Creating a glowing customer experience is something that every business strives for. Yet, if you ever worked in the service industry, you know it’s a hard task. Meeting dozens of people every day and dealing with their irrational and senseless demands while still keeping a smile on your face can certainly test your limits.

Sure, not every person you encounter on the job is dumb, some are very understanding of your position. But when a customer makes a complete fool of themselves in front of you, it sure does make a great story. That’s why many client-facing employees came to r/AskReddit to share their experiences.

Bored Panda has collected the most unbelievable answers from several viral threads, so grab a seat and get ready for some genuine laughs! Also, don’t forget to check out our previous posts about bizarre and silly things that came out of customers’ mouths right here and here.

#1

The ice dispenser broke at the fast food joint I used to work at. As a temporary fix while we waited for the repair guy to come take a look at it, we set out a giant serving bowl full of ice with tongs, so people could still ice their drinks. About 10 minutes after putting out the ice bowl, a customer comes up to me to complain that the machine isn't dispensing ice.

I tell him, "We know. A repair guy was called, but he's not here yet. In the meantime, there's a bowl next to the soda fountain, so you can still get ice."

The guy immediately gets an attitude about it. "How do I know that ice hasn't been sitting out there all day?"

I stare at him for a good few seconds before saying, "Because it's still solid."

"..."

"If left out at room temperature 'old ice' would just be water."

"I want to speak with your manager."

Image credits: CentSG2

#2

Used to do tech support for Verizon and a lady called in yelling at me for shutting down her wifi.

Asked for her account info - she doesn't have an account.

Asked her why she called us then and she described the screen that shows up when you don't pay your bill.

She continued to adamantly claim she has no Verizon account and it is illegal for us to shut down her wifi because we don't own the air.

Finally helped her log into her router to get some info and pulled up an account with a different name on it.

She recognizes that name as her neighbor.

Spent the next while trying to get her to understand that she'd been using her neighbor's connection but the neighbor didn't pay the bill so there was nothing I could do. (probably not supposed to discuss the neighbor's billing issue without permission but I'd already told her that screen was from unpaid bills before we figured out it was her neighbor)

Don't think I ever got her to stop telling me I was violating her rights by not allowing her to use the WiFi in her own home...

That call happened to be randomly recorded for QA... My manager, entire team, and multiple training classes thereafter got a good laugh out of it...

Image credits: amazonian_raider

We reached out to user monieo who asked fellow members or the r/AskReddit community to share the dumbest thing a customer has said to them. They told Bored Panda that they previously worked in retail themselves.

Apparently, as a staff member, you really do get “the cream of the crop” when it comes to the variety of clients that walk through the door.

“It really isn’t a proper workday unless you get some very ignorant or rude customers,” they said. It seems that many people believe that retail staff will do anything they ask and will bend over backwards to fulfill their every need. 

#3

'Would you like some jalapeños with your nachos?' 'No, I'm massively allergic. I could die.' 'Oh, then you shouldn't have any of this then, the cheese and salsa dips you asked for both contain jalapeños' 'Oh; don't worry. I'm not actually allergic. Just not a fan'.

You f*cking thundering bag of d*cks, I wasn't going to force them down your throat. Say 'no thanks' and we're done.

Image credits: Greywalker22

#4

I worked at Borders Books and a lady at the info desk asked where are our BBQ's. When I told her we don't carry BBQ's she got very angry and said, "well you carry books on them, right? Why wouldn't you have them in stock?" I replied, "We have books on nuclear weapons but I don't keep those in stock either." I was written up later that day. B*tch...

Image credits: bad__movie__fan

“A lot of the time, they don’t realize you’ll probably make fun of them behind their backs with your co-workers due to some of the most absurd requests or conversations. Retail staff is bored and the customers give light entertainment to fill in the gaps,” they revealed. 

Yet, monieo added that dealing with irrational customers and their demands is seriously challenging. They said that “customers don’t actually believe you’re a living breathing person with feelings and having them yell or abuse you willy-nilly for the hell of it can really wear you down after a while.” 

#5

I used to work in a store that sold stuff for getting organized and we carried step ladders for people who might be putting stuff up on high shelves. We had two different models which were completely identical except one had two steps, and the other had three steps. And the larger one cost like $5 more.

