A new Baby sibling can become a lifelong friend you can depend on no matter what happens. However, the relationship doesn’t always start that way. The arrival of a new baby into a young child’s life is a significant change, especially if the child is currently the youngest or only child in your home.

Suddenly, they no longer have your undivided attention, and this stranger is occupying their space. It will take time for siblings to adjust to this new dynamic. Here are some tips to consider when getting ready to introduce your child to their new baby sibling.

Before their new baby sibling arrives, there are several things you can do to introduce the idea of a baby to your child.

No matter how young your child is, it helps to hear about their soon-to-be sibling. Talk about babies in general and things that your baby will do and need. Part of this conversation can also be that babies can’t talk to let us know they need help, so they cry to let us know.

To help your Older child feel more connected to you and secure in this new dynamic, talk with your child about how to communicate their needs to you. Talk about how the baby will be “our” baby and how they will love and grow together.

Picture books will help them visualize what a new baby in the family and their home looks like. Young children are more concrete learners. Having pictures to look at when discussing the arrival of a new baby will help young children visualize the new baby in their home. Check out these books that help parents discuss and create anticipation for a new sibling. 

• You Were the First by Patricia MachLachlan
• Mama’s Belly by Kate Hosford
• I Am a Big Brother and I Am a Big Sister by Caroline Jayne Church
• Big Sisters are the Best and Big Brothers are the Best by Fran Manushkin
• The Baby is Here! and Big Brother Daniel by Angela C. Santomero 

If you have family or friends with babies, have your child meet them. Introducing your child to other babies helps them learn what to expect from a new baby. If the parents are comfortable, allow your child to interact with the baby using soft touches and play that is age appropriate for the baby. This is an excellent way for your child to practice being a new big sister or brother.

Involve your child in getting things ready for the arrival of the baby. Show them how small the baby’s clothes are and compare them with their own. Have them help arrange the diapers, clothes, and other necessities. Set up the baby’s sleeping space and discuss how it is a safe place for the baby.

If you have a spot for nursing or a nursery for the baby, have your child bring a few of their books or quiet playthings to set up there. Having their items in the baby’s nursery helps your child feel like they have a place in all of this too.

The first meeting between a young child and their newborn sibling is a highly emotional and anticipated event for parents. For the child, though, it can swing either way. They may be excited about the arrival of a new baby, or they might be apprehensive and reluctant. Either reaction is entirely normal.

Remember that your job is to facilitate a gentle introduction and to support your child through this significant change however they need. Here are some tips on helping your child meet their new sibling for the first time.

We often imagine the scene of the first meeting between siblings to be full of amazement and joy. In reality, you must be ready if your child doesn’t want anything to do with their new sibling. Remember, the baby is a stranger to them and may need time to warm up. Be careful about using words that make your child feel like they did something wrong if they don’t want to interact with the baby. 

It is also easy to forget that despite becoming a new big sister or brother, your child is not any bigger physically or mentally than a day ago. Compared to a newborn, your older child will look bigger.

However, they continue to have the exact needs and abilities they did before their new sibling arrived. Avoid falling into the expectation that they should somehow be more mature since they are now a new big sister or brother.

It is common for children to go through a regression in behavior and require more assistance to get through their day. Be prepared for the new big sister or brother to suddenly not be willing to feed themselves or put on their shoes.

It is very important to connect with your child when they first meet their new baby sibling. Remember that your child is meeting you in a strange place if you had a hospital birth. If you wait until you come home, you are gone for at least one night. You are also more vulnerable than when you left for the hospital, and children pick up on that. Your child may be reluctant to come near you, let alone your baby.

Greet your older child with empty arms and allow them to connect with you. Follow their cues, and if they are comfortable or curious, move on to an introduction. If they are unsure of you or nervous about the baby, give them a moment of one on one connection before introducing their new sibling.

Before the baby arrives, help your child pick a gift for their new baby sibling. Make sure they have it with them for the first meeting. Keep a gift ready for your older child in your hospital bag so you can pull it out at the hospital or when you get home.

Purchase small and big stuffies or specific, developmentally appropriate gifts for each child. Giving or receiving a gift is a concrete love language that a small child can appreciate and understand. Here are some gift ideas to help you get started.

• Matching Big and Little Stuffies
• Matching Baby and Kid Blankets
• Activity Book or Game for the older sibling to enjoy
• Baby Toy or Book for the new baby

In the middle of all the sleepless nights and round-the-clock feeds, burping, and changing, not to mention all the healing needed for mom, spending quality time with your older child can be scarce. Ask any other adults around to spend some quality time with your older child and to help you spend some time with them too.

You don’t have to do anything fancy. Plan easy ways to spend time with them—stock up on simple games and activities you can play together. When you are ready, have a way to make it easy to go on walks with your children. Use a double stroller, push your older child in a stroller with the baby in a carrier, or let your older child use a ride-on attachment for the baby’s stroller.

Interact with your older child about what they see and do outside. Take a few moments to cuddle and read some books together. These small acts can help keep their buckets full so that when you are busy with the baby, they are secure because you are there for them too.

If both children are crying at the same time, as will happen many times, it’s okay to “ask “the baby to wait their turn sometimes. Put the baby down in a safe place and tell them you need to help their older sibling, similar to how you would tell your older child.

Helping your older child first helps them feel like they aren’t always second place. It can be hard to hear your crying baby and keep your cool. Remember that crying is their way of communicating that they need something, not that they are in pain. They will not be scarred for life if you tend to your older child first sometimes.

As you and your growing family adjust to the new dynamics, remember to be aware of your older child’s cues. Allow them to interact when they show interest or step back when they don’t. 

By being supportive and mindful, in time, you will help your children find their spaces in each other’s lives and hearts. You will also eventually find methods of interacting that work best for you and your children, leading to a healthier transition for your family.

Have you introduced a new baby to your older child? How did their first meeting go? Comment below!