One stat to rule them all

It seems like half the League was on a bye last week. This week we’ll look at a stat or two that paints a fairly accurate picture of why a team is having the season they’re having this year.

1 Patriots (last week: 1)

The Patriots have started three quarterbacks and have thrown zero interceptions. Zero.

2 Cowboys (last week: 2)

No team gets more first downs per play than the Cowboys offense. Death by a thousand paper cuts.

3 Chiefs (last week: 3)

Kansas City’s defense has gotten multiple turnovers in 6 of their 8 games.

4 Falcons (last week: 5)

The Falcons lead the league in yards per play at 6.8, 2nd place is 6.2. The gap between 1st and 2nd is the same as the gap between 2nd and 15th.

5 Raiders (last week: 6)

Oakland, who are 5-1 in one score games, seem destined for a heartbreaking playoff loss when their defense, the Worst in the league in yards per play (along with the Saints) finally lets them down.

6 Seahawks (last week: 7)

Seattle’s only win by more than 10 was against the hapless 49ers.

7 Broncos (last week: 4)

Opposing QBs have a passer rating of 67.2 against Denver. That’s like having JaMarcus Russell (career 65.2) at QB.

8 Giants (last week: 13)

The Giants have more games with less than 50 rushing yards (3) than they do with more than 100 (2).

9 Redskins (last week: 11)

DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon combine for $19.45M in cap space, they are the 2nd and 3rd highest earners on the Redskins this season. They have combined for 2 TDs.

10 Cardinals (last week: 12)

Larry Fitzgerald is once again Arizona’s leading receiver, but he’s having the worst season of his career with 9.9 yards per catch.

11 Eagles (last week: 9)

2015 1st round pick Nelson Agholor, who has played in 84% of snaps this year, has as many TD receptions this season as Donald Penn and Taylor Lewan, and his season high in yards in a game is 57. UDFA teammate Bryce Treggs eclipsed that in his debut on Sunday.

12 Steelers (last week: 10)

The Steelers have given up less than 17 points in each of their 4 wins. They’ve scored less than 17 points in each of their 4 losses.

13 Vikings (last week: 8)

Defensive points per drive: 1st. Offensive points per drive: 28th. They had been the last undefeated team, now Minnesota is in danger of missing the playoffs.

14 Saints (last week: 15)

New Orleans are the opposite of the Vikings: 2nd in offensive points per drive, 28th in defensive points per drive.

15 Lions (last week: 18)

Matthew Stafford is 5th in the league in passer rating. If “QBs who played the Lions” were a singular player, he would be 3rd.

16 Chargers (last week: 20)

San Diego has gotten a takeaway in every game and multiple takeaways in 6 games, but has the 26th worst scoring defense because they are the 4th worst red zone defense.

17 Texans (last week: 14)

Prized free agent Brock Osweiler, under QB guru Bill O’Brien, is 32nd in the league in yards per attempt. That’s worse than Blaine Gabbert.

18 Bengals (last week: 17)

At 1.0%, Andy Dalton is having his best interception rate season. At 3.1%, he’s also having his worst touchdown rate season.

19 Bills (last week: 16)

Since firing Greg Roman, the Bills would be 12th in the league in yards and 4th in the league in scoring.

20 Dolphins (last week: 21)

Adam Gase was brought in to get Ryan Tannehill over the hump. Nobody throws the ball less than Miami.

21 Colts (last week: 23)

Indianapolis’ defense is bad, but it’s consistent: 5th worst passer rating and 5th worst yards per rushing attempt.

22 Ravens (last week: 26)

Division leaders with a point differential of 1. One.

23 Panthers (last week: 25)

Last place in their division with a point differential of -1.

24 Packers (last week: 19)

What a weird season Aaron Rodgers is having. 3rd in touchdown percentage, 4th worst yards per attempt.

25 Bears (last week: 24)

At 393 yards, 32 year old tight end Zach Miller is the Bears second leading receiver. His career high is 439.

26 Jets (last week: 22)

4. 3. 2. 1. 4 QBs on the roster. 3 of them are Jets draft picks. 2 of them have gotten any meaningful playing time. The Jets are 1st in the league in turnovers.

27 Titans (last week: 27)

Marcus Mariota is 6th in the league in touchdown percentage and 10th in yards per attempt. So of course the Titans are 27th in the league in attempts per game.

28 Buccaneers (last week: 28)

Tampa’s leading rusher, Jaquizz Rodgers, already has a career high in rushing yards with 393.

29 Rams (last week: 29)

Jeff Fisher ain’t fucking going 7-9, or 8-8. Or 9-7. Or 10-6 for that matter. He’s on track to go 6-10. Should have ruled that one out coach.

30 Jaguars (last week: 30)

Jacksonville is having their best defensive scoring season under Gus Bradley: 25th.

31 49ers (last week: 31)

San Francisco is on pace to have the worst point differential in a league that might have a winless team.

32 Browns (last week: 32)

It’s a cop out, but 0 wins really says it all.