Who are we picking to win the big games this weekend?
Brian: Well, it’s the week to find out if your title selections still live through the CFP final 4.
Patrick G: Hi, please watch Nebrasketball.
Andy: I let myself drink too much Husker Kool-aid in the wrong two weeks and am still paying the liquid price for my failure to heed my own warnings.
Joe: Just lost my job, so I should be able to do predictions for the rest of the season. OH. This is the rest of the season.
Pac-12 Championship (Santa Clara, CA)
Washington (-7.5) vs. Colorado
Mike: Colorado? Are you effin’ me? Our favorite dysfunctional football program caught some magic this season, much like Iowa did last year. Coach Mike McIntyre knows full well that this isn’t sustainable, so he’s looking to cash in and bolt for Baylor. As if that’s not enough of a distraction, Washington is playing for a spot in the playoff. Reality bites, Buffies. Huskies 34, CuCu Puffs 17
Brian: Colorado is better than you think, but I wonder if the whole Mike MacIntyre to Baylor gives the Buffs a big distraction. Nevertheless, Washington wins and solidifies itself as Bama’s first asskicking in Atlanta on NYE
Patrick G: I’m going to get lynched for saying this but, I really like Colorado’s team this year. It’s set up to play in the PAC-12 so I’m not so sure how it will do against the big boys if it ever gets the chance and I’m not sure it will. Sustainability is the key in college football and it will be interesting to see where they go in the future. But, we are talking about the here and now. The Buffs are a good PAC-12 team and the Huskies are a good national team, that’s the difference. University of Washington 32 University of Colorado 10.
Andy: Colorado is a little sneaky better than people give them credit for. Scores against tough common opponents are pretty similar and I see a Washington win but under the points.
However, a Huskie blowout could be fun if enough Buff students make the trip. They always tend to lose their tie-dyed minds when Colorado gets curbstomped and the thought of local law enforcement tasing and billyclubbing the bottle-tossing little shits into quivering meat piles brings a grin to my face.
However - Huskies 30 Beef 27
Joe: I say Colorado in this one. There is so much on the line for Washington and though I think Chris Peterson is a great coach, I think the pressure is too much for the Huskies. Colorado 31- Washington 27
Paul: As God is my witness I thought Colorado gave up football five years ago. I hear Washington is pretty good, but since they always play after midnight central, I can’t actually say I’ve watched them this year. UDub 27 Vermin 13
Defacto Big XII Championship
Oklahoma State (+11.5) at Oklahoma
Mike: Oklahoma State is trying to sell the playoff committee that Eastern Michigan didn’t really happen. Well, it shouldn’t have happened...but it did. And Oklahoma is just quietly rolling ever since being left for dead in mid-September. Sooners 45, Cowpokes 31
Brian: OU would win this game in Stillwater, cause they just do. In Norman though? I dunno man. I think they do but it’s way tighter than they want it to be.
Patrick G: This should be a fun game to watch. I’m looking forward to a shootout between T. Boone and Stoops in this one with Mayfield dancing at the end. University of Oklahoma 37 Oklahoma State University 32
Andy: This one just feels like all Oklahoma. The Cowboys are a pretty unimpressive 9-2 and the fact that they were even IN a tight game with a team that lost by 40 to Mizzou tells me all I need to know. Also, when the Cowboys lose, T. Boone makes Gundy dress up shirtless in a leotard and serve mint juleps to him & his oil buddies while they watch Kentucky Derby re-runs and throw deviled eggs at him. So, Oklahoma 44 T Boone St. 31
JOE: Bedlam!! Who cares!! The big 12 decides not to expand so that Texas can poach Herman from Houston. The punishment for this should be no teams in the playoff until they get a conference Championship game. This is not a championship game and so NO PREDICTION EITHER. Take that big 12.
Paul: (struggles to think of something witting to say) Screw it. I hate both these schools. And the Big 12 sucks.
SEC Championship (Atlanta, GA)
Alabama (-24) vs. Florida
Mike: Who wants Bama? I don’t. Roll Tide. ‘Bama 38, Gators 14
Brian: Florida can’t play O. They can play D, but it won’t matter. Tide wins, #1 in the tournament.
Patrick G: Florida, enjoy your participation packet. University of Alabama 89 University of Florida 12
Joe: Bama kills Florida, hopefully beating them up enough that we’ll have an easy time with the Gators if we play them in a bowl. Bama will win by as much as coach Saban tells them to.
Andy: Much like Colorado-Miami which caused me to coin the term back in the day, this is a classic Al-Qaeda game. Turn some extremists loose on this cesspool and dirty bomb all these bastards into a smoking hole.
Ok, that was mean. I’m still a tad irritated following the Iowa debacle. Maybe just hit them all with an icy fire-hose. Alabama 30 Florida 3
Paul: How is this actually a Championship Game? Bama 132 Florida 6.
ACC Championship (Orlando, FL)
Clemson (-10) vs Virginia Tech
Mike: This would seem to be the setup for the ultimate Clempsoning, with the Tigers ranked third. Win and you are in, right? Tiger fans are staying home to save up for a trip. The perfect setup for chaos, right? Give me Justin Fuente and the Tigers. Hokies 34, Clempson 31
Brian: Well, this could be closer than people think. I think Clemson has this odd thing of they just don’t play as well as people think they should. And that’ll kill em in the CFP, but I think they get through this one.
Patrick G: This might very well be the best game out of the bunch. Clemson has the talent and VaTech has the guts. In the end, the talent will win out. Clemson University 23 Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University 21
Joe: This is a real opportunity for Dabo to Clemson the hell out of this game. I see him letting the clock run out with two time outs left. Va Tech 31- Clemson 28.
Andy: McKayla Maroney is not impressed with the Hokies and neither am I. And the Tigers are starting to learn to go for the throat. Climpson 38 Va Tech 24
Paul: Mike stole my word. Aside: Don’t you think The Clempsoning sounds like an awesome CFB-based horror movie? Hokies 31 Tigers 24 because #Clempson
B1G Championship (Indianapolis)
Wisconsin (-2) vs. Penn State
Mike: When Nebraska joined the Big Ten to create a championship football game, I’m sure the networks assumed that Michigan or Ohio State would dominate this event. Instead, it’s Wisconsin who’s been in Indy four out the six years. Here they go again. Badgers 27, State Penn 24
Brian: Wisconsin’s ducked & dodged with that O all year long, why not now? Badgers win by 10.
Patrick: Who needs offense when you have defense? That’s Wisconsin. Who has a running back that could possibly get through that defense? That’s Penn State. I’m going to go with the Nittany Lions on this one. Pennsylvania State University 13 University of Wisconsin 10.
Joe: gotta root for the West here, right? I don’t think anyone outside of “Happy” Valley should be rooting for Penn state for a while still. Penn State had the lucky season we were hoping for. The luck stops here. Badgers 23- Penn st. 13
Andy: If you feel like being called a liar, go ahead and try to tell me that you predicted this championship match up at the beginning of the season. With neither of the two teams that have a realistic shot at the CFP involved, this feels like going to the Daytona 500 to watch grain threshers race.
But I can’t re-emphasize enough what Joe said. Too many of those statue-sexual freaks still have their heads buried neck-deep in the slime of Happy Valley with denial running down their legs like bad diarrhea. Screw them all - Wisconsin has to do this for the common good.
And hopefully on a heartbreaking FG as time expires. Eat it, Penn St. Wiscy 21 Rape U. 20
Paul: Penn State inherited ‘15 Iowa’s luck this year. Wiscy 38 PSU 12.