One night the store was completely dead when this guy walks in and asks if we have step ladders, so I show him the two choices. He asks all these questions about which one I think is better and whether I recommend one or the other and a bunch of other inane stuff and all I can tell him is that the ONLY difference is the extra step and about $5 in price. So the guy says, "Ok let me think about it for a minute." So I leave him to it.

He ponders this life-altering choice for an hour. He calls his wife to discuss it four times. After endless hemming and hawing he ends up not buying either one, and leaves us with the parting words, "I don't know. I think three steps may just be a little too much ladder for me."

I honestly don't know how someone that indecisive even manages to dress himself in the morning.

Image credits: Pustuli0

#6

"Does this room go all the way to the back wall over there?"

She pointed a finger out towards the end of the shop-floor, past all the shelves and merchandise.

"That white wall? The one furthest away at the end of the room? Yes."

"That is part of the room too?"

"Yes, this room contains all of itself."

"Thank you."

".... what the f*ck just happened?"

Image credits: ParrotChild

“You also can’t tell them off or what’s really on your mind because you’re the face of the brand so to speak.” The author of this thread revealed that there had been many a time when they wanted to tell people to get lost, to put it mildly.

Monieo told Bored Panda that they primarily worked for a large office supply company. From their own experience, they once had an elderly customer come through the door and make a beeline for them at the register. The person demanded that they tell their colleague to “stop texting their friends and get back to work.”

#7

Gas station.

"Hey, the bathroom door is locked. Can I get a key?"

"There's no key, if it's locked there's someone in there"

"How does it know?"

"How does... what... know... what?"

"How does the bathroom know someone is in there?"

"People.... people go in and then they lock the door while they're using it."

[5 second pause]

"Ohhhh"

Image credits: SenorBeef

#8

Ran a lawn mowing service. New customer asks about the process.

"Do you come to my house to mow it?"

No. We pick it up and haul it to our special mowing center then bring it back.

Image credits: RichardStrauss123

“My co-worker was using a digital product gun checking stock,” the author explained. “It clearly wasn’t a phone, nor looked like one. Even after I explained to the customer, she said I was a ‘very stupid girl’ and told me she’d never buy here again. My co-worker and I found it absolutely hilarious and talked about it all day.”

On a final note, the user told us that they certainly don’t miss working in retail: “In fact, I quit as soon as I graduated university. But the bizarre customer interactions sure make me look fondly back on it.”

#9

I work at an Italian place right now. We call our Italian menu items by Italian names with English descriptions. I get a lot of questions, but I don't mind a hair because I get paid to talk about food.

Not too long ago though it sort of went slapstick. It's not that they asked a dumb question, but they kept asking it. "Pollo e penne?" "Oh, that's chicken and pasta with..." "Does it have meat in it?" "The chicken pasta? Yes, pollo is Italian for chicken." "Can I get the chicken but not the pollo?" "Pollo is just Italian for chicken, if you want chicken it's really good..." "No, I like chicken but I don't want pollo." I kind of lost it for a split second.

Image credits: trebuchetfight

#10

Not to me but I saw it happen to my coworker. I work at a fairly nice restaurant as a server. As with any restaurant we get cheap people who want things for free.

Couple comes in. Busy Friday night. They were sat at a table that had just been cleaned. They sit down, coworker comes out to say his greet. Before he gets a word out the guest begins flipping out. How dare they sit her at a dirty table. My friend has to actually move around the table to see a smudge from the light reflecting off it.

Woman is now irate that he offered to clean it instead of giving them a free appetizer.

She looks at him, 7pm on a Friday rush and says, "if you do not give us our entire meal for free, including alcohol, we're leaving." Keep in mind they haven't even ordered a beverage yet.

Coworker looks at them and says "then leave."

They then try to backtrack and say they want to see a manager. My friend said "no. Get out." And they left.

My friend has worked there for 10 years. Went right to the managers and told them, I backed up his story, we laughed

Image credits: janedoughpanty

#11

C: Can I keep these indoor plants outside?

M: Well, they are tropical plants and we live in Canada so they would be fine for the summer, but you would need to bring them inside during fall and winter.

C: Ok, but what will happen if I just leave them outside for winter?

