In an era where it is increasingly difficult to find public Toilets in Britain (https://wp.me/p2EWYd-36f), let alone ones which work, it is pleasing to learn that the Town Council of Porthcawl, a coastal resort 25 miles to the west of Cardiff, is planning to replace its existing bogs in Griffin Park with new loos at a projected cost of £170,000.

The toilets will self-clean, I’m told. But they also come with additional feature which may just be a sign of the times.

They will come with weight-sensitive floors and sensors designed to detect violent movements. Once triggered, fine jets of water will squirt over the occupants, the doors will automatically open and a high-pitched alarm will sound. The Council say that this is designed to dissuade two or more people using the cubicle to engage in sexual activity.

It seems to me, though, to be fraught with difficulties. What if you are a tad on the large side or accompanying your child or, heaven forbid, struggling with a bad case of constipation?

It gets worse, though. The toilets come with a timer which will restrict the time you spend inside the cubicle. If you are outstaying your welcome, you will be greeted with an audible warning and then the lights and heating will go off.

The only bright spot is that the walls and floors will be made of graffiti-resistant materials.

These proposals are still at the planning stage and, although I don’t know the types of people who use the public toilets in Porthcawl, I suspect they will be toned down.

Still, the good news is that a new block of public toilets is to be built, bucking the national trend.