THE INSIDER DEAL

The Cast

Date: 26 May 2020

FILLERBUSTER’S ELEVEN

BACKGROUND:  This started as a long-winded numbered blog.  It transformed into an organized long-winded category blog.  Now, it is a quick-hitter to ease your pain.  I lack time.  So, the preparation of the blog actually made me procrastinate from writing the thing.  Let’s see who makes the cut.  Barely edited as usual unfortunately, so please excuse any mistakes during my stream of consciousness.  I feel the need…the need for speed.  Let’s turn and burn.

SETTING:  This is written on Tuesday evening, while my wife watches her shows (Dead To Me this time around).  Edited and released on Wednesday morning before work time.  Enjoy.

1. EVERGREEN 1.  The High Five.  I read an interesting article the other day.  It talked about the effect of COVID on such a mainstream part of our culture, the high five.  To think about all of the little things in life that will be changed post-COVID brings along sad thoughts, and the high five is simply on that list of casualties.  I am also including a link that traces to the origin of the high five, much more interesting than you would think initially, and much harder to decipher the first person than you would think.  My mind also goes where it usually goes, to a Seinfeld reference.  The Dealership.  Jerry is trying to purchase a car on an “insider deal.”  Puddy is the car salesman.  The Insider Deal of course relies on the relationship status of Puddy and Elaine, but it is also Jerry’s extreme resistance about participating in high fives that also puts the Insider Deal in precarious territory.  Kramer is testing the limits of “empty” on the gas gauge on a test drive and George is organizing candy bar lineups.  If you recall, the lineup features ALL Twix’s.  But, back to Jerry, as he must be celebrating a little about post-COVID life, as the amount of high fives will be drastically decreased.  High five article on post-COVID. https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/29200202/has-coronavirus-ruined-high-five   And here is the one that attempts to find the origin.  https://www.espn.com/espn/story/_/page/Mag15historyofthehighfive/who-invented-high-five
   1. And continuing with my usual Seinfeld theme when stories are available, Richard Herd died Tuesday night.  George might have been a terrible liar, but you were the perfect fit for Seinfeld.  Richard also was in Get Out along with dozens of other shows and movies, and I reference that movie later on.  We will miss you, Mr. Wilhelm. 
2. EVERGREEN 2.  COVID.  My random notes from the COVID world in compressed fashion.  There is a Tokyo bar that literally sprays customers from head to toe when they walk into the location.  Sort of like a fog machine.  For some events, any workarounds will be impossible.  The Great American Beer Festival announced the entire event will be virtual, which doesn’t sound like fun nor like it has a point at all.  It will be interesting to see how Sweden fairs during all of this, as the nation’s strategy seems to focus on herd immunity much more than other countries.  A sad loss occurred when COVID took the butler of 11 Presidents with it.  Drug smugglers are apparently using sanitizer bottles, which makes total sense.  There is a petition in California for pastors to start hosting services on May 31.  Religious people are getting a little antsy and I am fearful that churches could end up as a main reason if there is a second wave of the virus.  Patrick Ewing got COVID last week, and at least The Last Dance had already run its course so he wasn’t forced to watch replays of his four playoff eliminations by the hands of Mr. Jordan while in the hospital.  I have read about two different hairstylists exposing people to COVID, and my hair and I can wait it out for a bit longer.  Memorial Day hit a very pivotal time in our recovery if you ask me, many people decided to gather without restrictions, and I even had a friend come back from a camping trip because it was too crowded.  And as of Tuesday, 18 states had case surges.  Brazil is now the official hot spot for COVID.  Peru and Mexico have also had big case surges.  Wuhan conducted 6.5 million tests in 9 days, and meanwhile I would have no idea where to go if I decided to get tested.  Did I read that we are about to have a cicada problem too?  Pandemic? Cicadas?  Tornadoes and cyclones?  Anything else we need to add to this end of the world script?
