Simon Hooper, AKA Father of Daughters, has become an Instagram sensation and successful author by chronicling the ups and downs of being a father of 4 young girls.

With almost 1 million followers enjoying his daily stories, delivered with a large dose of humor and without the usual sugarcoating of ‘perfect parenthood,’ Simon has made quite the journey from being a “24 year old man-child with no idea of what being a dad involved.” The realities of being forever outnumbered by the ladies in his life, he is the single male in a household with 5 women, has taught Simon valuable lessons about fatherhood, feminism and equality.

Scroll down below to see a realistic, humorous perspective on parenting, and let us know what you think in the comments!

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Image credits: Father of daughters

“I thought I had it nailed – I thought the days of refering to Ottie and Delilah simply as ‘this one’, ‘that one’ and ‘the twins’ were numbered and that I was going to be a parent who could distinguish between my genetic copycats. I was wrong. Thanks to [my wife] dressing them as mirror images of themselves, today I was straight back to square one & spent the next 15 minutes playing a real-life guess who – calling them the wrong names only to receive blank faces & zero responses in return. I’m strongly considering shaving one of their heads. Screw the curls – the need to identify my own children is more important”

Father Of Daughters

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“To Ottie & Delilah: 3 years ago today we became the proud owners of a buy one get one free deal that we didn’t volunteer to receive. Frankly I was scared shitless of the thought of you, but as soon as you arrived in the world & I held you in my arms, those fears dissipated and drifted away on the winter breeze in south London. Yes, parenting is now the equivalent of herding cats high on speed whilst blindfolded, the volume level is our house shatters windows and Yes, your arrival reduced male representation in our family down a measly 16%, but you have helped shape us as parents, as siblings and as a family. You’ve grown from crying balls of flesh who I couldn’t tell apart, into wonderful individuals who enrich our lives and have unintentionally taught me a lot about myself – 1). I’m genetically hard coded to only make females. 2). I have more patience than I ever thought possible 3). you helped me gain a new perspective on whats important in life and 4). you’ve helped me realise that I’m capable of more than I give myself credit for. You completed our family and completed our lives so thank you for being you. Just promise you’ll easy to handle in the future as the thought of you as teenagers scares me shitless again!”

Father Of Daughters

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“Move over twinnies, you’ve been knocked off the cuteness top spot. No, Clemmie hasn’t had a secret pregnancy and produced the world’s hairest child that were sending off to the circus. We do however have a new family member – my four legged son – Pablo Valentine Hooper. In the blink of an eye, We’ve doubled the number of testicles in this female orientated household & Suddenly the fight for the TV remote has been replaced with a fight for the attention of this 16 inch long ball of baggy skin and soft padded bear feat, who’s eyes you could get lost in. Pablo, I can only apologise to for the noise level your coming to – we’ll start a boys only club in the basement to escape to where we can talk about boy stuff over a bowl of puppy food.”

Father Of Daughters

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“There’s an unwritten but globally understood rule that the shattered parent that gets up with the kids to give other equally shattered parent a lie-in is responsible 4 key things: 1). ensuring that said kids remain quiet as a church mouse who’s biten off his own tongue so as not to disturb the sleep deprived bear like creature in mummy & daddy’s bedroom, 2). The house should not resemble the aftermath of a ram raid on a toy store, 3). The dinner from the night before can not and will not be still on the side sticking the kitchen out & 4). All children should be fed and watered before the other parent finally rises from their 100ply cotton covered hibernation. Now look at these 2, read their faces & tell me how many of these I managed today before @mother_of_daughters came down stairs. I’ll give you a clue – it was just the right number to get told off. My fault really – playing always comes top of my list of chores. Linen PJs are from the lovely @meloandmarl who we met on holiday this summer.”

Father Of Daughters

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“I may have a Y chromosome where women have an X but that microscopic piece of biology should be the only thing that differentiates us as we all travel on this journey through life. As a Father of 4 daughters, I don’t want my girls horizons to be limited to what people tell them they can do, so I embrace my responsibility as a parent to support and encourage my girls to be what they want to be, to celebrate & further the accomplishments of those trail blazers that have gone before them like Emmeline Pankhurst, Ella Fitzgerald, Coco Channel, Marie Curie & Henrietta Swan Leavitt who, with a team of all female astronomers, catalogued the stars in the night sky when men told them they couldn’t. Our children will be the ones who will break glass ceilings, forge new paths & make the discoveries that takes the human race to places we can only dream of today, so my message to my girls is to GO BIG, GO HARD & do what they said you can’t do in whatever field you choose – be the boss of your own destiny.”

