2020-03-16 18:16
This article by a BBC Future blogger hit me pretty hard when I saw it late last week. Here's the excerpt that dropped on me like a ton of bricks:“Patient Five” was in his late 50… Read More
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Zombie Logic From Thomas L. Vaultonburg, Outsider Blog
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Poetry, web comics, movie reviews, artwork, and commentary on politics, zombies, and sports by poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg.
2020-02-19 21:31
I need a new lead designer in house. Actually, I need my old lead designer in house. I'm not even sure how to work with anyone else or why I'd want to. Working on something I think coul… Read More
2019-12-19 22:43
Osip woke in his cell again not knowing what day it was, what hour, or if anyone else even existed anymore. His last question was answered quickly as one of the guards gave him his daily rep… Read More
2019-12-19 20:31
Don't fight it, write it. That's what my therapist says. She's doesn't actually say that, but she does say write it out. This is an older poem that is necessary to put one I just wrote this… Read More
2019-12-19 20:11
I want to improvise a couple of poems I woke up at six a.m. to jot down ideas for. It hasn't happened like that in years. Working through Kubler Ross's five stages of grief. I can see them i… Read More
2019-12-16 23:33
"It takes ninety days for a drop of rain to travel from Lake Itasca to the Gulf of Mexico," he said from his barstool. "And they say the same thing in St. Paul and St. Louis and Memphis and… Read More
2019-12-04 04:12
There's no one left that cares. The most tragic and traumatic times in your life are just reduced to entertainment for others. They move on. Why should they care?I raised children… Read More
2019-12-01 22:52
By the time it really sunk in that I was fighting for my relationship against real competitors, I was so far behind in the race there didn't seem any way to catch up. They had months of grou… Read More
2019-12-01 00:58
When I was a child I was sexually assaulted several times by an older neighborhood kid. I may have been six, seven, maybe eight, I can't remember. He was the brother of a friend I had of the… Read More
2019-12-01 00:18
The most ruthless act I ever observed in my life transpired between my parents. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and went through the usual quick progression of succumbing. She k… Read More
2019-11-27 04:13
If you gang up on and kick someone when they're down after losing their partner, kids, and dog, have gone into heart and kidney failure and are in abject agony, then throw on top of that the… Read More
2019-11-20 05:15
Mudveinthere is an almost sadisticglee in your eyes as you watch meeat the ass out of three, fourfive crawfish before you tell meabout the mudvein,and it is a favor i returnlater in the even… Read More
2018-07-25 00:26
Growing up as a teen in the 80's the video store was a sacred place in my life. And the animations for a hundred different horror movie distribution companies still elicit a Pavlovian respon… Read More
2018-07-22 16:15
What amazes me about the poems in this book is how elegantly they delve into some really dark subject matter, but are never once prurient, or mean-spirited. There's humanity to these observa… Read More
2018-07-21 18:10
I've decided to see my archival copies of the legendary Iced Cream by Jesus Correa and do a second printing, so this is absolutely your last chance to get a copy of the 1st printing of this… Read More
2018-07-20 19:35
This 22X28 poster is a field guide to all the freshwater mermaids that reside in the waters of North America. It was drawn by renowned illustrator Jenny Mathews of Rockford Illustrating. The… Read More
2018-07-14 04:58
Had a blast today at the Rockford Area Arts Council booth at Rockford City Market unveiling The Koa Tree, the second children's book by Stephen Schreiner. Now it is available here at Zombie… Read More
2018-06-06 19:10
Bromm and Spork emerge gingerly from a hedge where they had been lost for some time in a maze. The first sight they see is a centaur galloping towards them. It is being hunted by a group of… Read More
2018-05-30 18:51
As we waited for the mysterious monk Pliz'skin to exit Gilmour's Glorious Goods we agreed to all go to our respective temporary living quarters and meet up in the morning to pay the Tiefling… Read More
2018-05-25 01:14
One of the drawbacks of having the greatest artist in America, Jenny Mathews, as my partner, aside from taking a drink out of a glass containing paintwater occassionaly, is that she makes do… Read More
2018-05-23 06:41
Little did our party realize as we wrapped up our scrutinization of the murder scene at the estate of the nobleman Kormallis that we were about to be joined by a new member. From out of the… Read More
2018-05-17 02:36
Our Tal' Dorei campaign began last night, and none of us knew what to expect as we sat down at the table. I think it's safe to say none of us was expecting a gritty, noir-style murder myster… Read More
2018-04-29 08:18
Our Planescape Tuesdays campaign that started in Dragonlance and ended up with the Great Wheel turning and wiping the entire multiverse out of existence concluded this Tuesday. Well, to be t… Read More
