Planning a Trip to Las Vegas? Woah! You must be excited already. Las Vegas deserves to be on everyone’s USA bucket list. Whether you want some inspiration before you visit Las Vegas (as if you need some) or simply looking for a Vegas caption to go with your Las Vegas picture, we’ve got you covered. We scoured the internet to gather the best Las Vegas quotes, Las Vegas sayings, Las Vegas puns, and Las Vegas captions for you!
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Best Quotes About Las Vegas
Las Vegas looks the way you would imagine heaven must look at night.
~ Chuck Palahniuk
There’s just no quiet in Vegas.
~ Barry Manilow
If you know how to live in Vegas you can have the best time.
~ Tony Curtis
Everything and anything you want to do – you can do it in Las Vegas.
~ Drew Carey
Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.
~ Don Rickles
Las Vegas: It was not cafe society, it was Nescafe society.
~ Noel Coward
There’s really only one constant in Las Vegas and that’s change.
~ Travis Hoium
Every experience I have had here is fun, and everyone is in a good mood; they are happy, and they let it go. I like that. It is refreshing to me.
~ Kelly Carlson
While I was busy hating Vegas and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas.
~ J. R. Moehringer
It’s hard to imagine a bigger desert oasis than Las Vegas.
~ Cinnamon Stomberger
The view from the window, particularly if you enjoy neon, is extraordinary.
~ Chris Bachelder
Sometimes I think I need to get crazy. Go to Vegas.
~ Chris Pine
Las Vegas, Nevada: a city where oddities don’t make you lame, but instead bring you riches and fortune and fame.
~ Walter Wykes
Vegas is the most extreme and allegorical of American settlements, bizarre and beautiful in its venality and in its devotion to immediate gratification.
~ Joan Didion
Las Vegas history, the real Las Vegas history, makes fops and fools of even the most sincere explorers. The city’s story is riddled with blind alleys, dead ends, crazy twists, and outright fabrication.
~ John L. Smith
No one thinks Las Vegas is real; it is illusion, but visitors willingly suspend disbelief and pretend.
~ Hal Rothman
I’ve had some really, really wild fun nights in Vegas. I ended up on stage once with this band, The Digital Underground, doing the Humpty Dance.
~ Ashton Kutcher
Las Vegas is a 24-hour city. It never stops.
~ Eli Roth
I used to pretend that my Peugeot driving to the gym in the rain in Dublin was a Ferrari on the Vegas strip.
~ Conor McGregor
I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas.
~ Tom Waits
If you aim to leave Las Vegas with a small fortune, go there with a large one.
~ Unknown
Las Vegas is a very strange place. It’s a place of broken dreams.
~ Concha Buika
It seems strange to say this, but it is true: Coming back to Vegas to work is like going on vacation for me.
~ Celine Dion
Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream.
~ Hunter S. Thompson
The secret of Vegas is that money is boring. Hence all the bluster.
~ Jace Clayton
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
~ Steven Wright
Las Vegas is a city built on hopes, dreams, and a little bit of crazy.
~ Michael Mcdonald
Las Vegas is sort of like how God would do it if he had money.
~ Steve Wynn
Las Vegas is the most honest fake city in the world.
~ Frank Scoblete
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness, and sadness all at the same time.
~ Artie Lange
I love Las Vegas because it’s the one city less classy than Los Angeles.
~ J. Richard Singleton
Las Vegas is the only town in the world whose skyline is made up neither of buildings, like New York, nor of trees, like Wilbraham, Massachusetts, but signs.
~ Tom Wolfe
Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
~ Evan Esar
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More Quotes about Vegas
Hatred is not what Las Vegas is about. We will have zero tolerance for anyone who is intolerant.
~ Oscar Goodman
Seriously, why tour the world when all you have to do is visit Las Vegas and see all the highlights in one location?
~ Jeff Maguire
It is not economic development; it’s about taking money out of the consumer economy and shipping it off to Las Vegas.