Father Of Daughters

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“Some times actions speak louder than words so I’ll just leave this here and let you guess why the twins didn’t want to go to bed after I hyped them up to darude sandstorm (fyi their dance troop name has to be ‘Mirror Image’ when they go on Britain’s got talent). Don’t worry @mother_of_daughters , I got this…..now tune up the bass and get your hands in the air people – Dad’s in charge of bedtime! BTW I dance every Wednesday on stories if you didn’t know already – good for blowing off steam and keeping things in perspective – never stop having fun”

Father Of Daughters

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“With a baby sitter booked, we’ve done something that’s seldom possible under normal proceedings – We got the opportunity to dress up in clothes with no stains on & go to a fancy restaurant with just the eldest two. I’m sure they think we’ve completely forgotten about them since the arrival of the mini-me’s, so this was our way of showing them they’re more important then ever. I didn’t flinch when they ordered starters that cost more than the nation debt of the US, I stayed calm when they picked mains from the adult menu (knowing they wouldn’t finish them) & bit my tongue when they split drinks to creat table lakes as being out late with the grown ups fun & we wanted to make it special. If you’d told a 16 yr old me that I’d be surrounded by beautiful, intelligent women when I’m older, I wouldn’t have believed you, but here I am (slightly different circumstances, granted) & I couldn’t be prouder of the women in my life (swipe right). Also, if we hadn’t have brought them, who else would have done the washing up to cover the bill while @mother_of_daughters & I played the ‘what house would we buy in Ibiza if we won the lottery’ game?”

Father Of Daughters

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“I’m not sure what triggered it. perhaps if was the 80’s clothing accessorised with a sparky scrunchy, the impromptu outpouring of love with Delilah or maybe it was the smell of her perfume. What ever it was, yesterday, in the middle of pizza hut amongst the spilt drinks, shouting kids, poorly coloured in place mats, half eaten pizza crusts & liquified ice cream, an short burst wave of emotions crash over me & I suddenly felt 16 again – she didn’t notice, but while i looked on at the woman sitting across from me playing with our children, I experienced what I can only describe as a intense crush & I instantaneously fell in love with [my wife] all over again. she’s basically cool as f**k and makes me dry mouthed and clammy handed . I didn’t tell you at the time Clemmie, but you still make me want to go back in time and meet you all over again for the first time. Vomit inducing isn’t it…… God I have to stop watching Sex Education! ”

Father Of Daughters

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“Being the middle child can be tough. With the twins causing havoc at every opportunity and an older sister who has decided upon a career of testing the boundaries of what we’re willing to tolerate, I know that sometimes Marnie can feel a little left out. This has been especially true this weekend as Anya has had a friend over, meaning that for the last 2 days, the big girls have been doing whatever it is 11 year old girls do (from what I can tell, this involves starring into the fridge, Cackling as if you’re inhaled an entire cannister of laughing gas, having your face permanently uplit by a screen & talking a language I barely recognise as english). All Marnie wanted to do was be included & be part of the big girls club, but as every big sibling knows, little sisters are annoying and not cool, so Marnie had been cut out, resulting in tears & endless arguements. To make up for it, we’ve binging on films together & eating our body weight in snacks – no big girls allowed. They may not care but I know it means the world to Marnie as she’s smiling again which is priceless. ”

Father Of Daughters

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“We vowed early on that we wouldn’t dress Ottie & Delilah the same as Frankly it weirds me (and other people) out & makes the task of identifying them harder than threading a needle while wearing oven gloves covered in baby oil. We wanted them to embrace individuality, to be a seperate entities unto themselves & forge their own paths forward through life. What do they want to do? Dress exactly the same, all the live long day. If I attempt to offer up garms that are not identical, the world implodes in a crescendo of screams that dissolve eardrums & both of them get naked quicker than still life model who really likes his job. After getting so close to the end, I find myself riding the long snake everyone hates, all the way back to square 1. They win. Wear what you want. Sorry nursery, good luck telling them apart. ”