M: ...They will die.

C: Ok, but what can I do to keep them alive?

M: ...

Image credits: puriance

#12

I used to work at Red Lobster. A lady asked me for suggestions on something healthy. I suggested grilled salmon. She promptly turned down the idea, saying she heard it was full of fat. She then ordered a fried seafood platter with double butter and sour cream for her baked potato and double ranch dressing for her salad.

Image credits: jennsatterfield83

#13

"My laptop won't turn on!"

"Did you plug it in and charge the battery?"

"NO! This is a laptop! It doesn't need to be plugged in!"

"Ma'am, the battery still needs to be charg..."

"LISTEN! This is a laptop!"

Image credits: Garvilan

#14

Worked at a gas station. I watched a customer pull up, whip her door open and slam it against the large, shiny silver pole that protects cars form running into gas pumps. She then proceeds to furiously get out, scream with her head facing the heavens, and run into the gas station telling me I need to be more careful where I place those.

The thing has been cemented into the f*cking ground for over twenty years.

Image credits: Freakawn

#15

I work at a hotel and I had a guest/customer call and inform me that his room did not have a bathroom and that he would need to be moved to one which did. I informed him of course that all of our rooms have bathrooms, and asked if he had checked the doors in the room. He had not..

Image credits: RepletesMaryJane

#16

I once had someone complain that the self-checkout machine was being racist because it was giving her the usual errors and warnings.

"please place the item in the bagging area! please remove item from the bagging area! The bagging weight is not correct. The attendant has been notified and will assist you."

(It's not racist, for the record; it hates all humans equally.)

#17

As a UPS driver

Customer: what's in the package?

Me: no idea you ordered it

Image credits: Bayarearedneck

#18

Working at callcenter, asking people to pay their old bills. Naturally some responded angrily.

'So this is what you do all day? You just call people who haven't paid their bills?'

'Yes.'

'So if I paid my bills you'd be out of the job?'

'If everybody paid their bills, then yes.'

'Ha ha! Good. You just f*cked up by telling me this. I'm going to pay my bills right away. When you're unemployed then see how you like getting calls about your bills!'

The futility of eradicating a job that relies on the existence of poor people by making me poor escaped them.

#19

"Your total comes to $32.23"

"I only have $20."

"...."

"Can I still have it?"

"....no."

Image credits: Closer-To-The-Sun

#20

Worked in a scooter repair shop. This customer was well known for being beyond stupid, every time we saw them.

This time, she had lost her keys. She had us pick up the scooter, cut her a new key, and came in to pick it up.

Walks in, pays, goes outside to drive home. Walks back inside.

Customer: “um, when I dropped my bike off, there were like.. a lot more keys on here..” holds up key ring

Coworker: “you had us pick up you scooter... because you lost. Your. Keys.”

Customer: eyes go wide after several seconds of confusion “oooohhhhhh thaaatsriiiigghht......!!”

we all stare at each other as she leaves, wondering how she functions in society

Image credits: Ninja_rooster

#21

When the Nintendo DS was released with the Brain Training games we had several middle aged and older customers come in to buy the game but didn't own the Nintendo DS "No I don't want the Nintendo thing I just want the game." I started asking "What colour DS do you have?" to find out

After confirming she didn't own a DS, one lady told me "I used to work in sales, I know you're trying to upsell, it's not going to work."

Most of the time they thought they could put it in their computer somewhere or ask their children for help.

Image credits: phattoes

#22

I made lentil soup for the kitchen I worked in as a teen, but I put the carrots in later than I should have and so they still had a slight crunch when the first customer bought a cup. He stormed back in after a few minutes and demanded his money back because he was going to get food poisoning from eating an uncooked carrot.

Image credits: [deleted]

#23

I had this insane woman flag me down at a Chinese Restaurant I used to manage.

She very loudly told me she found a hair in her Mongolian lamb, and showed me a long sauce covered blonde hair. For reference, I had short black hair at the time and the entire kitchen and wait staff on that night had relatively short black hair. The woman had long blonde hair.

Instead of letting her cause more of a scene, I apologised and got the kitchen to make her a new serving to replace the meal (even though she and her kids had essentially eaten the entire serving already.)

