Since we were little, we all knew that Insulting someone or Calling names was a big no-no. However, life is full of big no-no’s, and to counteract some of them, you have to use them for your own good. And an insult is probably one of the most used of forbiddens in the life of an adult. However, we are not talking here about calling someone a beaner bronco buster or something by far nastier - the insults in our list will make the receiver shiver from your intelligence, quiver at their own incompetence, and feel the undeniable superiority of your wit. Yes, here they are, the best insults ever recorded on the internet, delivered fresh & hot right to your screen. 

Knowing fully well that by spreading nasty, you only get nasty back, we’ve figured out that calling someone to get back to Earth requires certain finesse and flair; thus, calling someone a phallus head does not make it into our list. Instead, these comebacks are as subtle as Claude Debussy’s Clair de Lune, as camouflaged as the workings of Sherlock Holmes, and as smart as Albert Einstein himself. Oh, also, as beautifully versed as the sonnets of mister William! So, we bet that out of these original insults, you’ll definitely find one to put in your pocket and air out when needed.

Well, are you ready to check out our list of the best insults ever? If so, clear up a few RAMs worth of space in your coconut for memorization and skip to the comebacks just a bit further down. Once you are there, vote for the funniest insults and share this article with anyone in need. 

#1

I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.

#2

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.

#3

May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.

#4

Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?

#5

Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.

#6

I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.

#7

You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.

#8

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

#9

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.

#10

I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is happiness.

#11

You are the human version of period cramps.

#12

I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.

#13

I told my therapist about you.

#14

You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

#15

I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.

#16

You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place.

#17

I bet your mom doesn’t put your coloring pages on the fridge.

#18

You are proof God has a sense of humor.

#19

Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?

#20

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

#21

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

#22

You're so ugly even Stephen King has nightmares about you.

#23

You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

#24

Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.

#25

Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

#26

You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.

#27

If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.

#28

You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

#29

I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?

#30

Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.