Farrah Abraham is probably the most ambitious out of all the Teen Mom ladies.
She's opened several business within the last year, she made sure to capitalize on her fame by releasing that sex tape after the first run of Teen Mom was cancelled ...
When the sex tape was successful, she actually made molds of her genitals so she could sell her very own sex toys.
The girl's got some hustle, that much is undeniable.
Farrah is so serious about her career that she's even completed the ultimate business-minded person's rite of passage: she went and lied her ass off on her LinkedIn profile.
What's that? You've never seen her LinkedIn profile?
Well, then sit back, relax, and allow us to take you on a journey through one of the most strange and magical places on the internet ...
1. Your Girl Farrah
There she is! Her profile picture is recent, which we all know is important. Her most recent gig is listed right there -- her upcoming MTV dating show -- and she's got lots of connections. Maybe this will actually be fine!
2. It's All Downhill from Here ...
But when you scroll down a little bit, you get to her summary -- the part of the profile where she tells us all about herself and her background. And it's ... well, it's not good.
3. Humble Beginnings
"I once saw a boy run a lemonade Stand on a corner," she writes of her very first job. "I opened my own and took all of his business and made the local news paper by being sweet & savvy! Plus I hired the neighbor kids to help me and started other local neighborhood businesses."
4. The Cart Girl
"I was once the cart girl at a grocery store starting at minimum wage and corperate America & had to apply 3 times before getting the job, then worked my way up the ladder to bag sacker, cashier, catering and food sampler," she recounts of her next gig. "Today I've had my own products being sold in whole foods and grocery stores, selling out." Sure, Farrah. Sure.
5. The Modesty!
"I was once the girl buying all those magazines and now I'm on the cover and in magazines and am the star of every occasion," Farrah says. "I once strived to be the best in reality television and now I'm the top reality star and top 10 Listed Female Celebrity
in the nation." The top 10 listed female celebrity, guys. That's how important Farrah Abraham is.
6. Can She Read Though?
"I once couldn't finish a book," she reveals, "and now I made the New York Times Best Sellers List and wrote a memoir, trilogy and children's book." Don't brag too hard, girl. You may have "written" a "book," but you're still not all that great at stringing a sentence together. Finish more books.