Father Of Daughters

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“Im not usually soppy but seeing this made my heart explode. It’s easy to forget that In amongst the chaos, the shouting & yelling that could quite literally wake the residents of a mortuary, the hair pulling, the floods tears, the arguments over toys that they have exact duplicates of and the constant running at full tilt (why can’t toddlers walk anywhere), there are also 2 little sisters who hold hands together when they’re nervous, that play private games I’ll never understand the rules to, that fetch their twin books in the evening, hand eachother muslins when the other one is crying that laugh & giggle uncontrollabky at one another when the lights go out at bed time. I’m glad they have eachother as, although they don’t know it yet and it probably doesn’t fell like it sometimes, they will always have a ready-made best friend on hand to cling on to. ”

Father Of Daughters

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“No, this is not a background extra milking their scene in some low budget B movie horror film. It’s the moment when I was getting headshots taken for my book & Ottie decided she absolutely positively couldn’t give me a moment to myself – transforming my moment, very much into her moment. Clemmie scooped her up seconds later & I can laugh at this now but it does remind me just how hard it can be to achieve the simplest of tasks when a wailing child is within close promixity – thanks @philippajames for catching the memory & exposing the realities behind the image you see in the book!”

Father Of Daughters

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“It’s ok to be scared. These 2 balls of pure energy, along with our older girls, are the centre of our universe, but it wasn’t always like that. I knew that outwardly I was supposed to be excited & celebrating that my tackle worked despite being kicked in the balls as a teenager, but in all honesty, when we found out we’re we destined to be twin parents, I bought a 6 month supply of brown trousers as we were scared shitless & we cried. A lot. To my knowledge, No one in the history of the planet has ever turned off the TV, leaned over to their partner & whispered seductively “tonight, let’s try for twins”. I know I didn’t. So to be told that we’re we getting a surprise ‘buy one get, one free’ offer from the “small human” supermarket was initially very hard to take onboard. We needn’t have worried as with all things, we adapted & made it work & now I can’t imagine life without being heavily outnumbered by my girls but I know many people who find out they’re going to be parents do, so this is a message to them – It’s normal to feel anxious. To be scared of the unknown & to feel out of control. It’s ok. Talk to your partner openly & share your worries. Bottling things up doesn’t solve problems & by opening up, you may just find you can support each other and become closer in the process. See stories for more on info. (Now cue a load of questions about their dresses & how cute they are). ”

Father Of Daughters

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“I’m the go to person for many things in my girls lives – homework help – I’ve got you covered. Need to fix something – I’m your man. Want to talk – I’m all ears. Wanna be idiotic for a bit – wingman, right here. The one thing I’ll never be is the person they go to when they get hurt. I could be a world class surgeon dressed as a bunny handing out chocolate but they’d walk right passed me as if I were transparent as Only mummy can kiss things better. Only mummy can stop the tears. Only mummy can apply the millionth plaster / bandaid to the 2 week old cut they just remembered and suddenly hurts so much, it brought on temporary paralysis and screams that shatter the neighbours wine glasses. A mothers love is a mother’s love and nothing else compares. On a side note, I swear we’re raising a generation of extreme hypochondriacs and that the manufacturer of plasters must be overtaking the owner of Amazon on the world’s rich list soon!”

Father Of Daughters

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“Being an older sibling in what is classified as a large family can be a thankless task. Through no fault of their own both Anya and Marnie have been drafted in, conscription style, into being unpaid nursery workers to allow us breathing space to make dinner & reheat that cup of tea for the 4th that now has a skin so thick you can hold the mug upside, safe in the knowledge that nothing will come out. They had no voting rights when it came the size of our family or when we dished out roles & responsibilities and I’m sure that 75% of the time they find the small people that intruded on their cost setup & take up the vast majority of our parenting attention more an annoying than emptying the kitchen bin only for the liner to break , but without them stepping up, this mass of organised chaos we call family life just wouldn’t work. Here’s to the unsung heroes, to older siblings. You don’t realise it yet, but you’re the ones that keep us parents sane. ”

Father Of Daughters

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“Somehow, we blinked and 10 years of marriage with this one has vanished over the horizon in the rear view mirror, yet she still has the ability to take my breath away, give me the kind of heart palpitations that would worry a GP and generally make me feel like & act a 15 year old man child who knows he’s punching above his weight. Thanks for putting up with me, for having all the babies & for agreeing to share your life with me @mother_of_daughters , I promise to keep things interesting and to make our lives together the best they can be . Here’s to the next 10 – let’s just try to procreate less this coming decade.”