3. EVERGREEN 3.  Jerry Sloan.  Jerry Sloan was a Hall of Fame coach, a true winner, and a class act through and through.  He died this week at the age of 78.  Before he became a great basketball coach, he was very good basketball player.  He was a Chicago Bull, made two All-Star Games, and was first team defense for four of those years.  He is still in the top five in many categories for those Bulls.  And your odd stat of the day is that Jerry is the only player ever in the NBA to average more than two steals along with 7 rebounds or more.  Ironically, the same Bulls where he averaged and made the playoffs 8 of 9 years also denied him from two championships.    Also oddly, he died right after The Last Dance concluded, where the dance IS the run where they end up facing Utah for a second straight year.  He had a no-nonsense approach and was beyond consistent as a coach.  He was the first coach to win 1000 games with the same team, and his tenure of 23 years is still the second longest in history.  And one more trivia bit for you.  He initially accepted the Evansville head coaching job as his first overall gig but then backed out after only five days.  Later that year, the team died on a team flight that crashed.  You lived a great life, Jerry, and we will miss you.
4. THE MATCH: The Match with Tiger, Phil, Tom, and Peyton was done MUCH better than the 2018 attempt, where forced chatter between Tiger and Phil ran out by the third hole, and wagers looked…shady.  My random thoughts.  I only watched from Hole 8 and on (just in time for the split pants) on purpose.  They switched to alternate ball format (modified) on the back nine and I knew that this was when the rubber hit the road, as it would expose the games of Brady and Manning more.  Now, they modified it, so they were let off the hook on the tee shot, but it was still fun to see the strategy.  I hear that Brady didn’t exactly light it up on the front nine, but he did drain a couple of key putts to keep them close on the back nine.  And it all started with his split pants, mic drop, hole in from the fairway.  Tiger was even in such a good mood early that he was giving Phil some longer putts as courtesy.  Yes, I decided to bet on Tiger and Peyton.  Whether fixed, scripted, or real, I figured there was no way they wouldn’t set up a third one of these, so we can continue to have an event that would have been better placed in 2005 or so.  Charles Barkley only did pregame last time, and his larger role was stellar.  Justin Thomas on the course was a nice added touch, and he stole the show when he busted out the “fat ass” reference directed at Chuck.   Golf carts were used for social distancing I assume, but it actually helped the event overall as they got places faster and could talk to us while driving the cart.  We had many social distancing pretend high fives, keeping the theme going on this one.  I am not the biggest Phil fan, but he is legendary for his gambling on the course, and his shit-talking is pretty damn good.  When it started POURING, props to them for continuing and remembering what they were out there for…charity.  I enjoyed the Brady quips during the rain, along with the multitude of Caddyshack quotes through it all.  With his brother on the course, Eli Manning (fresh off of joining Twitter last week) provided some fun tweets the crew shared.  They got serious down the stretch, which was nice after all of the early humor.  I feel like they didn’t purchase waterproof microphones, as both audio and visuals were hit and miss during the rain.  I noticed that Phil is MUCH more hands on as far as instruction to his non-golf pro partner, and Tiger pretty much let Peyton do his thing.  It was very cool that the approach shot on Hole 18 was by both QB’s.  They couldn’t have scripted THAT.  They raised $20 mil, which isn’t shabby at all.  And the Barkley Bogey Challenge was funny and awesome, but they should have squeezed that in DURING the players’ round, when everyone is still watching.  Maybe as a back nine break.  Not after.  Anyway, nice job, and maybe next time we can get a couple of the young guns in the mix.
5. NFL: I was glad to hear that Marvin Lewis voiced that he found the minority draft pick incentive plan offensive.  I agree and voiced that in here last time.   Whether you love him, hate him, or are indifferent, know that there is a Tom Brady documentary coming to a screen near you in 2021.  The Seahawks signed Carlos Hyde, and given that Pete Carroll likes to have a bruising RB, he fits the scheme well, whether a backup or starter.  Gronk is trying to sell us that the reason he joined the Bucs was to be closer to his mom.  Oh Gronk.  Ryan Leaf returned back to his true self with a domestic battery charge.  He continues to add to his biggest bust story, and the world can now resume on Ryan Leaf jokes as we did earlier in our lives.
