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Justice For The Pizza Loving Homeless Dude – Mental Mondays (NSFW)

What’s up, Sevenettes. Welcome back to Mental Mondays. This month should be good, right? I mean, it’s April, the month of fools. Not like the planet runs short of them any other month though. Still, April brings all the trolls out of the woodwork so there should be plenty of news stories to fill out this months Mental Monday, so let’s get started.

First up, two for the price of one.

First up, we have a twofer from the Palm Beach Post, both regarding our favourite thing here on Mental Mondays; naked (#sarcasticstatementissarcastic). Firstly, a sixty year old man was found wandering down Interstate 10 in a state of complete undress, bothering passing motorists and performing lewd acts upon himself. Shortly after this, he was found and arrested having been pulled over 100 miles away. Seriously? A naked 60 year old? Why are these naked people who crop up on here either old, ugly or both? Why can’t they look more like Nick D’Agosto and less like Nick Nolte?

Would you?

But, as I said, there’s two of them. The second was reported a couple of days before. A 32 year old woman, naked and (obviously) intoxicated, was removed from the lobby of North Okaloosa Medical Centre. She’d actually been treated three times in the previous 24 hours and, when the authorities arrived, was adamant she lived at the hospital. She was arrested for trespassing. Meth is a hell of a drug, ain’t it.

Especially the blue stuff…but I digress.

Okay, I apologise. That is hardly fair. We can infer from context that drugs were involved but there’s no mention of them directly so we cannot back that up. This next one, however, leaves no room for doubt. It says “Meth” right in the headline. In Dallas (the state, not the TV show, but this story wouldn’t be amiss in a soap opera) a 23 year old woman lured two boys to a Wal-Mart car park with the promise of candy.

No, not that Candy.

Now, I’m not gonna crack a joke here. Child Abduction is a very real concern worldwide. I try and avoid stories where people are seriously hurt and, luckily, the children were returned unharmed to their parents very quickly because the dumbass decided to take them on a little shop(lift)ing spree and got caught. But I will say this though. When I was a kid, we had the whole “don’t take sweets from strangers” thing drilled into our heads and wouldn’t have even wandered off with the Homeless woman with a bra full of meth. In all seriousness, I think it’s time we brought back those scary PSA’s about things like Stranger Danger, The Green Cross Code and Not Playing Near Railroad Tracks. Oh, and possibly allowing the parents of kidnapped children to spend an hour in a room with only the abductors and a variety of sporting equipment.

No? Just me?

Of course, sometimes a child can save the day and catch the bad guy, as one hapless would-be burglar would find out. 32 year old Jason Paul Oehme, a man with several outstanding warrants already, was seen skulking about a residence by their neighbours son. In a move that wouldn’t be out of place in Home Alone 9, when Jason hid in a shed, the boy strolled out, locked the shed door then told his mother, who told the neighbours about it and then called the authorities.

That’s some Scooby Doo shit right there.

So, basically, he would have got away with it were it not for that meddling kid. Congratulations, Jason, you’re officially a cartoon character. What were you thinking? Wait, I can actually answer that. The guy was carrying a backpack (which he denied was his) containing two pipes, one of which contained traces of marijuana and meth. So now we know, drugs do not make you a good sneak thief.

Just Say No, kids.

Next up, we have a rare event here on Mental Mondays; an incident where I’m actually siding with the criminal. In San Francisco, specifically a bus stop in San Francisco, a homeless man has been issued with a citation for eating Pizza at the bus stop. I had to check three separate articles to get the full story because just the idea of this seems both petty and ridiculous. So here’s what I gathered. The homeless man was “cited” simply to move him along. There had been a stabbing that occurred recently at that location but no word on whether or not the homeless man was involved in that particular incident.

Guy just wanted to eat pizza. Leave him be.

Aside from that, the case has attracted a fair degree of attention. A bunch of people organised a protest and have been eating at bus stops up and down that particular route. None of them were cited, seemingly proving that a certain degree of profiling was going on. Personally, let the guy enjoy his pizza. He’s not hurting anyone. As for the protesters, if I could afford the pizza, I’d go out and protest myself. Of course, I don’t live in San Francisco so I imagine all it would achieve is just one lonely man at a bus stop with his pizza. But I’m with you in spirit, dudes. In very hungry spirit.

A hungry spirit.

Next up, this one comes straight from the “What Were You Thinking” department. A 32 year old resident of South Jersey was arrested for stealing nine packets of cigarettes from a convenience store as well as resisting arrest. It had to have been one of the quickest arrests in police history. How do I know? Because the cops were standing right there when he did it.

Didn’t this happen in one of the Bad Boys films?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. They could have been plain clothes officers and he was just unlucky. Well, according to the article I’m reading here, the two cops were wearing police issue vests. You know, the ones that say “POLICE” on them in huge block letters, like the ones pictured above. It gets worse though. The guy was obviously planning this as he had a getaway driver waiting for him. A getaway driver who completely failed to drive away from the police, instead coming to an immediate stop when the police told him too.

This was literally the only thing I could think of that would have been a worse getaway driver.

And finally, in Bono, Arkansas, a mistaken delivery winds up getting a woman arrested. The woman in question had drugs, specifically 5 pounds of meth, delivered to the wrong address. The man who received the package notified the police who then contacted the woman, asking her to come and collect her package. Which she did, like an idiot, and was promptly arrested, like an idiot.

I agree with House. You’re an idiot, you idiot.

Which brings us to the close of this month’s Mental Mondays. I’ll have more ready for you next month. I’ll be back tomorrow with another Trivia Tuesday so, until then, take care and Party Hearty.

Sources

Man naked on Florida road is later caught driving naked.

After three hospital visits in 24 hours, drunk and naked woman kicked out.

Homeless woman, 23, with crystal meth hidden in her bra is arrested ‘for luring two boys to a Walmart with the promise of candy.’

Bryan man arrested after child catches him hiding, locks him in shed.

Homeless man issued citation for eating pizza at a bus stop.

Protest held for homeless man reportedly cited for eating pizza at San Francisco bus stop.

Man shoplifts cigarettes in front of cops in Wawa.

Package delivery sends woman to jail.

The post Justice For The Pizza Loving Homeless Dude – Mental Mondays (NSFW) appeared first on Sy's Seven +.



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