Father Of Daughters

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“Eating out as a family of 6 is usually a fairly stressful event but just because we have 4 daughters shouldn’t mean we resign ourselves to being house bound & draw the curtains until they’re all over 18. Yes the overpriced carbonated drinks bought as a treat will be on the floor before we order food, and yes the highchairs that are obviously designed by people who hate parents will be used as soapboxes for the twins to shout from as they wave cultery around like a scene from brave heart. Yes, I will spend 60% of the time either chasing kids, escorting them to the window to see the view or apologising to fellow dinners as my magpie-like children go through their bags. Yes, our food will be cold & yes the floor will end up looking like ‘the upside down’ from Stranger Things, but when moments like these happen it makes it all worth while. ”

Father Of Daughters

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“This woman drags me out of shell. She makes me a better version of myself and is probably the only reason I have any adult friends that aren’t my family. The collective hive mind that is the ‘local mums’ have not only driven us reclusive dads to talk to eachother beyond comments about the weather but also brought us together as a community and I’m eternally grateful they made it happen. This evening we held our first Christmas drinks party with friends and neighbours and it wouldn’t have taken place without them, So here’s to the mums – The one that organise the social calendar. The ones that put themselves out there and the ones that make the effort. To the mums that schedule play dates, that make picnic suppers and that do the stocking fillers without being asked. To the mums that pay attention to the detail and that make Christmas magical not only for the kids, but for everyone around them. You’ve thrawed this Scrooge’s heart and actually made me feel festive! ”

Father Of Daughters

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“Yes piers, this look is for you.
Now I’m not one to get drawn into nonsense that is designed to provoke a reaction because, unlike Piers morgan, I’m in not a toddler in an adults body. But when a man, who’s views come straight out of the back pages of lads mags from the 1920’s, mocks men for carrying their babies in a carrier, I get quite annoyed. I’ve had a child attached to me for the best part of a decade and as anyone knows, accessorising your outfit by wearing a child is so in right now. In fact I used to double up for that extra ‘wow’ factor so I guess in his mind I must be 200% emasculated and basically have a vagina. There is nothing more manly than a dad demonstrating their ability to care for their child and if you think otherwise, then you look around and move with the times. One day the dinosaurs will all die out and turn to oil, leaving the next generation to laugh at the views of the relics that went before them, but in the mean time, let’s avoid giving a soap box to people who use it to simply annoy everyone.”

Father Of Daughters

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“To those that think having a child is the end of your social life, to those that think it’s all over. To those that believe that being a parent means a complete change in life style – don’t ever forget who you are and what you loved doing before your have a small version of yourself to look after. Embrace what you have and involve them in your life. Dont settle. Don’t turn things down. Dont become just a parent. You are who you are and having children doesn’t mean you should limit yourself or what you want to do, especially it comes to enjoying yourself. You can still smash a festival and be a good parent as demonstrated by my wife @mother_of_daughters . We are living proof!”

Father Of Daughters

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“You won’t believe me, but this picture of @mother_of_daughters was taken in 2007, 2 weeks before Anya burst onto the scene & Clemmie was officially classified as a mother for the first time. 10 years on and she’s been through it all – the births, the cracked nipples, the ‘living on 2 hours sleep while your face falls of through sheer exhaustion’, the night feeds, the tandum feeds, the lose of hair, the changes in body shape, the balancing of work trying to be a present parent & dealing with the wheelbarrow loads of guilt that come with it. She’s organised the birthday parties, bought the clothes, see all the plays, done the parents evenings, praised the questionable art work, read the bed time books, cleared up the vomit, wiped all the arses and she’s done it all while putting up with me. Happy mother’s day to all mothers out there, but especially to my wife who amazes me every single day. You really are incredible and our girls are so lucky – they’ll realise just how much one day, I promise.”

Father Of Daughters

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“There’s bed head & then there’s Delilah’s bed head, which has apparently taken some kind of performance enhancing drugs. Her 70’s style disco bouffon looked like the 3 way love child of don king, an angry box of vipers & a mound of candy floss and it quite literally blocked out the sun. Despite not being called Vidal Sassoon, I’m usually the one that deals with all the girls hair (apparently @mother_of_daughters pulls too much, which I’m sure she’s done on purpose just to give me more to do) but today Clemmie took one for the team, took command & did what any self respecting time-poor parent would do – forced a hat over this particular crime against hair styling & sent packing to nursery. They must have had fun removing it only to be confronted by medusa herself. Sorry nursery – There’s some clips & a tangle teezer in there somewhere.”

