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Keep track of those body parts!

When you're writing, it's easy to come up with dramatic similes, metaphors, and descriptions that go a step too far. Here are a few actual examples from published books, thanks to a column David Langford wrote a while back for SFX magazine (unlike Langford, I'm sparing the authors their blushes):

"Franklin left his eyes on the floor, took a half step backward."

"His eyes fixed like grappling hooks on AAri's Face..."

"...his eyes felt as if they had tendrils growing out of them, crawling like ants across the floorboards."

"Eyes like Anguished Talons were clutching hers." (Eyes like talons are bad enough, but anguished talons?)

It's not only eyes doing unusual things:

"The wind was shrieking, and so were her legs."

"I said through grated teeth." (Ouch, that one hurts to even think about.)

"Her face had the fragrance of a gibbous moon."

His unruly shock of red hair towered six feet above the floor."

"He felt once again the desire to bite his own backside in fury." 

And my favorite:

"His dark face was pale."

This post first appeared on Time To Write, please read the originial post: here

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Keep track of those body parts!


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