The part where sh*t started to really go down was when she came up with her family to pay. She refused to pay her ENTIRE bill due to the "HUGE THICK HAIR I FOUND IN MY FOOD" which she loudly announced to the room. At this point, the restaurant owner came out and started having a screaming match with the woman for trying to rip us off. Her kids appeared to cry on cue.

I sent my boss back to the kitchen and said I would figure it out. I turned to the woman and explained calmly that I would be happy to take the Mongolian Lamb off of her tally (despite the replacement serving) so long as she paid the other $90+ for the rest of the bill.

She refused and called the cops because my boss had yelled at her. No joke.

Best bit was the cops ended up telling the woman she needs to pay her full bill and that emergency services shouldn't be called for such petty reasons.

Happy I'm not in that industry anymore haha...

TLDR; Lady tries to use her own hair to get out of paying for her table's food. Aussie Cops provide quality sass.

#24

Customer: "$11.50?!? The deal says any two footlong sandwiches for $12!"

Me: "Yes, but one of the sandwiches you got had a regular price of $5.50 so it was cheaper any--"

Customer: "Thats ridiculous!! I want to see a manager- actually forget it. I'm never coming back!"

#25

Worked at Burger King, had a really busy rush, line all the way to the door. This guy comes in and gets in line, real sh*tty look on his face. He waits in line for about 5-10 minutes (anger building), gets up to my register and screams while waving a Taco Bell bag at me " You forgot my sour cream"

I was dumbfounded at how the guy could have waited in line, with all the pictures of burgers every where, and the completely different color scheme. So I told him I would go get my manager (she was a real old and crankier kind of lady, rough around the edges.)

As I come back I can see the guy has this odd look on his face, like its starting to sink in, my manager comes up and I tell her " We forgot the sour cream for his tacos". She looks at me, rolls her eyes harder than I have ever seen anyone roll their eyes, and turns around and walks back to her office.

The guy looks at me, he is starting to look nervous, his brain knows something is wrong.. I point out the window, he looks out the window, sees the Taco Bell next door. He was out the front door fast, bright red, not a word.

#26

I once managed the front desk of a recreational center, and this one parent yelled at me for a class starting without their kid.

They were 15 minutes late.

I hate parents...

#27

Had an argument with a customer that there is no such thing as a uppercase "5". So when he was typing in his email password, he was typing a "%" in his password instead of a "5".

Image credits: devildunkard

#28

I worked at REI a few years back (large outdoor sporting goods co-op, just in case you haven't heard of it), and we sold bear spray (pepper spray for bears). A woman came in with her two kids one day and bought a canister because they were going camping. She gets to the front door, then comes back to the register as an afterthought, and asks if she's supposed to just spray her kids from head to toe with it.

#29

A woman came into my restaurant clearly looking for her friends who were already sitting down.

The restaurant is small, and you can see every seat from the front door. I hand her a menu, and say: "Go ahead and take a look for them - they've gotta be here somewhere."

She looks at me, then down at the menu she holds in her hands with what can only be described as a look of both fear and confusion. I ask her if there's anything the matter, to which she responds: "How do you have a map of where everyone is sitting???"

She thought we live-printed maps every time someone new came through the doors.

Bonus: She, later that same night, asked me what duck was.

#30

Library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, "You mean I have to bring the books BACK?"

#31

C:"Your computer you sent me is broken, fix it!"

M: "We don't provide computers to anyone, this is (company name)."

C: "I got a computer from you guys to use for school 2 weeks ago. Give me a new one NOW."

M: "Where did you get it from?"

C: "YOU"

M: "What was the company name?"

C: "My god you are so annoying. I got it from (Different Company Name)."

M: "You'll want to contact them. This is (Company Name) and we don't provide computers."

C: Brief silence. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT." Hangs up

One of the dumbest calls I have ever had. Was a few years ago and glad I don't deal with those kind of people anymore.

Image credits: blade55555

#32

Worked at a PF Chang's and had a guest order the hot and sour soup. She sent it back because it tasted sour. And just the other day best friend who works at a fried chicken place had somebody complain about being charged for extra sauce. My friend told him that it says clearly on the menu extra sauce costs extra and the guy angrily says "I shouldn't have to read the menu!"