Father Of Daughters

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“Usually bedtime is like walking into a warzone, a warzone with low level lighting, soft furnishings & bunny rabbits. Its a place where books are used as sharp cornered weapons and children break camoflague from underneath soft toys to lob bottle shaped milk grenades indiscriminately at people over 4 ft tall, but tonight was different. In the time it took me to get milk squared away and peg it back upstairs, the twins exhausted all of their energy reserves, allowing the silent assassin, sweet sweet jetlag, to stealthly slip in behind enemy lines and render them comatose. This was our victory photo. Of course the victory is bitter sweet as I now have to move these dead weights & will no doubt be revisited by them at 3am when they think it’s morning, bit for now, we’ll bask in the glory that is 2 little girls that fought the good fight, but lost to sleep. (See stories for vids).”

Father Of Daughters

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“We seem to have been given the gift of time even though I don’t remember asking for it. Thanks to the kids who are still not quite adjusted & keep referring to UK time, we’re up before the sun rises, providing us with a full-on 15 hours of awake time to stuff with more fillings into than the burger I had for lunch. As a fringe benefit to early rises, not only did we get to transport Ottie around in full diva mode (she refused to take off the glasses or ears, not even for passing princesses), we were also one of the first people into the park, so after necking caffeinated drinks, we hit ‘Tower of Terror’ – a 13 floor free fall in an elavator (or ‘lift’ for us British lot). I think I left my breakfast somewhere up on the top floor but everyone came out alive & wanting more. Then, with failing legs by 12pm, all the girls took turns to go on one of the popular rides that never has a queue – my shoulders. I swear I’m 3 inches shorter now than at the start of the day. How come I never get carried!? ”

Father Of Daughters

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“I’ll forgive you for thinking this was either a really low grade game of hide and seek or the very sad annual meeting between the only 2 members of the ‘National Pavement Appreciation Society’, but in fact it was a result of stubborn child not wanting to put a coat on in weather so cold it would have had snowmen reaching for the heated blanket. This horizontal protest was heading no where fast until @mother_of_daughters employed the old tried & tested ‘I’ll just lie next to this apoplectic child silently and see what happens’ technique and sure enough, Ottie’s brain overloaded at the sight of an adult on the floor, rebooted into recovery mode and she quickly dusted herself off and rode off into the sun. She still didn’t have a coat on, but you take a win where you can in these situations. ”

Father Of Daughters

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“9 years ago, this woman made me whole and helped me set the foundation for our family of little women. She’s the cream cheese to my bagel, the vinegar to my chips, the gin to my tonic, the laces to my shoes. She completes me and makes life in a oestrogen fuelled house of sparkling rainbow shining highs & bottom of the bin liquids lows more manageable. I still have to pinch myself that you picked me out of all the other mediocre men that you could have chosen from in that nightclub with floor that stuck to your feet and stank of vomit & redbull, otherwise known as lizard lounge. Now lets make the most of not having kids haning off us, get proper pissed and regret it in the morning. Our anniversary expects it and you know how I hate to disappoint”

Father Of Daughters

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“The transition from cots to big girls beds is akin to getting transferred from Alcatraz to a minimum security prison that has an honesty check out policy at the gate. Now after reading 2 & half books (mainly to ourselves while they perform gymnastics and laugh at their own shadows whilst simultaneously down a bottle of milk quicker than a sailor in a drinking competition) & the lights go off, there is literally nothing more than our hopes and dreams to stop them conducting nocturnal excursions around their room, which they apparently carry out in lead boots, or at least that’s what it sounds like from downstairs. That’s the moment @mother_of_daughters & I play the old ‘it’s your turn’s game to see who has the futile job of returning them to their beds. Toddler straight jackets anyone? ”

Father Of Daughters

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“No I did not disregard the instructions & over inflate ottie’s armbands with enough helium for her to take off. I did however invoke the right of every father to chuck their off spring as high as physically possible, while @mother_of_daughters watched on with her heart in her mouth before it went into cardiac arrest, packed up its bags & booked into recovery facility to get over the sight of her youngest sticking 2 finger up to Isaac Newton & defying gravity. From what I can tell, the rule is that for every child you have you can throw them 1ft. Anya got the timid 1ft job but Ottie gets the full 4ft treatment everytime and squawks like a fledgling bird & loves it. Aren’t dad’s just the best (and worst at the same time).”