2018-02-12 04:26
Last weekend we went to Joe Tallman and Allison Wuest's show at J.R. Kortman here in Rockford, and I saw this piece that really knocked me out. Since my heart surgery I'm always drawn to wor… Read More
2018-02-11 23:28
During the rabid years of the Satanic Panic, circa 1983, they started removing books from the Byron High School library, then eventually cracked down on anyone playing Dungeons and Dragons o… Read More
2018-01-28 20:20
Poetry ReadingThe Uptown Cultural Center'sLiason for Community EducationSteps to the podium and gives a brief speilAbout the essential natureOf poetry in the community,And how poetry is for… Read More
2018-01-26 19:53
This is a list of horror movies I watch on a semi-constant basis with a few quick notes to remind me what they are when I forget. It is not intended as a detailed synoposis of those movies… Read More
2018-01-26 03:30
Outsider Poetry: Love Poem For Valentine's Day 2018: Just wanted to be self-indulgent and post one of the love poems I have written for my partner. This year she decided to type some of the… Read More
2018-01-25 03:35
Dragonborn sorcerer (and con man) Argar Da'argagaar and his thick friend Aramus Perterberator, a blaqueguard fighter, burst from the Stygian darkness of the Underdark likes spring hares runn… Read More
2018-01-23 23:46
2018-01-14 00:37
I look up, and it's another month since I've blogged, and I still have nothing to say. Jenny got me a Dell Latitude 2006 laptop, and the keyboard actually works, so now I have no excuse… Read More
2017-12-07 02:15
Going to spend the night here at Zombie Logic Press headquarters on the Holmes Block. Just rented Enter the Devil on Amazon video. Haven't written a word here in two months. Not a damn thing… Read More
2017-10-10 00:05
Bloodroot Silverthistle by Ella Mathews Read More
2017-09-30 21:56
Hard to believe Bittersweet Observations is coming down Monday. It seems like just yesterday we were doing the installation. We'll have to lug those four heavy typewriters home, the 26 panel… Read More
2017-09-25 14:54
2017-09-25 14:28
Zombie Logic Press is proud to announce the launch of its 5th book in the Rock River Literary Series, “Lonely Bird” by Stephen Schreiner. Lonely Bird is quite a unique book for c… Read More
2017-08-29 03:55
Received these wonderful, untouched VHS tapes in the mail Saturday. Got them for the price of postage. All twenty episodes of one of my favorite television shows of all time: Kolchak: The Ni… Read More
2017-08-24 05:34
It seems like two months have slipped by since I last wrote. Two months, coincidentally, since I joined a Dungeons and Dragons campaign with my friend Andrew. We walked into acampaign that h… Read More
2017-06-24 18:50
I have been invited to join a Dungeons and Dragons campaign starting this Tuesday. The only rub: they're playing 5th Edition, and the last time I played we were playing first edition. So, I… Read More
2017-06-18 00:41
On the eve of Father's Day I wonder if I should call my dad and tell him I wrote another book, and it's on the walls of a museum.Nah. I'm good. As for my guys, everyone got in a motor h… Read More
2017-06-14 04:51
Instead of telling your kids to shut the f+$# up and go to bed I thought I might teach them a little bit about dealing with the fears and anxieties of childhood, maybe throw in a few li… Read More
2017-06-13 21:32
Being any type of artist can sometimes be a very frustrating experience. Working so hard to create something you hope other people will enjoy, even give you money for, and ending up feeling… Read More
2017-05-29 21:38
A new book of poetry is designed to help children deal with the stresses and anxieties particular to childhood.Atrocious Poems A To Z is the second children's book from creative team Jenny M… Read More
2017-05-27 05:56
I have once again made something absolutely nobody wants, and this makes me extremely happy.It's a book.Yay! Read More
2017-05-26 04:35
For over two years I had this Hot Wheel on my Ebay queue. But I never had the chutzpah to make an offer I thought the seller would accept. In that two years I probably only saw a handful eve… Read More
2017-05-25 22:07
Just mowed the back lawn with our old-fashioned push mower. Now I'm going to post a few new poems from my new book Atrocious Poems A To Z.GravityGravity is a forceThat remains my enemy.When… Read More
2017-05-11 22:47
In a Midwestern city not too far away in a future far, far from now, Zombie Logic Press became part of Rockford history. The only issue I have is the story is dated 2907, and while I mi… Read More
2017-05-04 22:59
In Gestalt Psychology there is a clinical term called "unfinished business." Unfinished business is defined as the unexpressed feelings that are associated with distinct memories and fantasi… Read More
2017-05-04 18:51
Out of curiosity I picked up a few of the most recent children's books Jack has gotten. Every one of them that was Disney or Marvel or Minions or anything in the popular culture was printed… Read More
2017-05-03 19:15
Jenny • Now Read More
2017-05-03 18:29
2017-05-03 02:47