Image credits: [deleted]

#33

I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I informed her that she couldn't withdraw money, because her account was overdrawn. She was immediately upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn't expecting any payments. She was spending money she knew she didn't have.

She then asked me why we couldn't just give her more money.

#34

Used to work at Starbucks. A lady ordered a mocha and I forgot to add the mocha syrup. Dumb mistake so I fixed it of course. She put it back on the bar a couple minutes later and said "It doesn't taste right, I want a new one." Okaaay I thought, dont know what else I can do, but sure ill make a new one. I get started on it and she goes to the restroom. She gets back from the restroom before I'm done making it but sees her old drink on the bar that I hadn't taken back yet and thinks its her new one. She looks at and says "ah, it looks better already!", takes a big drink and says "Now see, that's perfect" then leaves before I can tell her I didn't do a damned thing.

#35

Vet tech. A lot of people think their dog's nipples are ticks. A lot. One man even pulled a "but he's a boy!" on us.

#36

In New York State, you have to have your car inspected for safety. If it's not safe, you can't drive it. I failed a woman's car because her brake pedal goes to the floor, and the car barely stops. She LOSES her sh*t, calls her husband who b*tches me out.

"You don't know who I know, I'll have your job by the end of the month!" etc.

After about 20 minutes of arguing, the lady calms down and accepts her fate. The conversation goes as follows.

Her: "Are the brakes something the collision shop would check after an accident?"

Me: "Sure, but it depends on where the damage was."

Her: "Hmm, okay. I just got my car back, and they didn't say anything. I crashed into a building because the brakes didn't work."

Me: "Huh, weird."

#37

Back when I did tech support, I received a call from a customer with a peculiar keyboard problem. It seems that he was having trouble with the shift key. When he typed a letter with the shift key pressed it gave him the upper case letter, but when he typed a number, it didn't do that. Didn't do what? Type the upper case number. I had to break it to him gently.

#38

Someone once told me she can’t have eggs since she was lactose intolerant. I told her to not worry’s since there was no dairy in the dish but I can still do it without eggs. Her response “Did you not just hear me say I can’t have dairy?”

This was an old grumpy lady who seems to think eggs, or anything from what we think of as “farms”, are dairy. So no, the customer is not always right.

#39

"HEY I asked for light lettuce!"

"Oh sorry." remakes sandwich "Here you go."

"...I don't get all the rest of my order for free?"

"What? No."

She ordered for herself, her mom and two sisters. She was honestly shocked she wasn't getting 4 full meals free from a small mistake.

#40

C1: "I'm allergic to anchovies, so no anchovies on my Caesar salad."

there's anchovies in our caesar dressing, what would you like instead?

C1: No there's not, I had it last week and I didn't taste them.

I grind anchovies into that dressing Every. Single. Day.

#41

I went to dinner once at a Chinese restaurant in Missouri and a woman at the table next to ours yelled at the waiter, "Where is the other sauce? We are supposed to get Sweet and Sour Sauce and we only got one sauce!"

#42

Working at a small coffee shop that roasted their own beans/had their own brand. "Do you sell Starbucks here?" "No ma'am we roast our own coffee." "Well that's just bad business!" ... okay.

#43

Working at a chain restaurant, you never know what kind of things are going to come out of people's mouths. I once had a lady that literally said to me, after trying her food, "this doesn't taste like the picture.".

#44

When I worked at a bank I had a customer come into the branch angry because his account was overdrawn. I looked at the account and noticed several checks had gone through so I told the customer who got even madder because how could his account be overdrawn when he still has blank checks in his checkbook.

Dude truly believed that checks were like cash.

#45

Customer screaming: "MY NEW CAR'S BACK WIPER DOESN'T WORK!!!"

we walk outside, look at back window

Me: you don't have a back wiper blade.

#46

Retail, anytime a customer didn't agree with a policy.

"But I'm a good paying customer!"

All of our customers are paying customers. If you do this, stop.

#47

I worked in inbound sales at a call center once, and we had a customer ask to pay cash over the phone. I thought they were joking and I said "Yeah! Just send it right through your receiver." There was a pause, and then I hear, "No, seriously, how do I pay cash over the phone?"

