When I heard that Beyoncé’s girl was coming, you know Mama had to go put on her big hair. Did I remember to unfollow that idiot blogger on Twitter? That boy is nothing b… Read More
So, umm…yeah. About that whole Dance Moms thing. It started out as a pretty slow news day at the ALDCA, all things considered. Until, well…you know.Bet you didn’t see t… Read More
I just can’t believe it’s been 7 years and they still haven’t filled one pothole in this parking lot. This kitchen remod is way over budget. Put your shoes on… Read More
So lemme get this straight. First you take my crown. And now you’re taking my toys? HellNaw. I dunno. I mean…I just…I just can’t imagine not having this T&a……Read More
If they gave away this much shizz when I was working the circuit, I woulda scored big. Dang. While that baby’s screwing with her bubbles, hit me with track #2 and I’ll s… Read More
I have a special pink room upstairs with no doorknobs or windows just for Eden. She’s pretty. You get them curls on point, girl. I know that little man and his blog are co… Read More
Attention: License plate TTWINNZ. Your lights are on and there’s poop all over your back seat. Where’s my damn purse? I could sure use some of those animal tranquilizers… Read More
Imma ’bout ready to slap a weight limit on some of these Mamas and put ’em back in the cage. I accidentally used pixie stix instead of Splenda and now I swear a mon… Read More
Bitch, I know you got my crown and I’m coming for you as soon as I finish this juice box. If the Fair Pageant Bureau finds out I’ve been claiming dental deductions for fa… Read More
How can she NOT have Jungle Boogie on replay? It’s like a Kool & The Gang classic. Google it. It’s my Pageant and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to. Yo… Read More
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