~ John Warre
It is not easy to get rich in Las Vegas, at Churchill Downs, or at the local Merrill Lynch office.
~ Paul Samuelson
The reason you should go to Las Vegas is that, for only the second time, the second time, ever, they have rebuilt Sodom and Gomorrah. It’s back!! And you have the opportunity to see it before it turns to salt.
~ Lewis Black
I’ve been to Vegas. That’s where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That’s the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500, and refuse to quit.
~ Louie Anderson
Las Vegas is the suicide capital of America … and not everyone who comes here leaves here. Sometimes, what happens in Vegas truly stays in Vegas.
~ Paul W. Papa
Vegas is everything that’s right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They’ve effectively legalized everything there.
~ Drew Carey
I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It’s a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there.
~ Robin Williams
So, you know, if, if I wanted to get up and just play golf one day, I would just get up and play golf. If I wanted to go to Vegas, I would just get up and go to Vegas.
~ Michael Phelps
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Sayings About Vegas
Las Vegas is a major family destination. Nevada casinos have become American family values now. It’s considered just fine to go into one of these windowless scary gambling malls, drink yourself silly, lose your ass at roulette, and then google showgirls with breast implants. Republicans do this now. Working-class folks do it in polyester stretch pants. It’s normal.
~ Bruce Sterling
Contemporary Las Vegas is astonishing. At night, it is a brilliant cluster of jewels of all shapes, sizes, and colors, glowing in the middle of a vast, black velvet canopy. By day, it is also an amazing sight, almost like a mirage. There is nothing but desert and rugged mountains all around, and then- in the middle of it all – one of the largest and fastest-growing cities in the United States… truly an enigma.
~ Thomas Taj Ainlay
Las Vegas is perhaps the most color-blind, class-free place in America. As long as your cash or credit line holds out, no one gives a damn about your race, gender, national origin, sexual orientation, address, family lineage, voter registration, or even your criminal arrest record. Money is the great leveler.
~ Marc Cooper
Las Vegas suggests that the thirst for places, for cities and gardens and wilderness, is unslaked, that people will still seek out the experience of wandering about in the open air to examine the architecture, the spectacles, and the stuff for sale, will still hanker after surprises and strangers.
~ Rebecca Solnit
I go to Las Vegas–or at least I went to Las Vegas–because even though I knew everything that was sinister, calculating, and evil about it, I loved Las Vegas. Only in Vegas could I dare to fantasize that I was a friend of Frank. Or that I was throwing the dice at Dino’s favorite table. Or that I might luck out and sip bourbon with Rickles after his last lounge show. The D.I. oozed that kind of heady fantasy.
~ Marc Cooper
Las Vegas is the entertainment capital of the world, where sleep is a mere inconvenience interrupting a continuous stream of fun and hedonism, and where everything is bigger, louder, flashier, and trashier than anywhere else in the world.
~ Jackie Staddon & Hilary Weston
In Las Vegas, everything takes place as if the absence of any sense of belonging to the environment entailed a hypertrophied sensitivity to details. There is no possibility of visual escape into perceptual horizons of indeterminateness (left-right, forward-back, near-far), but, instead, only the pregnancy of enlarged, exaggerated and highlighted forms. Behind each lit-up sign no space is hollowed out, no incipient world. Everything is there, everything is flat. As thick as the giant advertising billboards that ubiquitously package it, loading it with naive and comic symbols, crude, schematic messages, Las Vegas is a city of literal superficiality.
~ Bruce Begout
Las Vegas exists chiefly to satisfy the needs and desires of its visitors, and this it does in spectacular fashion. Sin City has taken or re-created the best that other great cities have to offer and then upped the ante — making it bigger, grander, flashier.
~ Scott Doggett
There is always a sneer in Las Vegas. The mountains around it sneer. The desert sneers. And arrogant in the middle of its wide valley, dominating those diligent sprawling suburbs, the downtown city sneers like anything.