6. COLLEGE FOOTBALL: Four billion is a very large number, and that would be the loss if no football season occurs.  We are looking good to have one though.  And Ohio State seems to have it all figured out how to do between 20k and 50k people in the stands.  That is a pretty big fluctuation.  Cam Newton’s brother will transfer from Howard to Auburn, and hopefully he can attend the school without being paid like his older brother.  Two rivals get better.  Ohio State gets a commit from a top 300 cornerback (Burke) and Michigan gets a commit from a top 300 linebacker (Colson).
7. COLLEGE BASKETBALL: We lost Eddie Sutton this week unfortunately also.  Eddie was the first to take FOUR teams to the tourney, and his teams only missed one version of March Madness.  800 plus wins.  Three Final Fours.  Six decades of coaching.  He will be missed.
8. NBA: Damian Lillard says he won’t play if there is no chance at playoffs for his team.  I agree with him to a point.  Bottom line is this.  They just need to START with the playoffs and go from there.  Teams that are way out of it can stay home.  I like Mark Cuban’s idea of having the two teams outside of the bracket play a play-in game.  Put them in this bubble in Orlando and let’s get to it.  The most fun part of this bubble plan?  The best players will actually have to stay in the bubble more than the scrubs.  They won’t be able to chance anything going wrong while on the outside.  The next time you think about you might be going crazy in any way, just remember others have it worse.  Paul Pierce didn’t even put LeBron in his all-time starting lineup, so he isn’t playing with a full deck obviously.  There is a new recording of Michael Jordan saying he wouldn’t play on the Dream Team if Isiah Thomas was on there.  Just when we thought we had put this to rest, it wakes all the way back up.  Always a great read for the week.  Five Things.  https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/29191361/five-nba-things-like-including-chicago-bulls-premature-end
9. MISCELLANEOUS: Daniel Abt is a Formula E driver.  Actually, I don’t think I knew there even was a Formula E actually.  Like a lot of racing leagues, they were doing esports as a replacement during COVID.  Abt hired a professional gamer to play it as him.  Dude cheated at esports during a pandemic.  If he is cheating at this, he is cheating at a lot of stuff.  What a loser move that is.  Congratulations to Vanderbilt, who became the first school to hire a black female for their AD position.  I am not watching the Lance documentary.  I have no interest in watching a story about a cyclist who duped the world by cheating his way to a million Tour De France’s.  I am indifferent on the Sosa-McGwire one, and will definitely watch the Bruce Lee one.  Mike Tyson seems to be all over the place these days.  I admired his sparring session, but is the word “comeback” actually being said about this?  I don’t want to watch that circus.  We are impressed, and you look very, very fit, Mike, but stay retired.
10. THIS AND THAT:  The King of Staten Island, with Pete Davidson, looks really, really funny.  Count me in.  Again, I feel like they make a LOT of Family Guy and Shark Tank episodes…like more than one a week. Victoria Secret will close a quarter of its stores, and another mall staple bites the dust.  Pigeons Playing Ping Pong is such a fun name for a band, and they are pretty damn good too.  Superbad is officially a classic staple, and I still pause on it when looking through the guide.  So well done.  My wife seemed surprised I had never seen the movie Clueless.  I am pretty sure that is normal on the male side of things.  I watched a little Hogan’s Heroes the other night, and my list has that show firmly at third behind Seinfeld and Cheers as my all-timers.  Elon Musk has changed his baby’s name, and we are still all confused.  My wife watches Maury when possible.  There is a home GAME for Maury?  How exactly do you play along with a DNA test and just a made-up story?  Daytime commercials are hilarious and before this remote time, I really had no clue that things were still being sold for $19.99 all…the…time.  HopDoddy makes a decent burger, but those amazing and unhealthy looking fries with the works don’t travel well for delivery I don’t think.  I was unaware of a place called Hyco Lake, in North Carolina, that is a HEATED reservoir.  Didn’t know that existed.  I think that Bar Dough might be one of the first places we hit when everything opens back up.  Miss the food, the atmosphere, and the Cacio e Pepe.  We watched an Island Hunters where the budget was $15 million.  Fun to watch, and a little depressing right after.  