#48

I had a woman yell at me, questioning why i had kicked her daughter out of the hot tub, i had to then explain to her, i had caught her daughter having sex with her bf. She just wont have any of it, "MY DAUGHTER IS A GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL" at this point the whole building is watching her and my manager comes over and offers to let her watch the security footage of her daughter. Well she wouldn't have any of that and just stormed off.

#49

Working as a tech support manager for a dial-up ISP in the mid-1990s. A customer called to ask why his email wasn't working, and made me stay on the phone with him while he walked through it to prove it.

Lo and behold it didn't work. He wasn't online. Why? He was talking to me on his one phone line. All the other times his email didn't work before, he had also been talking on the phone.

#50

A customer asked me "What's the difference between mashed potatoes and baked potatoes?" My smart a*s response was " well they're both potatoes but one is mashed and one is baked."

#51

I worked at a Toyota dealership and a salesman said his customer asked to speak to the manager because Jesus told her that we would provide her with a car. I asked her if Jesus was paying cash or financing. She literally expected us to just go, "Oh ok, well...pick out whatever tickles your fancy!"

#52

I worked at Victoria's Secret and a customer came in to return her wedding lingerie. She said she "only wore it once".

There were markings in the panty area and an empty condom wrapper in the bag.

#53

Cellphone store right before the dawn of the smartphone

Customer: “I need my information off my old phone.”

Me: “Okay where is it?”

Customer: “At the bottom of a lake.”

#54

I work at a newspaper...and we accept payments for subscription over the phone.

This woman (older lady...probably 70+), after giving me her details so I can find her information and pull her account up, says she wants to make a payment by card.

I enter the information once, but the page refreshes on my computer and wipes the info. I then tell her "Could you repeat your card number please? My computer erased it for some reason"

She replies with "You're entering this on a computer?" Long pause. "Never mind I don't trust computers." She then hangs up the phone.

Like...do you think your card is magic orrrr........?

Image credits: Unho1yIntent

#55

I'm a cashier at a grocery store and one time I had a lady ask me of I could "tell everyone else to let her go first." Like, she expected me to force everyone who had been patiently waiting in line to let her cut them. It wasn't like she only had 1 or 2 items either; her cart was packed.

#56

Long time ago now...
Got a call that a user's laptop was dead and wouldn't power on.
I go and check it out. Press the button, no life. Plug it into the power, it starts charging. Press the button, it boots just fine.
The user wasn't plugging the laptop into power because she "thought we had wireless".

#57

A guy accused me of harassing him because I kicked him out of the store after the third time he stole from us. He then called the cops...

#58

"Yes, I understand I haven't paid my credit card bill in 3 months. But why can't I use my card?" "Because you haven't paid your bill in 3 months." repeat

Image credits: nolooselips

#59

I work at a hotel, a client walks in: "If I book a room, does it include the bed?" Like no Sir, we only provide you a chair so you can sit down and wait till check out time.

Image credits: rggrd

#60

A pleasant lady walked into the bike store I work at and asked us to help take her daughter's bike out of the car to find out why it wasn't riding as well as it had been when she got it. I stride over to her minivan and lug out a beautiful, spotless blue Bianchi. Looked like it had been ridden maybe twice.

Brakes were snappy, shifting was crisp, chain had zero rust and zero stretch. The bike was basically good as new.

Except the tires were empty. I asked her when her daughter filled them last.

"You have to fill them?"

#61

Used to work at a fast food place. Lady comes through the drive-thru and orders a cheeseburger with no cheese. Me: "Oh, okay, so you would like one hamburger then, ma'am?" Lady (now huffy): "No! I want a cheeseburger with NO CHEESE!" Back then a cheeseburger was $1.00, and a hamburger was 69-ish cents. She's not the only person to have ordered that either. Still baffles me today. (Edit for Clarity) Some people have brought up that at some restaurants the hamburger and cheeseburger get different toppings, are made of different meat, are on special, etc. I probably should have been more clear, so here was the deal at this particular place: The hamburger and cheeseburger got the same bun, had the same burger patties, and got the same toppings (ketchup, mustard, onion and pickle). The only differences besides the price were the cheeseburger had cheese and had a different colored wrapper. Sorry if I confused anyone!

