Headaches are a very common symptom when it comes to being sick. Everything from the common cold, influenza, and migraines to various infections, injuries and even more lethal stuff can cause one. Under the right (or not so right) circumstances.

But there’s one thing that causes a headache that is 100% unavoidable, because it can catch you off guard like a slap in the face with a fish that’s just been ejected from the sea. And that is stupidity.

Folks online have been sharing their biggest, most headache-inducing moments of being told something so profoundly idiotic that it was immediately obvious.

And we thought it would be great to pass on the headache on to you, our dear reader, in a curated list below. Scroll down, read, enjoy it (the list, not the headache), and leave some upvotes and comments!

More Info: Reddit

#1

A mutual friend suffered a miscarriage. My coworker told her, “Everything happens for a reason. God must have wanted this to happen.”

As someone who has had multiple miscarriages and a stillborn child, I wanted to slap the s**t out of her.

Image credits: DareWright

#2

"I don't want to take the vaccine it will make me sterile."

"You are 65."

Image credits: zyzzfansikkunt79

#3

"Why should I be responsible for my son's late fees?"

I dunno, lady. Maybe because he's 12 and can't get a job yet? Also there's the matter of the letter you and he signed when he got his library card that says you're responsible for any fines on the account, as his parent or legal guardian. Just a shot in the dark.

Image credits: bowlbettertalk

#4

"I went to Spain last summer."

"Where is that? Mexico?"

My eye twitched so hard that I thought it might fall out.

Image credits: ayarbee

#5

I have seizures and I had somebody ask me if they were contagious. My cousin was right next to me and elbowed me and whispered for me to start coughing. By the way, my cousin is blind and when I started coughing she chucked her cane behind her fake panicking that she suddenly couldn’t see and the guy ran away so he wouldn't “catch the seizures”. My cousin busted out laughing when she heard him run off saying she wished she could see his reaction and that it must have been priceless. I explained what it looked like to her and she fell onto the ground laughing. She’s just as evil too when people ask her dumb questions about her being blind as she had someone ask her today if it was deadly even though she was born blind.

Image credits: fg10037

#6

"The government wants you to think we're running out of oil, we're not because it comes from bones. We could extract it from chicken bones".

I was fascinated by how he had interpreted fossil fuels and then come to the most hilariously wrong conclusion.

Image credits: zerbey

#7

A work colleague coming in the day after a visit to the zoo telling us that panthers aren't really pink.

Image credits: Bumblebee-Bzzz

#8

While standing in the middle of Disney World and staring at a foldable paper map of the park in her own hands, my sister in law goes, "Why doesn't this map tell me where I am? These maps usually have a little arrow that says something like 'You are here' so you know where you're at."

Image credits: mox44ah

#9

“Evolution is b******t. If I threw a million people off the Empire State Building, *not one of them* would evolve wings!”

Yeah, Randall (his real name because f**k him), that’s not evolution, that’s magic. Now go back to getting drunk after church and driving your kids home, and when you come back to work, don’t forget to f**k another 18 year old server on the tables after close. Don’t worry, I’m sure your wife will never know. Idiot scumbag.

Image credits: Swampwolf42

#10

Actually a doctor. So hear me out.

September 18th 2021, my mother unfortunately passed away. Her and I both had Covid, as we lived together and unfortunately her body couldn’t handle it. This lead to anxiety, panic attacks, stress, and guilt. I felt like it was my fault for my mother's death. Anyway, to the doctor. I decided in December that I couldn’t go on the way I was. I was never leaving my boyfriend's house. I chose to go to therapy in seek of some help with my issues.

When I got an intake appointment, I had to see a doctor there to prescribe, what I expected to be an antidepressant. The moment I sat down, I already had a weird vibe from him. He was quiet, his tone was dull. We started going over my charts and why I was there, etc. and I told him everything he needed to know. I told him about my guilt, and a prior issue I had even before my mother's death. I have a phobia of vomiting, so I brought it up. This doctor told me to just “throw up”, and i would no longer be afraid. He then proceeded to say that I was a very anxious person who is “on the spectrum”. and finally, the KICKER, he told me all my loved ones would go to hell.

Needless to say, I walked out of there sobbing my eyes out. I called the place to file a complaint and thankfully—haven’t seen that man since.

Image credits: eryismum

#11

"If I wear a mask, I can't breathe"

Image credits: LimpGur556

#12

One of my ex-coworkers was convinced that the sun and the moon were the same thing. He thought it turned around at night and became the moon. He was astonished one morning when I pointed to the moon in broad daylight. I thought he was going to have a panic attack. Luckily, we were sharing a joint behind the warehouse and he calmed down a bit. He still didn’t fully understand and kept glancing at the sky for the rest of our shift.

Image credits: UnderThat

#13

The first person I dated after my amputation, freaked out over it and said to stay away because they didn't want to catch what I had, as if amputations due to cancer are contagious. This was right when Myspace had started getting popular, and texting costed you like, 10cents per text.

Image credits: SlaterVJ

#14

A colleague of mine thought jellyfish were a myth.

Image credits: Historical-Tie-7390

#15

My ex’s brother in full confidence said lava was 2 words. Tried to explain its 2 syllables, not words. I was the idiot apparently.

For context, we were watching a Phineas and Ferb movie they were all on a chain over lava. Phineas tells them to let go of the cliff and Candace says something along the lines of “I have 1 word for you! LA-VA!” And then his brother looked at us and proudly said “that’s 2 words, dumba&s”. He was/is notorious for having little to no common sense.

Image credits: RevolutionaryEggRoll

#16

"If Earth is spinning, why my front door is always facing east?"

