Rob Kardashian has issued an apology, made a vow and asked for your prayers.
All in the course of a couple Instagram posts.
Over the weekend, Kardashian and Blac Chyna appeared to break up for the 978th time, although this split was scripted in especially impressive and creative fashion.
FIRST, Chyna claimed someone hacked into her Instagram account, leaking damaging emails and text messages that included her slamming Rob as "fat" and "lazy."
Other exchanges hinted strongly that Chyna was going to dump Rob some time next year, after securing a trademark on the last name "Kardashian" and laughing all the way to the bank.
We've posted several screen shots from Chyna's alleged hacking throughout this story.
The story then goes that Rob got very angry at Chyna for her leaked insults and plans to dump him... and she responded by taking the couple's baby girl and simply leaving him.
Kardashian made major headlines on Saturday night when he filmed himself all alone inside his home, telling Snapchat viewers that he was a "broken" man as a result of Chyna's actions.
Since then, Chyna has posed online with a rumored new love interest and Rob has sworn that this is not yet another Kardashian-related publicity stunt.
He said on Sunday that the split is real.
Oh, and Chyna's mom spoke out, slamming Kardashian and saying he needs therapy.
So, really, we're talking about your basic 48 hours for a couple that needs to generate ratings for its E! specials and its E! reality series.
And now Rob has jumped on Instagram once again to issue a heartfelt apology, while also expressing his love for Blac Chyna and claiming he'll actually take Tokyo Toni's advice.
“This weekend I was in an emotional bad place and did some things that embarrassed myself and my family,” Kardashian wrote in an Instagram post on Monday, adding:
“I apologize and I’m seeking help to deal with my flaws/issues. Please pray for me and I’m sorry @blacchyna. You are a great mother to our child and I love you.”
Now, IF we're supposed to believe that Chyna was really hacked... and IF we're supposed to believe that she sent people emails bashing her fiance and confessing that she plans to leave him...
... then we have no idea why Rob would be apologizing.
Might these two have gotten so trapped in their own web of lies that they can't even keep track any longer of which fake storyline they're tying to tell to the public?
Along with the Mea Culpa issued above, Rob shared an adorable picture of daughter Dream Kardashian and promised to be the best parent he can be to the one-month old.
"I am going to get better for you Dream. You are my life and gave me a new start on being a better me. Love you," he captioned the following image.
And this is where things just get sad.
If Rob and Chyna want to play a million games with each other and/or with the media and/or with their followers, fine. Whatever. So what? That's how this family has rolled for years.
But there's now a child involved.
There's nothing funny or entertaining about Dream's parents breaking up every week; or pretending to break up every week; or whatever the heck you choose to believe about this story.
There's also nothing funny about Rob turning to religion and exploiting people's belief system.
You want us to pray for you, Rob Kardashian?!? Allow us to pose a question in response to that request.
Another allegedly leaked Blac Chyna text exchange. Harsh, isn't it?
PRAY FOR WHAT?!?
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