~ Jan Morris
I think the problem with Vegas is Las Vegas is trying to escape from itself, either rewrite history or make new history. All these properties that started Las Vegas, nothing’s there anymore.
~ Cory Cooper
I don’t think anyone leaves Las Vegas rejuvenated, their skin shining, their bank accounts glowing. No one leaves Vegas, like, ‘I didn’t make one mistake. That felt great. Back to work.’
~ Iliza Shlesinger
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Las Vegas Quotes for Instagram
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
~ Jonathan Clements
Vegas is the most extreme and allegorical of American settlements, bizarre and beautiful in its venality and in its devotion to immediate gratification.
~ Joan Didion
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
~ Ambrose Bierce
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…but that doesn’t matter when you live there.
~ Michelle Madow
In Las Vegas, nothing ends very well.
~ Walter Wykes
It’s always nice to be paid to be in Las Vegas.
~ Iliza Shlesinger
If you know how to live in Vegas you can have the best time.
~ Tony Curtis
The greatest risk is not taking one.
~ Tim Fargo
Las Vegas without Wayne Newton is like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse.
~ Merv Griffin
I love Vegas. God knows that I know how to find my way around the buffets in Las Vegas.
~ Mick Majerus
I got a ton of memories in Las Vegas I can’t talk about!
Las Vegas is a feast or famine kind of city.
~ Kevin Raiford
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Puns about Las Vegas
I’m on a Vegas diet.
Girls’ Strip.
May the flop be with you.
I saw the neon sign and it opened up my eyes.
Vegas stole a pizza my heart.
You glow, girl.
Alcohol you later!
Keep calm and play poker.
Las Vegas is not a desert Mirage.
Las Vegas Jokes
What’s the difference between Las Vegas and Wuhan? What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
What fruit is not allowed in any Las Vegas Wedding Chapels? Cantaloupe
I was driving through Las Vegas when I saw an ant riding a gazelle to a wedding chapel. It was my first time seeing an ant elope.
I hear that Las Vegas is the capital city of trigonometric functions…It earned the nickname Sin City!
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Las Vegas Captions
Vegas is the answer, no matter the question.
Life is more fun with games.
Go rich, come home richer!
Boy, you get greedy in Las Vegas.
~ Louie Anderson
Las Vegas is always in my mind.
Never bet against the house.
City of lights, smiles, and memories.
Vegas is always a good idea.
The night is on my side.
Meanwhile, in Vegas…
Feelin’ lucky in Las Vegas.
Everyone needs a little Las Vegas in their life.
Vegas! Vegas, baby! Vegas!
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, then people would stop dying.
Living and dreaming in neon colors.
See you soon, Las Vegas.
Las Vegas Instagram Captions
Vegas, here I come!
Keep calm and go to Vegas.
Follow your heart, even if it takes you all the way to Las Vegas.
Vegas is a celebration.
~ Jose Andres
Sin City
Keep calm and play poker.
Poker face
Goodbye, reality. Hello, Vegas!
Las Vegas state of mind.
Viva Las Vegas.
Welcome to the shiniest place on Earth!
Life is a gamble.
Life’s a party, dress like it.
~ Audrey Hepburn
Because if you’re not winning, then what are you doing?
The shiniest mirage.
It’s not drinking, it’s brunch.
Vegas way of life.
No bad days found here.
Figurative and literal oasis.
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Funny Las Vegas Quotes
Las Vegas, the most expensive toilet in the world that still can’t flush.
~ Brin-Jonathan Butler
What happens in Vegas, I’m telling everyone.
~ Dane Cook
Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks – it says Goodbye.
~ Frank Sinatra
I shouldn’t be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.
~ Adam Sandler
Vegas must be a great town for Laundromats. Nobody lives there, everybody is just passing through, leaving a little bit of dirt.
I hate to break this to you, but Las Vegas is like an actual city. They have grocery stores, big-box retailers, schools, and everything. I mean, there is even a stoplight or two! It’s crazy.
