This Easter holds special meaning for me because this weekend is simultaneously the best and worst weekend of my year, and I'm so glad it ended on a good note!
The last couple of months has been challenging for me. I was under a lot of stress and at some point I honestly felt like I was losing my mind. I think it's an accumulation of a lot of bottled up resentment, and I actually found myself raging inside whenever I had to deal with difficult people. I've never felt like this in my life before so I really didn't know how to handle these negative feelings.
So on Easter morning I woke up to the worst morning I've had in awhile. Long story short there were problems at work so I ended up having to rush to the store.
While driving to work I asked God what is it He wanted me to learn from all these situations that I'm placed in? Why do I encounter so much difficulty when dealing with certain people?
And then I had a Revelation - I am accountable only for my own behaviour. I realised that if one day I were to stand in heaven and see God face to face, I don't want to watch my life flash before me and see myself raging or feeling negatively towards others. If anybody ever does me wrong or does something negative, then they are accountable for their own behaviour towards God. Let God be the judge. My place is only to forgive and let go if I'm feeling angry or hurt, and ultimately just watch my own reaction.
I felt like a heavy burden has finally been lifted from my heart and it's sooooo liberating ~
Thank you my Heavenly Father for helping me see the light in my very dark days; and I pray you'll help me lead a life I won't feel ashamed looking back on when I go to heaven one day