We predict the B1G games that matter... oh, and the Huskers game against Penn State. This post has been rated PG-13; parental guidance suggested.
Mike: So many bad, offensive, inappropriate jokes to make about this week’s game.
Nate M: An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Patrick G: “If we believe in nothing, if nothing has any meaning and if we can affirm no values whatsoever, then everything is possible and nothing has any importance.” - Albert Camus
Andy: There once was a coach from Penn St.,
In the shower, a young b- (remainder deleted by editor)
Central Florida (-14) at Temple
Nate M: I don’t know anything about anything when it comes to this game, nor do I know anything about anybody associated with this game. Since Vegas thinks a Florida school in the central part of the state will beat Temple then I better go with that. Central Florida 35 - Temple 17
Patrick G: Nebraska plays Central Florida next week in Orlando. On Thanksgiving, the day before the Iowa game which is the last game of the season. Just throwing that out there. Central Florida University 42 Temple University 23
Mike: Uh, Patrick... that’s hoopity. We talking football here. Temple is surging after a really poor start to the season and has been playing pretty good defense as of late. The Fighting Frosties have a dynamic offense and are eyeballing a New Years Six bowl game. Are they going to be distracted by all of the speculating about their coach and where this season is going? Maybe...but last year, the Knights lost to the Owls on a last second score. That’s simply not happening this year. Knights 45, Owls 24
Andy: Temple always sounded like kind of a creepy place with huge Gothic buildings where secret societies would meet and terrorize underwear-clad freshman into doing horrible things while they sipped brandy and pretended that there were no homosexual undertones to their twisted hazing rituals. I know it’s not really like that, just felt like sharing that with you.
Any-ho. Temple’s won a couple, but they give up points and oddly enough, UCF tends to score. Which they will often in this game. Knights 47 Temple 28
Northwestern (-7) at Minnesota
Nate M: Man did we make Minnesota look dominant last week. Even Vegas knows how how good we made them look. Northwestern 28 - Minnesota 17.
Patrick G: Northwestern’s journalism school let it’s accreditation laps earlier this year. They believed the process it uses is “flawed”. Why? Because NW does what they want. Northwestern University 17 University of Minnesota 1
Mike: Who’s the real Minnesota? Last week’s 54 point Gophers, or the Goofers that scored 44 points the previous three weeks combined? I think we all know the answer to that. NW 31, Goofers 20
Purdue (+7.5) at Iowa
Nate M: To me, the Iowa Hawkeyes are known for laying at least a couple stinkers per year. This is going to be one of them. Purdue 20 - Iowa 7
Patrick G: No one wants this game to exist. University of Iowa 23 Purdue University 17
Mike: Who’s the real Iowa? The 55 point Iowegians that delivered Urban Meyer sad pizza from the Casey’s in Woodshed, IA, or the 66 yard Squawkeyes that stunk up Madison last weekend? May not matter, because if Purdue’s Elijah Sindelar makes Iowa cornerback Josh Jackson his favorite receiver this week, the Boilers don’t stand a chance. Jackson has five interceptions the last two weeks; I suspect he builds on that total. Squawkeyes 26, Boilers 16
Michigan (+7.5) at Wisconsin
Nate M: I’d love to say that the more Wisconsin wins, the better Nebraska looks. But we have looked so bad that that is not even a consideration anymore. I’d love to see how much the Michigan fan base is going to start losing patience with Harbaugh if they lose the next two games. Wisconsin 17 - Michigan 13.
Patrick G: Wisconsin is the second largest dairy producing state in the union. Harbaugh likes milk. University of Michigan 17 University of Wisconsin 14
Mike: The Badgers just need to manage Alex Hornibrook and keep him from spoiling this season. Badgers 24, Weasels 14
Nebraska (+26.5) at Penn State
Nate M: To me the only chance Nebraska has in this game is if we get a quick head start by either returning a kick to the house, or the defense has a pick six or a turnover for a score. If we get a quick lead then maybe the heart starts beating for the defense for the first time in several weeks. Unfortunately Mike Riley’s teams never start fast for whatever reason. Penn State 56 - Nebraska 10
Jon: I know a couple of Penn State alums pretty well. I know that they’re constantly in this thought process where they’re going to go 6-6 every year, and they might lose every game. They don’t have to worry about this one. Nebraska and Penn State have played some great games over the years… McCloskey’s Corner happened while I was in college at Nebraska. Trust me when I say that our team is done. There isn’t just one fork in our ass. There are 325 forks in our ass, one for every point scored against us this season. MINNESOTA STUCK 54 FORKS IN OUR ASS. What do you think is going to happen? Let’s just go ahead and make it an even 400 forks in our ass after this weekend. Penn State 75, Nebraska 3
Patrick G: *Sigh, Pennsylvania State University 38 University of Nebraska 17
Mike: I hate to say it, but Nebraska has checked out on this coaching staff and this season. This one looks like it’s going to be brutal. Lions 63, Huskers 14.