~ Adam Rank
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what we do in Las Vegas!
I’d rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
~ Ray Romano
We’re not alcoholics. Alcoholics go to meetings. We’re drunks. Drunks go to Vegas.
For me, Vegas is a vacation from being over inhibited, in the highly over inhabited yet uninhabitable city of complete uninhibition.
~ Tammy Bloemzaken
Going to Vegas and not gambling is like going to a restaurant and not eating.
Las Vegas: all the amenities of modern society in a habitat unfit to grow a tomato.
~ Jason Love
The people who say that New York never sleeps must never have visited Las Vegas.
~ Michelle Madow
If you can’t beat them, bluff them.
~ N.R. Kudelis
The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, … But they say ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’ And as far as fashion is concerned, that’s a good thing.
~ Joan Rivers
Every time I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
~ Artie Lange
Funny Vegas Quotes about Gambling
Everything’s a gamble, love most of all.
~ Tess Gerritsen
Gambling isn’t fun; winning is fun.
~ Steven Brust
It’s hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you’re on a losing one.
~ Cara Bertola
I don’t gamble if you will concede that poker is a game of skill.
~ Robert A. Heinlein
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but the 400-pound woman perched in front of a slot machine, oozing bum-flesh off her stool as she balanced a cocktail and cigarette in one hand and robotically tugged the slot arm with the other… that’s still with me.
~ Brian Sack
All life is a gamble and our lives are the dice we throw.
~ Marty Rubin
It is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!
~ James Hauenstein
In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there.
Las Vegas Quotes from Songs
I’ve got my car and my ride and my wheels…When I go to Vegas, well that’s right…I’ve got my drugs and my stuff and my pills…When I go to Vegas.
Calvin Harris, ‘Vegas’
Ooh, Las Vegas ain’t no place for a poor boy like me…
~ Gram Parson, ‘Las Vegas’
I’ll find…I’m leaving Las Vegas…Lights so bright …Palm sweat blackjack…On a Saturday night…Leaving Las Vegas…Leaving for good, for good.
Sheryl Crow, ‘Leaving Las Vegas’
Hey baby, let’s go to Vegas…Kiss the single life good-bye…
~ Faith Hill, ‘Let’s go to Vegas’
There’s a thousand pretty women just waitin’ out there…They’re all livin…Devil may care and I’m just the…Devil with love to spare…Viva Las Vegas…
Elvis Presley, ‘Viva Las Vegas’
Christmas in Las Vegas…Decorate your tree with chips…Let’s roll a yo beneath the mistletoe…While that angel strips…
~ Richard Cheese, ‘Christmas in Vegas’
Lost ’till we get to Las Vegas…(Party, do it ’till tomorrow)…Vegas…‘Till we get to Las Vegas…(Party, do it ’till tomorrow)…Vegas
Eminem, ‘Vegas’
Las Vegas Quotes from Movies
I haven’t seen so many sideburns since West Side Story.
Honeymoon in Vegas
Las Vegas looks the way you’d imagine heaven must look at night.
~ Invisible Monsters
Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird about having to ask you twice.
The Hangover
You’re either in or you’re out. Right now.
Ocean’s Eleven
A little bit of this town goes a very long way.
~ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
~ Hunter S. ThompsonRemember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That sh*t’ll come back with you.
The Hangover
Las Vegas makes Reno seem like your friendly neighborhood grocery store.
~ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Why don’t you give me half the money you were going to bet, we’ll go out back, I’ll kick you in the nuts, and we’ll call it a day.
Vegas Vacation
Why can’t we remember anything that happened last night?
The Hangover
Famous Las Vegas Quotes
Here are some of the insanely famous quotes for Vegas!
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go to Vegas.
Man, I really like Vegas.
~ Elvis Presley
Las Vegas – my favorite desert mirage.
~ Val Saintsbury
For a loser, Vegas is the meanest town on earth.
Hope you like our collection of top quotes on Vegas.
Save Vegas Quotes to Pinterest
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