Father Of Daughters

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“Ok its not their 2nd birthday until tomorrow but logistically Monday is a nightmare, so today we celebrated Ottie and delilah’s gradual accent up the maturity curve. Im sure it’s been an odd day for them. One moment they were being put the bed, the next they’ve been woken up in party dresses, subjected to home done haircuts & paraded into a decorated room, filled with lots of cheering big people with stupid hats on – the look of confusion painted across their faces was priceless. It then dawned us that, other than eachother, they don’t really have any friends which was kind of sad, but I’m sure that will change. I can’t wait until they’re 5 & were left incharge of 20 kids sugar filled kids charging round soft play for their party like human bulldozers – then I’ll be wishing they were social recluses again!”

Father Of Daughters

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“It’s the age old conundrum that accompanies every day out with young kids – “shall we skip their afternoon nap?”. At the time, everyone is running around filled with so much sugar that any more, they’d be white cubes that you could drop into your tea or coffee, the sun’s beaming down, wines been poured & squeals of laughter float out to sea on the cool coastal breeze, yet in the back of your mind, you know that you’re making a trade off – great times now but by 5.30pm Armageddon will be thrust upon you as they crash and burn quicker than an unmanned prototype space shuttle designed by 3 year olds with a crayon. We obviously decided to push through – from ice-cream covered life lovers, to sofa dwelling depressives into the space of 30 minutes – It’s hard when you’re two isn’t it…”

Father Of Daughters

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“I don’t really do events but when you’ve got a lady on your arm looking hotter than a volcano with anger issues in a sauna, it’s important to make the most of the evening. Yes I got drunk, yes I was one of only 10 men in a room full of women adorned in wonderful dresses, and yes, I can’t pose without looking like a robot with stiff joints, but I get to take the princess home and the glass slipper fits like a glove. The fairy tale ending is all mine.”

Father Of Daughters

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“No one’s happy about bedtime at the moment, especially the twins. The routine used to be so simple – Change, feed, whack on the musical mobile, kiss & leave the room so quietly, you could hear a baby mouse fart – Done. Over the last 2 years however, We’ve buckled to the demands of the mini dictators with whom we share genetic code in order to buy silence which has resulted a routine that is quite frankly ridiculous. The whole process takes around 90 mins if we’re lucky – bath, teeth, wrestle nappies on, choose PJs, remove PJs as they don’t have bunnies on, find a twin that’s run off & hidden behind clemmie’s clothes, put nappies on again, give them milk, ensure they have more soft toys than an assassin who went to a fair ground, cleaned up on the duck hunt & promptly won all the cuddly bears, read a book, deal with a tantrum, argue over who had the dummy last, put them in one cot together to read, separate them after extensive hair pulling, kiss, hug, kiss again as one twin didn’t feel they got enough first time around, leave, come back in to return to their cots they’ve escape from, then repeat the whole process again until they’re shattered. Then it’s on to the eldest 2! No wonder our adult time has dwindled to 45 minutes in the evening….”

Father Of Daughters

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“This is the moment, almost 11 years ago to the minute, that i ceased being a man child and became man with child. I had become a father for the first time and that red mushy thing I’m hugging is my 1 minute old daughter Anya, who would eventually be the eldest of 4 . She’s been the one to blaze a trail for her sisters & has been burdened with the role of teaching me how to be a parent. She’s made me realise what I’m capable of if I apply myself and has helped me figure out what’s really important in my life. It seems like yesterday that Clemmie & I (aged 22 & 24) had just got home with her and plonked her on the living room floor totally at a loss of what to do next, but 11 years on, we’re all still here, a bit greyer, a bit wiser & still amazed by our baby girl. Happy birthday to the baby that turned into the intelligent, witty and passionate force of nature I know today (swipe right). ”

Father Of Daughters

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“This evening was one of those evening that made wonder if our kids had been given to us simply to test our patience. This is the moment I reprimanded these 2 – butter wouldn’t melt – cherubs after experiencing a bath time was not dissimilar to being a wet ‘n’ wild water park that had been temporarily taken over by a kracken that had lost control of its limbs. The sheer amount of water that came out of the bath and seeped through the floor boards gaps was enough to create a mini waterfall in the room below.At the same time Anya & Marnie decided to play hide and seek, not from eachother, but from us without our knowledge For 20 mins they vanished like a predator in camoflague mode, while the stress in both my & @mother_of_daughters voices boiled over. Let’s just say that school can’t start soon enough for any of us.”

