Recently, there have been countless allegations of sexual harassment by Women in Pakistan against certain men. Women took Twitter to reveal the predatory men who made it a habit to send women inappropriate messages and commit intimidation. In particular, certain men who worked in top positions at different companies were also seen as predators. A # MeToo movement on Twitter has undoubtedly begun
Now many of those who read these incriminating messages were placed in a difficult position. The friends of men who were deposed as serial men felt safe around those men, many of whom had not been bothered or made uncomfortable.
This resulted in a number of questions.
Who should we believe?
Who tells the truth?
On which side do we want to stand?
It is not easy seeing offensive messages that go against a friend in the situation and realize that you have to be the victim; a woman you might not even know. But that is what we have learned in the recent past with the movements #MeToo and #TimesUp; women have expressed concern for a long time, but this is the first time in history that these concerns have been heard and taken seriously.
Now it may sound very easy, but imagine that the alleged aggressor a friend was yours or worse; a family member? What would you do in such a situation?
I can tell you to break ties and publicly announce that you have nothing to do with that person, but it is not that simple. Not always. Some people may find the power to do exactly what I have mentioned above, but others may not. In these times when the current story is redefined, however, it is important to be on the right side of history.
Let's take a recent example. Ali Zafar has been accused several times of sexual harassment by Meesha Shafi.
While people gathered around Meesha and told her that they believed her, there were others who demanded proof or even came to the help of Ali Zafar by claiming that he had been nothing but a gentleman with them.This was a bad service for Meesha who risked everything : her social status, her reputation, her career to come out and to oppose Ali Zafar who is internationally loved.
Although there were people who were part of Ali There were others who showed real compassion and understanding Momina Mustehsan
#MeToo needs a response #ImSorry of the offenders Nothing will change until they acknowledge, take responsibility and make up for it
– Momina Mustehsan (@MominaMustehsan) April 20, 2018
Momina is known to be related to the family of Ali. Yet she demanded that Ali accept his fault and apologize.
Still waiting for you to respond @AliZafarsays. Do you think you ever, consciously or unconsciously, have hurt a woman in any way? https://t.co/CS2fYHpWN8
- Momina Mustehsan (@MominaMustehsan) April 21st, 2018
Openly standing against a friend and asking an apology is not easy in such situations. But we can certainly take a look at Momina's book and follow her example. Another gem that stepped forward to speak against was the beloved actor, Osman Khalid Butt.
h3> Osman Khalid Butt has always maintained a staunchly feminist stance. That is why his view of the matter was very noticeable.
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A woman breaks her silence about abuse, is resistant to assassinations and further abuse on social media, her story turns into memes and non-deaf jokes that play down the issue, she is afraid of banishment – but suuuure, she did it for the cheap publicity. https://t.co/eDeOpXYUox
– Osman Khalid Butt (@aClockworkObi) April 19, 2018
Mahira Khan spoke about the issue too, although in a very cryptic, politically correct way
The sick mentality of those who comment on an issue as serious as sexual harassment, just as nonchalant as it just shows are where the root of this problem exists – in our minds. We will continue to breed harassment as long as we continue to ignore this topic.
– Mahira Khan (@TheMahiraKhan) 20 April 2018
The fact that many of Ali Zafar's contemporaries have spoken, is huge.
In this time of today, where things are being swept under clothing, vocality is of vital importance. It is normal to want to believe in a friend because nobody wants to think they are being associated with an aggressor. We all have our loyalty. But if you do your utmost to discredit the victim by talking about how the aggressor has never been anything but good to you, then you are doing a bad job to your fellow women.
We claim that we work for feminism and empowerment of women, but when we are tested, we can often fail.
You do not get harassed by the accused does not mean that others have been so happy.
Then there is the constant demand for evidence. How many times have you been bothered by men and did you have the mind to register the incident or take screenshots when your brain and body wanted to do it all to escape the situation?
It is not easy to stand against friends; especially in public and that is okay but being hypocritical is not
However, in times like this feminism has to make friends . For your own good, if not someone else's. You may never know when the tide can turn. Do not become their enabler; their shield and savior in public. Do not tell me how they have been nice to you and try to discredit the experience of the person brave enough to come out and tell their gruesome experience.
Do not stand before the accused perpetrator; Start with the victim's side who has taken the risk to come out and tell their story.