Image credits: SuvenPan

#17

"Why did the attorney withdraw from my case?"

"Because you didn't respond to our emails and you failed to appear in court."

"But I don't check my email."

B***h, you hired us by email.

Second favorite: "They never saw me driving, though."

"Ed, you were passed out in the driver's seat next to an empty bottle of vodka, covered in your own urine. They're gonna suspect you were driving drunk."

"Yeah, but who saw me driving though?"

Image credits: Maxwyfe

#18

A girl once asked how drugs were sold. I told her the black market. Then she shouts in front of everyone. “Wow, that’s SO racist.”

Image credits: SlimJim31415

#19

That of course Cats and Dogs are opposites, like the opposite of up is down etc. And that of course they're not mammals...

Image credits: a-jm93

#20

Fellow in my class said Ketanji Brown was not suited for the role of supreme court justice because she's a "woman" and is "soft" thus she will "get too attached to cases".

Image credits: AdolfBonaparte69

#21

There was an advocate on TV for science education for women.

She said "Not enough teenage girls are studying science, we need to turn this around 360°."

Image credits: w0mba7

#22

That public libraries are irrelevant in today's society.

Image credits: Cat_Astrophe_X

#23

Went to make dinner reservation for “a quarter to 7.” The hostess on the phone said they didn’t have anything available at that time but has a table available for 6:45.

Image credits: beard_lover

#24

Pregnant with my first at the time. Was dragged over to my in-law's place for my husband's birthday lunch or whatever I was required to show my face at. They're not the most intelligent people despite holding degrees, but this is forever burned in my mind:

" ...don't let your OB do the ultrasound too long! No more than 10 seconds or you'll fry the baby alive!"

My MIL teaches ultrasound technology at a local college. And she told me this. She was always into fear mongering, but good god, all I could do was stare at her dumbfounded and eventually say, "uh, no, that's not how ultrasounds work..."

Bonus just because it's a common stupidity. My FIL claims you can't get COVID if you're vaccinated. He works in the medical field.

Image credits: magicrowantree

#25

Someone once tried to convince me that my coat makes me gay.

Image credits: crabbyfranklen

#26

"If people evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?"

Image credits: JohnKlositz

#27

Years ago, I was living in South Dakota and went to Michigan to visit family for Christmas.

My aunt asked me if the cold weather in Michigan was bothering me. I confusingly told her that the weather in South Dakota is about the same, if not colder. She was shocked and said she didn't remember seeing any cold spells on the weather channel, in the South.

That's when it dawned on me that she thought South Dakota was in the south part of the US because it has the word "south" as part of the name.

My whole view of her shattered at that moment.

Image credits: budderocks

#28

Bit of a story but many a year ago I was eating with my now ex. It was 2am, and an older lady came into the place and asked if someone can give her a ride home, her car had broken down, she worked in the plaza and showed us her work ID, so we gave her a ride, wasn't very far. No idea how the conversation ended up about jurassic Park but it did. She said she took her kids to see it when it came out and one of them asked "how do they keep the dinosaurs from running out of the view of the camera?" We all laughed and she said "you believed he asked that???" My ex said "idk maybe they have people off camera making sure they stay in the shot?" Both look at my ex in complete disbelief. She didn't understand why we were shocked until I said "they were CGI tiff..." the sudden realization on her face was incredible.

Image credits: wmnplzr

#29

Something about how heating food in microwaves is really bad for your health, because they make food radioactive, so you shouldn't use them. The guy was also a hard drug addict...

Image credits: some_clickhead

#30

Years ago a couple proudly told me they had been going to Spanish classes for a year because they wanted to immigrate to Brazil. When I pointed out that they speak Portuguese not Spanish, I got told that ALL of Latin America speaks Spanish!

Even bigger idiot:
I thought everyone was in on the brown cows make chocolate milk joke. But apparently there was still some idiot who wholeheartedly believed it.

Image credits: Difficult_Stuff6112

#31

I heard this conversation a few days ago in Spanish class

Girl: dude, you keep eating my food, at this point it's gluttony

Boy: gluttony? That sounds like algebra....
Is that algebra?

Girl: *trying not to lose her mind* dude, context clues, is your brain made of one brain cell?

Boy: wait.... is it????

#32

The earth really is flat, you see it's about density.

They would not elaborate further.

#33

Glass is made from wool.

Image credits: Hades_Moon

#34

I was in an argument with someone. I cannot remember the contents of the argument. But I stopped when he mentioned his IQ and said to me "I'm right because I'm confident I am right." realized right there it was not worth the frustration of it because I'm not getting through to him.

#35

“Don’t run outside in the winter, your lungs will crystallize. It’s not good for you.” Said while smoking a cigarette.

Yes, the WATER in your lungs can crystallize and destroy your cells at very low temperatures, but I did some reading and sports doctors say there’s no chance of this happening above -50C/-68F. It was the sanctimonious dismissal of running as a healthy activity combined with the idea of a lung somehow crystallizing (?) that sealed the deal for me on this one.

Image credits: ermyne

#36

My brother (45 years old) once said that if you were looking at the Sun through a telescope (I know, a lot to digest there), and the Sun exploded, you would know it long before everyone else.

#37

I had a classmate ask if an ancient Greek philosopher is still alive...

To whoever wondering, it was Thucydides.

#38

“It’s ok to smoke when you’re pregnant, I did and my kid turned out fine.”

#39

Mexico is the capital of Spain.

Image credits: MicahBell9999

#40

One time I overheard someone ask a co-worker how tall he was, and he replied "5 foot 12."


This is the same guy who when I asked him how long a task should be expected to take answered with "Twenty minutes... fifteen at the most."