#62

I worked at Kinkos and on 3 separate occasions different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient.

#63

A woman bought a white shirt. She then spilled red soda onto the shirt. To fix the stain she used a tide-to-go pen. She rubbed so hard it tore a hole in the fabric. Her husband tried to return it after they stained and tore the garment claiming that it must have been a manufacturing problem. No. Sir. That's not how it works.

#64

When I was a grocery store cashier: "Why the f*ck didn't you remind me about my coupons before I checked out! The self-checkout always does, so that's your job." They then told my manager that they wanted all the savings to come out of my paycheck even though they were able to apply the discount retroactively and credit her credit card at customer service.

At my NetSec job, after a client fell for a very obvious phishing e-mail, in the middle of the night, and transferred over $100K to a foreign bank account: "Don't we hire you to prevent this bullsh*t! Shouldn't you have kept that e-mail from showing up in my mailbox!" - Yeah, no. Unfortunately we haven't come up with a software solution to staggering stupidity.

#65

I worked at Subway when I was 16. A customer asked me the difference between the turkey and ham. I told her the ham was made from pigs and the turkey was made from turkey. She did not like my answer.

#66

Lady ordered fries with no salt. She comes back and complains, "there's no salt on my fries."

#67

-Can you photoshop some pictures for me?

-Sir, this is a bookstore.

-Yeah, but I see you have a computer right here.

#68

Me: hi, welcome to little caesars!

Them: hey. How much does your $5 pizza cost?

Me: yes.

#69

Had someone come into our office for a consultation. He was clearly slurring his speech, couldn't stand and reeked of alcohol.

"Sir, have you been drinking."

"No, I don't drink."

"You smell like alcohol and appear drunk."

"I don't drink, I'm just sipping."

#70

"Why are you watering down my coffee?" - Guy who ordered an Iced Americano

#71

I work at a rite aid. Just had a guy come in about an hour ago. Asked me "y'all sell weed?". So I tell him no. So he responds with, "This is a drug store and you don't sell drugs?". Probably high off his a*s though

#72

Worked on a Christmas tree farm over winter break in college. One time I had a lady ask me, "so, what are these trees made out of?"

#73

Someone once asked me "why are you guys making it so difficult to find a car parking spot this time of year?!" It was Christmas time, and I was a casual working in a tiny store in a huge shopping center. I didn't even know what to say.

#74

I once had a woman ask if UK Cosmo was "written in a British accent".

#75

Worked at chick fil a, and a customer pointed to our lemonade dispenser. On it, it says “lemon, sugar, water.” The customer asks for a lemon, sugar, water drink. I repeat back “a lemonade?” His reply: “no, the lemon sugar water drink.”

Also people can’t say Polynesian sauce for all that is good and holy in this world. I’ve heard polyester sauce and Pomeranian sauce.

#76

When I asked "For here or to go?" I got a confused look followed by "What would you recommend?"

#77

A lady came into the store and asked us if we sold "adult toys".

This was Toys "R" Us. We don't sell those here.

#78

A Chipotle customer asked for spaghetti noodles on his burrito while pointing to the cheese..

#79

"Man, ya'll don't know how to treat customers. It's why you all losing money. I'm going to Lowe's."

From a customer yelling at customer service, in a Lowe's.

#80

"How much is your $10 Dinner Box?" You could tell she felt stupid when I told her the price.

#81

Jimmy John's worker here. One time a woman complained that we made her sandwich "much too fast" and refused to eat it.

#82

Had a customer who insisted that the bad weather was causing their internet problems. The company was notorious for these sort of issues, so naturally I agreed. They then went on to ask how fast the wind had to be to blow the wifi away.

#83

You can't tow my car I'll sue you. When I told him he can't park his car in front of the hotel where there was clearly a no parking sign.

#84

"Hey I'm on your website and this item that's on sale says its online only, do you have any in stock in your store?"

"No we don't because it's online only"

"But it's on sale why can't I get it in your store?"

"Because it's online only"

#85

I'm a dog groomer, not a tailor:

"His hair is too short, can you just let the sides out a bit?"

#86

A customer walks into our tiny bike shop jammed packed full of bikes. Bikes are hanging in the window, off the ceiling on the walls, all over the floor. There is not a square foot of space in the shop that is not occupied by a bike or various parts of one.