Father Of Daughters

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“In the days before algorithm based romance and soul destroying swiping, people used to use Friday night to get to know eachother – Friday night was date night & last night was no exception, just with one important difference. Said in the nicest way possible so as to avoid unnecessary enquires from social services – last night I decided to hire a baby sitter, got dressed up & took my eldest on a ‘date’ – something I can’t emphasis the importance of enough. So what did it cost? Baby sitter £35, food £30, putting the world to rights over Asian food, cackling like a hyenna’s high on laughing gas & getting to know just a little more about the intelligent, witty & beautiful young women my daughter is becoming – priceless. Of course, we were chaperoned by @mother_of_daughters who suffers from serious FOMO, but it turns out that 3 isn’t a crowd after all – it’s just the right number to feel connected & to feel a little less like parents & a little more like friends. ”

Father Of Daughters

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“Never undestimate both the power & importance of date night: Today has been one of those days where I’ve seen the inside of a skip more than I’ve seen my wife. We’ve acted as unpaid Uber drivers, chauffeuring around unappreciative 1 star rated passengers, doing hand overs, drinking cold tea and kissing the backs of eachother heads as we watch eachother walk out the door to perform yet another drop off or dump run. So that’s why date night is so special. For 4 hours we won’t be parents. We won’t be arguing with kids over why they can’t have snacks at 9pm. We won’t be returning escapee minors back to their beds. Yes it costs us £50 before we even leave the house in baby sitter fees, but we get to be us and that is priceless. ”

Father Of Daughters

Image credits: Father of daughters

“Seeing as 90% of my followers are the opposite sex to me, perhaps you can help me work something out. As a father and a man, figuring out the intricacies of female relationships with eachother is more complex than solving a 12 sided Rubiks cube with my toes, blindfolded whilst reciting π to a 1000 decimal places. One moment they’re kissing eachother for no apparent reason, the next, they’re ripping eachothers hair our in clumps so big, they could be used as wigs for dolls. Girls then seem to graduate to emotionally tearing eachother apart which can be 100 times worse than physical attacks. Many female relationships seem like they’re pertually balanced on a knife edge between BFFs and mortal enemies & I’m flummoxed by the whole thing. I’m not saying that men are any better and this is obviously simplistic view but I’m interested as the concept of sisterhood is simple on the outside but a potential minefield on the inside!”

Father Of Daughters

Image credits: Father of daughters

“As a father of daughters & a family made up of 83% girls, I feel a big responsibility to make sure that all the women of varying sizes in my life grow up in a world where they are seen as equal and not objectified, so today after reading that sexual harassment in public is on the rise, my blood began to boil as the sad fact is that it’s a proportion of my sex that’s to blame. Call it locker room mentality or toxic masculinity or just call it being classless dicks – its certainly men that have to change. New legislation is all well & good but that only comes into effect after the act of harassment is committed. What we need is strong men to stand up & bring about a culture change and to not be afraid to say “that’s not right” when they see or hear something that they know to be wrong, even when amongst friends. If they don’t they are reinforcing that behaviour & are complicit in making life uncomfortable for another human being. Every woman is someone’s daughter, sister, wife or mother and more importantly a person, so don’t let tossers belittle them, threaten them or make them feel worth less than they are. Men – we have to be the change. ”

Father Of Daughters

Image credits: Father of daughters

“Tomorrow morning @mother_of_daughters will be jetting off on holiday with her sister & the big girls, leaving me in sole charge of this pair of professional patience testers (I couldn’t take the time off work to go). It’s my faulty really as I encouraged her to go as a way of getting some much needed 1 on 1 time with Anya & Marnie, but I still can’t help feeling jealous. I’ll be using this opportunity over the next week to dispel (or reinforce) all those commonly held myths about men and what they do when they are left alone to parent i.e. we live off junk food, no washing will be done, flowers Will die, the house will become a squat, the bed won’t get made & the kids will end up resembling particularly hard up, unwashed vagrants. Let’s see what happens. Initial signs aren’t great as this morning, after enduring more whining than a marathon tasting session at a French vineyard, I cracked & gave into the twins demands….For pom bear crisps….At 9.12am. But just look how happy they are!!! Oh god, this may be more of a challenge than I first thought.”

