When two people break up there’s no such thing as a ‘winner’ and a ‘loser’, right?
Of course there’s a winner. It’s petty, and definitely not healthy, but after a breakup there is an unspoken race to be the first one that is totally over the relationship.
This is why you suddenly see all the ‘cheers’ boomerangs and selfies creep onto people’s Instagram feeds, in an attempt to show how completely fine they are and remind the other person what they’re missing out on. Sure, it’s seems pointless and borderline self harming, but the masquerade does have a certain ‘fake it till you make it’ vibe. Like, even if you’re going to Instagrammable restaurants with Dave from accounts just to spite your ex, ultimately you are still going on dates. You’re dragging yourself away from eating chocolates in bed and putting your fleeky highlighter on.
So, if you’re in this breakup to win it, here’s a few do’s and don’ts on the road to actually being over it:
Don’t go hard on the selfie game
Thirst traps don’t work if they’re obviously thirsty, so spending actual time out of your life making your cleavage look perky AF for a selfie is a waste of time and energy. Plus, posting essentially the same photo over and over again doesn’t make your ex think “wow, she’s so beautiful I’m such an idiot” it makes them, and the rest of us, think “why is she posting so many selfies.”
Instead: Go somewhere Instagram-able, let’s use Liverpool’s gorgeous new bar and restaurant The Florist as an example (because, trust me, you want to be seen there) and get your mates to take a photo of you looking fire by the flower wall. Not only will it brighten up your Instagram feed, but it’ll give us all a nice break from all those depressed selfies.
Please stop boomerang-ing your shots
Sorry, but posting endless boomerang’s of you and your mates cheers-ing Jägerbombs doesn’t make you look cool and alluring, it make you look like you’re out making poor life choices thinly disguised as fun.
Instead: If you absolutely must take a photo of your drink, at least make sure it’s a drink worth looking at. The Florist, (yes, I’m sticking with this theme because I fucking love it in there) for example, does Prosecco cocktails that look as good as they taste!
Lay off the inspirational quotes
As I’ve said before; finding an Insta-worthy quote that perfectly sums up how you’re feeling after an argument is beautiful. But putting a badly-cropped Insta-quote about how all men are scumbags isn’t going to do anything for your chilled out-factor
Instead: If you want to put a quote on the internet that shows how carefree and fabulous you are, at least take it yourself. Not only is the Florist full of gorgeous wall-art but also, if it’s a choice between either getting out somewhere pretty, or trawling Pinterest for passive aggressive quotes, I know which one I’d choose.
Until next time… x
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