"This is the bike shop right?"

Yes.

"Do you guys sell bikes or fix them?"

Both.

"If I brought my canoe in could you fix it?"

Is canoe the name of your bike or is it a boat?"

"It's just a canoe for the lake. Do you guys fix them?"

What? No, we're a bike shop.

"Oh."

#87

I work at a pizza place and we sell breadsticks. young couple comes in, lady stares at the menu for 5 mins then asks me... "so, your breadsticks. uh, those have bread in them?" no sh*t

#88

Customer: Where's the sugar?

Me: What?

Customer: I ordered sweet corn, this is just corn.

#89

While towing his car to a dealership, "So what do you do for a living?"

He was serious. He assumed I had another job because I didn't fit the Billy Bob persona he associated with tow truck drivers.

#90

"Can you fix my tablet it is not working right."

"Ok where is it?"

"At home."

"..."

#91

I used to work in a call centre for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him. I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash. I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said "Why can't you just fax it to me?"

#92

Used to be front office manager in a hotel. In our rooms we had three phones. One next to the bed, one in the bathroom and one on the desk. This is already a lot but in the past we also had an additional 4th phone on the side table. So one day a customer asked to see me requesting the 4th phone because you could clearly see the telephone socket in the wall (neatly covered) and thus his room was not complete. I asked him why he needed 4 phones in his room, he said because clearly in the past there were 4 phones and that's what he paid for (we didn't advertise online with 4 phones, but i had maintenance bring up a forth phone nonetheless).

#93

"You'll lose business because of this" (after an argument) Um I don't own the franchise of Pizza Hut Please I implore you, take your business elsewhere.

#94

Delivering pizza for a store that only served the west side of town. Our other location covered the east side.

Customer: "Can I get a delivery to Pinewood Apartments?"

Me: "No, I'm sorry, we only cover the west side of town. You wanna call our Elm St location at 252-...."

Customer: "Yeah, I thought that, but I live on the west end of the building, so I thought maybe it was you guys."

#95

"The customer is always right, now refund my meal."

He wanted a refund for a party of five because his steak wasn't cooked correctly.

#96

I was in Alaska for a fishing trip a few years ago and this guy asked a store clerk if they took American money. We all just stared at him until he got it.

#97

“I need you guys to close early every night, because the light from the drivethru is killing my plants”

#98

I was at a drive-thru and the person in front of me asked if he can have his food to go.

#99

Had a customer try to negotiate a better price for a pack of 4 mars bars when I worked at a major supermarket chain.

#100

I am a flight attendant and for some reason people on planes don't know what black coffee means. "I'll take a black coffee. With cream and sugar." Me: _

#101

I work at a bank inside of a grocery store. The customer was very upset that they couldn't buy their toilet paper and doritos at the teller window.

#102

During last year's NHL lockout, a customer was receiving no NHL scores (because there were no games) and demanded that we "unlock" the NHL.

#103

I used to work at a grocery store deli. My coworker for some reason got more stupid questions than anyone else (we'd swap stories every shift), but one went a little like this:

"Hi, what can I get you?" "The 8 piece chicken... how many pieces are in it?" "How...how many pieces are in the 8 piece chicken? Um. There are eight pieces in the 8 piece chicken..." "Ok, I'll have that, please!"

To be fair, the lady was awfully polite but "How many pieces are in the 8 piece chicken" is still a stupid question.

An edit: a few people said "Maybe she meant how many of each piece." No, she meant how many pieces are in the eight piece chicken. I said eight, packaged it up, and she went away happy.

#104

Overheard in a Blockbuster Video about 20 years ago:

"Mom, where are you?"

"I'm over here, by the movies."

#105

Can I purchase just this one sock?

#106

"Wow... look honey we are saving more than we are spending... We practically are getting paid to get these clothes."

#107

Today a customer asked me if I was the same Harry as the Harry she spoke with yesterday.

My name is not Harry and I wear a name badge at work..

#108

Are you sure you put the right bumper on my car?

Ma'am there is literally only ONE bumper that will fit on your car.

But you know what? You're right. We put a Toyota Camry bumper on your camaro.