I have no idea how it slipped through the cracks, but I admit that I had never seen the movie That Thing You Do.  Tom Hanks is in it.  Kind of embarrassing.  I recommend the Frankie if you order lunch from Salt and Grinder.  Good sandwich.  I think this Jimmy Fallon Blackface issue is stupid and we should move on.  I am pretty sure everyone has some little item we can dig up, I am pretty sure that Fallon is not racist, it made it to SNL (which went through approvals to some degree) and wasn’t even like an independent attempt, and let’s forgive and get back to loving the guy.  My wife’s food box had a Pimento burger in it.  Not sure how I missed the Pimento experience growing up, but I can’t stop seeking out Pimento since having it at The Masters a couple years ago.  Want a surprise movie you have never heard of?  Ready Or Not.  Horror-comedy.  Margot Robbie look-alike.  Think of a combination of Get Out and Zombieland.  A family in the gaming business draws a card to choose a wedding night game.  There is a very bad card that is in the deck.  You are simply not sure how it will resolve itself.  B+.  It was an 88 on Rotten Tomatoes.
11. THE FILLERBUSTER: I did a lot of porch sitting for Memorial Day.  No good adventures to share, although doing a camping inventory is high on my list this week.  Odd since I love traveling everywhere, but this COVID thing still has me too nervous to chance trips yet.  Camping I would do.  Moving along in The Wire.  Season 2, and on episode 8.  Caught up in Billions, and they are teeing up this season absolutely perfectly.  I am still very happy with paying someone to do my lawn for me, and that gave me plenty of guilt-porch sitting over the weekend with the wife.  I have not started Treadstone or Curb, but high on my next show list.  I am moving along on Spanish lessons, and logging 15 minutes a day.  I promised the wife I would try some ramen with her, as that is outside of my wheelhouse.  On Sunday, the rain provided the perfect opportunity.  If you order from Mizuumi at Sloan’s Lake, I suggest the volcano choice, even though my expertise of ramen is not existent.  I am 2-0 on my bets thus far coming out of COVID, and can’t wait to figure out this fanless effect.  I read the set list for Panic on Sunday, and passed.  Chris Toler didn’t play this week, and I felt like it left a certain emptiness in our weekend.  But, I assume he is now playing the real thing at a bar or close to it, so that is probably more fun for him.  We did NOT watch The Turning when selecting a movie this weekend, and its 12% might be one of the lower RT scores I have ever seen.  Like a Vince Young Wonderlic score.  I am very bad at searching on DirecTV and frequently get yelled at for buying a $4 movie and not looking harder.  Pittsburgh in August for a wedding, and our annual Aspen trip got put on the calendar officially this weekend.  Since COVID will make us stay home more this summer, we are in search mode for some combo of a pool, hot tub, and hammock.  My wife reacting to finding Despicable Me on TV is always amazing.  Loves how she loves cartoons.  I have an idea for a get together.  I want to have a confusing show night.  Let’s watch Déjà vu, Inception, Memento, Westworld, and some others with a couple of drinks.  Sounds fun to me.  I learned this the hard way.  If you like the Merf’s hot sauce collection, and if you get the Cooyon Superhot flavor, you need small, small dots and that is IT.  Respect its power or lose feeling in your tongue.  I came close again, but wife beat me 5 more times at Scrabble this weekend.  Still only two wins all-time against her in hundreds of tries.
12. TWEET OF THE WEEK

ALTERNATE CATEGORIES THAT DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT:

1. THE BEST WORKOUT SONG EVER FOR THIS WEEK (because the best song this week IS the best song ever…for now):
2. QUOTE OF THE WEEK
3. LINKS TO SAVE YOU TIME IN LIFE
4. TRAVEL
5. THIS WEEK’S LIST
6. MY NUMBERS
7. GONE FISHING (the riddle for money):
8. PICS BY MY PIXEL (pictures from my phone):
9. LIFEGUARD ENTRY:
10. NHL
11. MLB

The theme?  The high five.  Easy one this time around.

And our weekly reminder of the greatest sequel ever made coming out near the end of the year… Top Gun 2.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epgkqPJ_bc0

That’s it for today.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Remember two things.  First, feed yourself, feed your family, but always, always remember to…feed the wolf.  Second,  if you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.  Will I blog again?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, let’s get the flock out of here.

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