After a scant forty years of work, my seventh book is now at the printers. It is a book I am sure my 5th grade teacher never would have envisioned me finishing. Perhaps I should send her a c… Read More
2017-03-16 04:09
I feel like this item might just be a myth, like the Monster's Genealogical Chart. Elvira Thriller Video Standee"It was in an estate we bought out. He was a paper collector and had tons… Read More
2017-03-10 02:21
I figured if Dark Shadows can slip around from era to era, so can I , and I decided to watch episode 1109, mostly because I read that zombies are involved and I wanted to see how they were h… Read More
2017-03-10 00:09
"The past and the present have intermingled at Collinwood." Victoria Winters goes to the Old House to find Barnabas, but finds Willie Loomis there. He says get out of this house right now. S… Read More
2017-03-09 06:26
"Nightime in itself can be lonely. But then one gets used to loneliness. It's part of existence" says Barnabas Collins to Maggie Evans after he has surprised her at the cafe as she is closin… Read More
2017-03-09 06:02
Willie Loomis seems to be feeling a lot better. He no longer looks ghoulish.Willie seems to have made a miraculous recovery, and agrees to leave Collinwood. First he tries to apologize to Vi… Read More
2017-03-08 05:33
"A dawn obscured by mists from the sea slowly creeps towards Collinwood. Through the morning mist a man emerges from the darkest pit a man can know." Victoria narrates the introduction of ep… Read More
2017-03-08 04:54
"There are those who walk the path of darkness. Those who can never be good."So opines Victoria Winters in the introduction to episode 218 of Dark Shadows. Will Barnabas Collins return… Read More
2017-03-07 07:01
I've been wanting to do a rather detailed history of polyhedral dice, and specifically the dice used for Dungeons and Dragons, but tonight won't be that night. But I do want to say a few thi… Read More
2017-03-05 22:13
Episode 217 of Dark Shadows begins with Willie Loomis writing in bed. Jason McGuire examines him, and the removes the bandage on his wrist. The wound appears to be no more than a scratch, bu… Read More
2017-03-03 18:36
Opens at the Blue Whale. We learn Burke Devlin has previously tossed Willie Loomis out of the Blue Whale. But now Willie Loomis has disappeared again. Burke and Jason McGuire ponder Willie's… Read More
2017-03-03 18:30
Meet the new Willie. Victoria Winters once again narrates the opening, explaining Willie Loomis is no longer violent, but her words are belied by seeing Willie looking absolutely ghoulish, a… Read More
2017-03-03 02:33
Having watched almost twenty minutes of episode 213 of Dark Shadows it occurs to me this could almost be just another soap opera. The only thing that stands out is there are long scenes in T… Read More
2017-03-03 02:30
Victoria Winters once again narrates the opening of episode 214, speaking in elevated language about the two Collins' houses. The new house, teaming with life, and the Old House, slowly deca… Read More
2017-03-02 21:36
Awesome episode. Watched it while riding my Schwinn Aerdyne on wireless headphones while watching traffic and snow flurries out the window. Victoria Winters narrates the opening of the episo… Read More
2017-03-02 06:53
After 210 episodes we finally meet the character who will forever be known as the star of the series, Barnabas Collins. Trapped and chained in his coffin for 200 years, what will he do after… Read More
2017-03-02 06:14
I will now begin watching Dark Shadows at episode 210 and watch the remaining 500 hours of the show. My mother used to watch it when I was a kid, but I couldn't possibly have been old enough… Read More
2017-02-24 20:33
Seems like in the past few months the world has been tilted on its axis. Even here in Northern Illinois, right on the Wisconsin border, where nothing ever seem to change very fast, the chang… Read More
2017-01-20 05:25
Word came out today that trump plans to sell off NPR and PBS to the highest bidder. He also plans to slash funding to NASA. It's not clear if the descent into chaos will be sudden or gradual… Read More
2017-01-09 07:22
On the evening of January 29, 1983, exactly one week before The Monster Club, the movie Craze aired as Episode 19 of season 2 of Elvira's Movie Macabre. I do not remember seeing this movie… Read More
2017-01-07 21:22
Thriller Video was a short-lived distributor of VHS and Beta tapes who began releasing tapes in February 1985, and released tapes through 1989. They were notable for their big box format, an… Read More
2017-01-03 06:37
"That gal on the couch who ain't no slouch."So began Season 3 Episode 6 of Elvira's Movie Macabre, Island of the Doomed, on the evening of November 20, 1983. Was I watching? I don't think so… Read More
2017-01-02 22:46
"Tonight's movie is Legacy of Blood. Legacy is an Italian word. Like, this is my leg yacee? And this is my other leg yacee?"Movie Macabre intro to Legacy of Blood. April 10, 1982I'm very exc… Read More
2017-01-02 01:15
The first three episodes of Elvira's Movie Macabre were a rather radical departure from the later tenor of the series in that they were fairly serious horror movies, complete with sex, gore… Read More
2016-12-30 21:05
Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype appeared on Elvira's Movie Macabre March 17th, 1984, exactly one week after Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and you better believe I was watching. It was season 3 epis… Read More
2016-11-30 09:23
Powering out of the funk for the first time in weeks for some reason this is happening at three a.m. but it's been so oppressive I'm not going to question it. I wanted to say getting a chanc… Read More
2016-11-16 22:55
The New York Times reports that President elect Donald Trump has been holed up in his Tower for days while outside protesters have to be held at bay by police and the Secret Service. Tr… Read More
2016-11-15 02:08
2016-11-13 19:57
There are judges and lawyers and Silicon Valley multi-millionaires that came out of the small town I grew up in. College professors, doctors, and poets. Then there are half the kids who deci… Read More
2016-11-07 19:47
The Wikileaks problem is troubling beyond the scope of this election in the sense that now they have proven they can disrupt our most important election, they can come to candidates now and… Read More
2016-11-03 04:49
And...I want all the Cardinal and White Sox fans that I grew up with and have known all these years to know that you have been insufferable pricks and I have a dislike for you that wil… Read More
2016-08-01 06:12
For the first time ever I have a copy of Scream and Scream Again on VHS, and I'm playing it for the second time tonight here at the apartment. Watching it with no sound the plot just becomes… Read More
2016-07-30 03:28
Some days I wake up and I think to myself, "What is absolutely the dumbest thing I could do today?" And a few weeks ago I sunk to a new low with my answer: collect cassette tapes. What?… Read More
2016-07-27 04:59
Yesterday it was time to go to the YMCA. Jack and Jenny were going to swim, and I was going to go into the gym and workout, then do cardio upstairs. First we ran a few laps around the track… Read More
2016-07-20 01:35
It is an entirely fictional disease that has been fabricated in the script of HBO's Emmy nominated show, "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Groat's Syndrome, also known as Groat's Disease, is a neurolo… Read More
2016-07-19 00:31
Watching Chachi Arcola speak I have one response: I hope Trump wins, and I hope they take away your video games and pornography, because that's all you seem to care about, and it shouldn't b… Read More
2016-07-16 02:07
I have never been a big fan of David Lynch. It's not that I don't get it, I just think there's not as much there to get as other people do. Sort of like the band Rush. Doesn't seem that deep… Read More
2016-07-14 04:38
My Space was a game changer for me socially. It has been about twelve years since My Space, and I lead a completely different life. Better, richer, fuller. It's hard for me to separate the a… Read More
2016-07-12 23:35
Basically anything right now. All hell has broken loose in the Universe, in America, and in my corner of the Universe.We spent part of the weekend at the Renaissance Fair in Kenosha. Seemed… Read More
2016-07-08 01:14
With the grim news earlier in the week that police had discovered a body decomposing in a garbage can on Market Street, today's scuttlebutt that the remains had possibly been there for years… Read More
2016-07-06 20:00
I pulled a muscle in my diaphragm last night finishing a poem about outsider poet Jesus Correa. Hammered out an acceptable draft around 2:30 a.m., then posted it to the Rockford Pages blog… Read More
2016-07-06 04:49
The heat and humidity has returned in force, and I'm here at the apartment again for the night, and after five hours the air conditioner has barely put a dent in the humidity. It's enough to… Read More
2016-07-03 03:02
The bad news is Count Dracula is the bartender!Monsters rule OK.I usually play The Monster Club on an almost continuous loop when I'm at the apartment. I have had the same VHS tape since 199… Read More
2016-07-02 19:25
Several celebrities have expressed interest in joining the Outsider Poetry Slam League of America for the 2017 season after the rousingly successful 2016 season, which culminated in the Ranc… Read More
2016-07-02 01:35
I'm continuing to use Zombie Logic, and now not quite blank as pure blogs in the original sense that there is no theme or purpose except for me to be able to open them up whenever I feel lik… Read More
2016-07-01 06:42
Watching Dawn of the Dead director's cut after doing cardio and washing the dishes, and it's one of those few times in my life when I feel caught up. It's a shame it is so late, because I'd… Read More
2016-06-28 05:38
There was a time in my life when I thought there would be infinite progress. I would get smarter, stronger, wiser, and more successful incrementally forever. Now I knew this wasn't true, or… Read More
2016-06-23 18:53
A few words as I get ready to eat my TGIFridays chicken wings.Apparently a very few words, because I never went back to finish that blog yesterday, and I have no idea what my original though… Read More
2016-06-13 21:46
Just went through a rather grueling couple of months, which culminated in a vacation to New Orleans and the book release party for The Blood Dark Sea, which I had to host and perform as Jesu… Read More
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