Father Of Daughters

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“Birthdays parties are one of few times in your life can legitimately make it all about you without feeling guilty. To shamelessly get your way and to soak up the attention showered up on you from all directions – perfect both for 3 year old and 36 year olds who haven’t grown up yet (i.e. me). But what happens if you to share that day with someone who’s a mirror image of you and loves nothing more than following you around like a shadow in a heatwave? The answer – a competition to take centre stage – the eventual winner (Ottilie) then led a dance to a seemingly never ending loop of baby shark while the loser (Delilah) clinged me in the kitchen as I make crustless ham sandwiches Picture 3 tells the whole story in one shot! I guess twin like can be hard sometimes. Fyi @mother_of_daughters will kill me for this picture because of “all the chins” but she looks great and I rarely get all my girls in one shot, so suck it up Clemmie, you’re beautiful from all angles. Photos by @rebeccadouglasphotography and me!”

Father Of Daughters

Image credits: Father of daughters

“T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…..apart from the 4 hyped up children who have main lined festive spirit intravenously & are massively over excited at the prospect of a large guy dressed in red, breaking into our home and leaving presents in their bedroom. Father Christmas is getting advocaat this year as daddy forgot to buy sherry and now I’m banished to the “wrapping room” for the next 2 hours to pay for my sins as once again, I’ve last everything to the last minute. Good luck everyone, merry Christmas and here’s to hoping you don’t see your children eye balling you from the foot of your bed at 3.38am shouting “he came, he came!!!”

Father Of Daughters

Image credits: Father of daughters

“Yes – I’ve just walked in on a private regression therapy session for twins who can’t cope with growing up.
The time comes in every child’s development that you stop measuring their age in months & they cease being babies. For most parents this milestone is marked with a heavy internal sign of relief that they’ve got through the ‘caring for a ball of flesh’ phase without turning a permanent greyish green that paint companies would no doubt name ‘parent corpse Grey’. This is then immediately followed by weeping over the fact our babies are no longer completely reliant on us & refuse to stop growing despite the sand bags placed on their heads while they sleep. Yet apparently my girls aren’t ready to let go of their hazy rose tinted pre nursery days just yet either & have taken to treating eachother like babies again. I’ve even caught them changing eachother nappies which was a joy all the senses, especially the sense of smell.”

Father Of Daughters

Image credits: Father of daughters

“Around 100,000 yrs ago, humans developed speech. About a week later, they started arguing about their kids & whether their characters were based on nature or nuture, along with who’d win this season’s ‘caveman’s got talent’. Well, in an effort to put that argument to bed once & for all, 19 mths ago we ‘chose’ to have identical twins as test subjects. We treated them exactly the same & yet they have developed independent characters, (which is primarily how I tell them apart). Ottie is the one who’ll get Delilah her muslin if she’s upset, will be the first to offer a hand for holding to her sister, share her food with those around her & generally be a caring person – also known as being a ‘giver’. Delilah is just a ‘taker’ – no explanation required. This photo captures their relationsip to a T – Ottie provides her uterus room mate with sustainence while Delilah gleefully scoffs it, without so much as a thank you. Today, Delilah literally bit the hand that fed her when ottie tried to hold her hand. Hello naughty step, this is Delilah, get used to her. ”

Father Of Daughters

Image credits: Father of daughters

“This was the moment I got to hold Ottie, the last addition to team Hooper, for the first time. Although we’re now 100% late for everything, 75% of my girls have turned up early for their birth, over eager to escape the confines of their warm soft home and see what all the fuss was about & seeing as it’s World Prematurity Day I thought I’d share this moment with you. Oh & in case you’re wondering, no I don’t have a festish for exposing myself to midwives or enjoy showing off the results of massive gym sessions (mainly because I don’t have time to go to the gym), it’s actually because I’m doing skin to skin, something I’ve done with all my girls. There’s something very special about that moment. it’s a real physical connection that makes you go from a helpless guy in a room to father in a nano second. Argh I miss their new born ”

Father Of Daughters

Image credits: Father of daughters

“is it just me or does domestic drama seem to quadruple when one half of the parenting team is away? I’m 6700 miles from home & miss my girls dearly but I’m affraid to call as every conversation is essentially a long list of things that have gone wrong since my departure that I can literally nothing about. Girls got nits? the dog’s experiencing powerful explosive diarrhea that’s turned the house into a scaled down raw sewage plant where everyone gaggs @mother_of_daughters forced to sleep on the sofa with said dog and clear up shit every 2 hours throughout the night. Plumbing broken shorted electrics girls who have given up normal vocal communication & replaced it with shouting & screaming at eachother to say I feel gui