some of the best ways to end a disagreement.

#1 Australians Are Easily Offended

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#2 Because God Told Me To

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Witty comebacks can not be planned. They are made in the moment. In a heated argument, timing is everything and that means your answer must be as fast as the words that surprised you. But somewhat counterintuitively, the key to coming up with a winning retort is to hone your listening skills.

According to Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt, people think faster than others speak, giving the listener "extra time" to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.

Consider this: how many times have you been on a conference call and already had an idea to share, an answer to a question or a solution to a problem before the person on the line has even finished his sentence? The same listening skills and thought processes apply when a conversation turns sour and you need to defend yourself.

#3 What Makes Fetal Heartbeat So Special?

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#4 Yeah Homie

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#5 A 16 Year Old Takes Her Shot And Politely Dispatches Her Belittling Elders

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The question is how to refocus that extra time you have while you're listening.

"Most of us don't listen to the whole message, we are just waiting to make our own points. There is no magic bullet to getting better at listening besides practice," Paul, who teaches improvisation theatre techniques, told the BBC.

One strategy to perfect your listening skills is through a simple game of one-word volleyball, where two people build a story by rapidly taking turns to add a word to what the other said immediately before. The game forces you to listen actively and respond spontaneously.

#6 First Knees, Then Ankles

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#7 Nope, Not Benny Boy

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#8 So Simple

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#9 Fatality, Fatality

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"The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what's being said," Paul explained.

In the case of snide remarks, if you know your colleague has a tendency to make them, train your brain to listen to his or her words carefully and be prepared to quickly defuse the situation. "You take away the control factor," she said.

#10 Oh No! Abort, Ab- Oh Wait

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#11 Yes, Well, You See, I'm Never Wrong

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#12 Don't Be That Guy

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#13 No, No. He's Got A Point

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If a colleague tells you, "Oh that’s real smart," Paul says she might try responding with this: "Thanks. I don't always receive praise for my intelligence."

Or "That’s the best you can do?" But you can also try: "I'm afraid so. Where do we go from here?"

#14 Dumbass. Couldn't Think Of Anything Wittier

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#15 I Know, It's Absolutely Bonkers

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#16 Greatest Country In The World!

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#17 They Always Forget About That Part

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Another idea is to try and forget your pride and raise the status of the other person. "Status" used in this sense comes from the rules of improvisation theatre, where you have to make your stage partner look good.

Let's say a manager or colleague takes a swipe at you repeatedly. Paul suggests the "status move," which is best conveyed in tone of voice.

#18 Armadillos Are Funny Looking Animals

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#19 Louder With Dumbass

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#20 They Should Know How To Survive Without One Person

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#21 Preacher Speaking God's Word

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"You could respond to 'Would you suggest something better?' with 'Well, I see you've got some great ideas already, but I think we could perhaps make the whole thing work even better,'" said Paul.

"Of course, with the wrong tone, they would all come out nasty. It's not really about the text, so much as it is the tone."

#22 She Works At Mcdonalds

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#23 Economics Are Hard

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#24 Peta Being Peta

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#25 She Literally Wrote A Whole Song About It

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There’s something to be said for killing someone with kindness and often the best retorts are comebacks that are witty, take the higher moral ground, are appropriate, and most importantly, positive.

According to Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant who once worked with a condescending manager, when banter turns toxic, it kills all ideas in the office. Even worse, it leaves a negative drag on other people's energy and tears teams apart.

#26 I Think He Just Did

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#27 Wendy's Being Wholesome Is Rather Unexpected

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#28 Completely And Totally Unnecessary

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#29 Weird Al Yankovic Destroys Kid Rock’s New Music Video

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When a negative comment is made in a work setting — where, hopefully, everyone wants to see projects succeed and keep their jobs — those comments usually come from a place of insecurity.

For example, a colleague may be unsure how to approach a particular task — he may believe that throwing the attention back to somebody else with a negative retort will remove the focus from his (real or perceived) ineptitude.

#30 Her Go To Work A**

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#31 Got Hit With The "Come See Me After Class"

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#32 That's Because Australia Isn't Real

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#33 Win-Win Situation

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Positive comments are generally a far better tool for keeping projects on track while showing your love of linguistic acrobatics. Others will find the humor in them and negative interactions quickly cease. If a colleague says, "this project is going nowhere fast," you could say, "at least it's going and I intend to steer it in the right direction."

In fact, according to Raffy, positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses, and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one, where everyone’s opinion matters.

#34 How Do Pronouns Work

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#35 Languages Are Fun!

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#36 Well Yeah, The Whole Thing Was Crap To Begin With

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#37 Don't Tag The Person You're Lying About

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Negative comments, however, do the opposite. "They increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the 'in group' which is in the know," she pointed out.

Raffy recommends trying to reveal the "ridiculousness of the situation," without making the antagonist into the villain. It's much better to turn them into the "victim" of the absurd circumstances instead.

#38 Correlation ≠ Causation

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#39 Millennials Are Ruining Population Stability

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#40 No Statute Of Limitations On Murder

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#41 The Single Most British Murder I've Ever Seen

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"The best retorts speakthe truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," Paul said. "That's generally what makes us laugh."

And usually, that's the end goal of a witty comeback — to get people to laugh. A shared laugh is a great way to reduce tension. Of course, the "rules" for online banter are a bit different and you generally have more time to work with, but most of these principles still apply.

#42 Math, Not Even Once

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#43 Seriously? Ireland?!

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#44 Meet My Friend, Terry

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#45 “Owning The Libs”

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#46 You Do You

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#47 Lemon Squeezy!

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#48 God Has Nothing To Do With It

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#49 Facts Aren't As Important As Your Narrative

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#50 Bro Hit Him With The Receipt

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